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Thread: Top Reality TV Moments for the Week of April 25 - May 1

  1. #1
    Evil Slash Crazy Miss Filangi's Avatar
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    Sep 2002
    Looking for a place to happen

    Top Reality TV Moments for the Week of April 25 - May 1

    Each week, our writers come up with some of the best, worst and always memorable moments in reality TV. Enjoy!

    Don't forget to vote in this week's POLL!

    Karma Calling
    Boston Rob is forever looking for an angle; anything to that will give him and his sweetheart Amber an edge over their competition. On this week’s leg of The Amazing Race, when he realized that all four remaining teams were on the same plane, he decided to psyche out the two teams not in his alliance - just to work on their nerves, as it were. He casually asked Gretchen if they had made it on to the earlier flight to Turkey. Rob smirked as Gretchen reacted predictably, running off in a panic to tell Meredith, Uchenna and Joyce they had missed securing an earlier connection. Rob had made the earlier flight up, but Uchenna contacted a travel agency, and found there was an earlier flight. In fact, Uchenna’s call secured their spots on a flight that would arrive two hours earlier than Rob and his posse. Ron and Kelly overheard Uchenna talking about a 6:20 A.M. connection, but when they took the information to Rob, he laughed off the possibility of Uchenna having bested him. “He has no clue what he’s talking about,” he scoffed, saying it was like the “blind leading the blind.” Kelly agreed, calling Uchenna a “leech for information.” Saying that Uchenna has “coasted” through the whole game, Rob flat out called him”stupid.” Where were Uchenna, Joyce, Gretchen and Meredith while the all name-calling was going on? Reaching Turkey two hours before them, a fact Rob and Amber didn’t discover until a ferry captain told them they were the third team to cross that day - when they thought they were the first. Karma may bide her time, but when she makes her appearance, she kicks that wimpy Lady Luck to the curb.

    Attack of the Former Supermodel!
    Janice Dickenson may inject Botox more than she eats a meal, but she can still communicate a feeling. When the wannabe models on America’s Next Top Model were challenged to pose with inanimate objects and convey an emotion on the spot, Kahlen was faulted for cuddling an oversized, maraca-like tribal object like a tender baby instead of conveying passion. Tyra, as she often does, called on Janice to demonstrate how a professional model would approach the challenge. “Sure,” chirped Janice, walking over to Tyra and diving in for full-on passionate kiss. From supermodel to porn star in .2 seconds! Thank goodness Tyra and Janice’s large hairdos blocked their faces, keeping the issue of shared tongueage a mystery. “That was scary,” quipped Tyra when she returned to her seat. She was smiling, but there was a quiver in her voice.

    Congratulations, You’re Last!
    By the time Ron and Kelly reached Phil on the mat, they knew they were dead last on this week’s Amazing Race. Ron had watched helplessly from the top of the Rumeli Hisari as Rob and Amber landed on the mat while he was still struggling to finish a Roadblock. So their only hope for survival was that it was a Non-Elimination Leg...and lucky for them, it was. They were given the bad news that they could only continue in the race with the clothes on their back - no money, no power bars, no clean underwear. Then, their garden gnome (won in a previous task) was checked to see if had a lucky graphic that would win them a prize...and lucky for them, it did. Ron and Kelly were floored to learn they had won $20,000 to spend with Travelocity, as well as a night in a luxury suite at the Four Seasons instead of the regular pitstop. At least they can shove a few bars of soap in their pockets to hold them until the end of the race. And as for the Travelocity prize? Let’s just hope they can book separate vacations.

    Your Secret Weapon Sucks
    Ever the overachiever, The Apprentice's Tana thought she could improve on the one of a kind t-shirt, designed by a professional artist, with a secret weapon; The Bedazzler. Straight out of the 80s, The Bedazzler would enable Tana to add a few rhinestones and increase the value of the shirt. Problem was, New York's fashion district seemed to be plum out of this important tool. Never discouraged, Tana called all over and finally found a viable substitute - in Staten Island. Rhinestones couldn't pull out a victory for Net Worth, however, and Tana's butt was on the line when Trump didn't seem impressed with the beads and even more annoyed that they would waste so much time. If it weren't for Alex 'forgetting' his abysmal record, Tana would have been sent home packing, giving her more than enough time to play with her Bedazzler.

