Each week, our writers come up with some of the best, worst and always memorable moments in reality TV. Enjoy!
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Dinner and a Show!
The two tribes were thrown for another patented twist on Survivor this week when Jeff announced there would be not one, but two tribal councils; one for each tribe. The winning tribe would go to tribal council first and then celebrate voting one of their own off by eating stew as they attended the second tribal council. Wowee, a reward that both sucks and blows! Koror ended up winning the challenge and quickly made Willard the tribes' first casualty. Ulong was up next, and had all but decided to vote off Ibrehem, thanks to his poorly timed choke, until Jeff announced twist number two. Koror was to award immunity to one of the pathetic souls on Ulong, and that lucky pathetic soul was Ibrehem. After the first tie in many seasons, Angie was eventually turfed. A reward worth playing for? Hell, no.
A strong man knows his own weaknesses.
Extensive coverage and good memories mean many viewers knew Rob's weakness too, as he stepped up to down four pounds of sundry cow offal on The Amazing Race.
Rob wasn't about to give us a repeat showing of the form that found him sunk on Survivor by the combination of some rotting farfaru and the steely determination of his small Mormon challenger.
Deciding to duck out of the challenge and take a four hour penalty, the best, if not only hope for Rob and Amber was to ensure at least one other team also backed out of completing the Roadblock.
Deana had barely been presented with her tray of offcuts before Rob had convinced both she and partner Ray that this was a task she couldn't complete.
Meredith and Gretchen also bowed out for good measure and with their penalty not starting until another team arrived, Rob and Amber had the buffer they needed to stay in the game.
His Survivor-esque manipulations work in this game too, even without the likes of dim-witted Rupert and Jenna Lewis on his team.
At least if his scheming gets himself and Amber to the winner's circle this time he'll get half the money.
And She Don't Mean Happy
We were promised a big revelation this week on America's Next Top Model.
Whatever Michelle was hiding was manifesting itself via panic attacks and hours spent holed up in her room alone.
When confronted by Noelle, on a mission to find out exactly what was bothering her, Michelle dissolved into tears and confessed to being gay. **gasp**.
Brandy, dressed in perfectly inconspicuous eavesdropping attire, a sofa throw sarong and sombrero, listened in at the door with Tiffany.
Michelle's worst fear, that people wouldn't accept her, appeared to be about to be realized as the trunky duo headed off, exchanging giggles.
They returned moments later to offer hugs and support and any major drama was averted...for now!
The Fierce Ker-Flump
We all realize that the elimination process on America's Next Top Model must be terribly stressful. After all, you may have to perform a fierce walk wearing nothing but a potato sack, have your photos ripped to shreds (metaphorically, not literally) by a panel of fierce judges, and wait through the fierce, harrowing elimination itself . . . anxiously awaiting to see if you'll move on or be the latest model to disappear from the group photo à la Back to the Future. Yes, it's fierce, my friends. But surely none of the girls would outright collapse under the stressful ferocity, would they? Oh, who am I kidding. Tyra Banks casts this show--anything could happen! As top model candidate Rebecca listened to Tyra's evaluation at the end of the show, the poor girl keeled over without warning and dropped to the floor like a ton of bricks, much to the shock of everyone present. Paramedics were rushed in, and after a brief trip to the hospital, Rebecca turned out to be okay. She suffers from a neurological condition which sometimes causes her to black out, and she says it's more of an inconvenince than anything else. Let's hope for her sake that it doesn't become a habit, eh? Perservering on, Rebecca decides to stay on the show and makes it back just in time to find out that she's safe, fierce, and moving on.
On Wednesday evening's episode of American Idol, we learned that this year's Top 12 are going to join together in song and record a single to benefit the Red Cross. What song will they do, you ask? There will be three different choices, from which viewers can vote for their favorite. Yes, it may sound like a good idea on paper, but once the contestants launched into the first choice, "When You Tell Me That You Love Me," it instantly became obvious that there exists a much more sinister motive . . . it is an evil plot to bankrupt the Red Cross. How else could you explain normally good singers sounding as awful as they did in the lackluster group number? Baffling. Not to mention the arrangement of the song, itself . . . do people tune into a music show to hear sappy pap that no one likes? Not the last time I checked. Let's hope that the next two song choices are a little more inspiring, or it could spell disaster for the free world as we know it.
Bitch to Your Hearts' Content, Boys
Reality television likes to give air time to contestants with the gift of gab - as long as the gab is about their fellow contestants, that is. Lynn and Alex, otherwise known as The Boyfriends on The Amazing Race, seemed bent on earning every precious second possible this week. They started the episode explaining that they aren’t focused on winning the race so much as they are beating Rob and Amber. You could almost read the minds of those faceless CBS executives: Yes! Putting Rob and Amber in the Race was a brilliant move that will bring us much payola! Actual viewers of the Race were more likely engaged in a great big collective eyeroll. But Lynn and Alex weren’t just exercising their jaws. When they found themselves behind the engaged sweethearts in a river raft task, Lynn and Alex were overcome with the desire to prove themselves the “ultimate survivors”, and began paddling hard to overtake Rob and Amber’s substantial lead. Any doubts as to how much the Boyfriends detest Rob and Amber were put to rest as they pulled closer and closer until they passed them at a good clip, finishing the river raft task well ahead. Who can say if they would have shown such paddling prowess against Rupert and his sweet Laura?
Oops, Was that Outloud?
On this week's Nashville Star, Justin David forgot to use his inside voice. During his pre-performance confessional, Justin confidently told the camera that he only needed to give 110% during the finals. The rest of the time he could coast on his talent. After he finished delivering a good version of John Hiatt's "Tennessee Plates," LeAnn called Justin on his strategy. Just what percent was that performance? The judges were clearly not amused. The one who seemed to be the most upset was Anastasia Brown. That would be Anastasia the wife of the head of the record label handing out the recording contract to the winner. Smooth move Justin. We'll see how many of his fan girls vote for him this week and how many see this as an opportunity to exact revenge on that cocky jerk that never called them back after the first date.
And last, but certainly not the least memorable moment of the week...
Did She Take Ur Site Down??
It was an ordinary, calm, peaceful Friday afternoon at The Fort. Some were enjoying a half day from work, the mods sipped their morning tea across the globe, and life pretty much went on as normal for everyone. But hark! Why, suddenly, doth a voodoo skull grace the corner of our hangout? Why doth the screen goeth blacketh? Why doth the fronteth pageth spake forsooth and anon of hacking? With greatness comes a price, my friends--for the Fort was hacked. For approximately five minutes, everyone ran around in sheer panic, but not to worry . . . our brave and fearless leader, John, was able to quickly fix the problem and have the site back up in no time. Huzzah! 'Twas no successful storming of this Fort.
Conspiracy Theory: Remember Stacey, who swore in petty, puerile rage that she'd come back and take ur site down? Maybe she was more sinister than she appeared . . . or perhaps she's simply an idiot.
Thanks to all the writers who contributed - in alphabetical order - fluff, hepcat, Mantenna, Mariner, and Miss Filangi.