    The One That Got Away
    Nearly every season of American Idol has seen the premature eviction of a heavily-favored singer while a less-loved contestant remains in the competition. This season is turning out to be no different as this week we witnessed the ouster of smouldering rocker Constantine Maroulis. Jaws dropped across America when Ryan Seacrest revealed that the Greek hottie was in the bottom three with Anthony and Vonzell. When Ryan sent Vonzell and then Anthony back to their seats, leaving Constantine as the one with the lowest number of votes, loud gasps and booing were heard from the audience, and Paula Abdul predictably turned into a sobbing puddle of goo. Connie took it all in stride and gave an enthusiastic final performance as his comrades rocked out from the sidelines. The camera sure will miss him, but something tells me we haven't seen the last of Mr. Maroulis.

    Two Men and a Loofah
    Its not surprising that it would be difficult to maintain perfect hygeine when living in the jungle for a month. You'd think that winning a reward of soap and shampoo would serve as a subtle hint that it might be shower time, but Survivor Palau's Ian seemed to be suffering from a severe case of dirt denial. Ian's tribemates had all but given up on getting him to bathe, but when host Jeff Probst nearly passed out after receiving a stinky hug from the lanky lad, Ian had a change of heart about his level of cleanliness and decided he'd take a bath after all. Unfortunately, some of the dirt on his back had taken up permanent residence, and try as he might, Ian just couldn't get his monkey arms to reach all of the necessary areas. In a very un-homophobic gesture, Gregg took one for the team and helped Ian scrub his back until he was clean as a whistle. Even though the girls had to laugh and make fun, I'm sure they'll remember Gregg's act of public service should he make it to the final two.

    Maybe She Could Take Up Smoking
    In this world of eating disorders and sensitivity to young women’s feelings about the overly skinny waifs inhabiting the pages of fashion magazines, can you call a model fat? Tyra and Co. have been hinting at Keenyah’s expanding waistline on America’s Next Top Model by casting her in big girl roles, such as “Gluttony.” Keenyah admitted that since starting the show she has gained ten pounds, and that she should be watching her diet...then, we watched as she made three passes through the all-you-can-eat breakfast buffet. Was her best friend trying to tell her something by wearing a “Don’t Feed the Models” t-shirt? Possibly, but there was no question that the production crew was making a jab at her girth when she was assigned the role of an elephant. At judging, Tyra & Co. finally came out with it: they had to retouch Keenyah’s bulging stomach a lot to make her elephant photo viewable. Tyra admitted that she, too, is a big eater, but told Keenyah that she’s paid her dues, and has earned the right to computer enhancement. As a newbie to the industry, Keenyah was advised to starve herself the old-fashioned way.

    Nana Knows Best?
    It's final four stage on The Bachelor, time to take Charlie home to meet the family.
    For Krisily, it was a chance to unveil an unlikely secret weapon, her grandmother.
    Nana won Charlie over instantly with her over the top personality and by the time the butt-to butt dancing was underway Charlie was smitten enough to gift Nana a rose of her own.
    Krisily got a bloom at the rose ceremony, possibly because Charlie overheard Nana's wise words to her granddaughter, "now you've just got to get him into bed".
    Charlie and Krisliy might not be compatible, but clearly Nana's on his wavelength.

    Thanks to the writers who contributed to the article this week. In alphabetical order; Fluff, Hepcat, Miss Filangi & oneTVslave
    Last edited by hepcat; 05-03-2005 at 12:28 PM.
    If you go through a lot of hammers each month, I don't think it necessarily means you're a hard worker.
    It may just mean that you have a lot to learn about proper hammer maintenance.

  2. #2
    FORT Fogey Toby's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Thanks for posting, those are really funny... i liked the Bachelor one the best

    "Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
    Benjamin Franklin.

  3. #3
    RENThead JLuvs's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Commuting for Work
    Great article as always.
    Whenever you see darkness, there is extraordinary opportunity for the light to burn brighter.

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