Each week, our writers come up with some of the best, worst and always memorable moments in reality TV. Enjoy!
Gay Guys and Straight Guys and Virgins!
After weeks of internet speculation, Fabrice finally got to answer the burning question on this weeks "Men Tell All" special of The Bachelorette, "Are you gay?"
With an entire segment devoted to his performance on the show, which featured many tense differences of opinion between himself and virgin Josh, Fabrice insisted he is not.
A few minutes later, Fabrice invited Josh to imagine being the recipient of one of his, now infamous, French kisses.
Thanks for clearing that up, Fab.
Virgin number two, Jason, also got the chance to speak about the choice to remain chaste, which so puzzles Fabrice.
"My body is not a carnival ride..." claimed Jason, no doubt prompting Fabrice to hastily cancel his order for an "I Rode Jason and Survived" t-shirt.
Not in My House
This week on SuperNanny, Jo was reprimanded by Bill, the man of the house, for her tone of voice, choice of wording and general delivery during the parent briefing time. He assured her that noone came into his house and talked to him in such a manner. It simply was not acceptable. After an uncomfortable moment Jo sidestepped the matter by saying she looked forward to getting started with the new schedule the next day. Bill must have thought that this show was about getting a free nanny without being held accountable for the actions or lack thereof that contributed to the poor behavior of his children. He soon learned that there was more than one way to tame his toddler and tuck in his preteen. Bill seemed to be the one who changed the most as he grew to appreciate the advice of the nanny and more importantly his family.
Bo Knows Idol
Amidst the plethora of sugary pop ballads, one singer shined like a star on Monday’s American Idol. Rocker Bo Bice, complete with long bedraggled hair and a coffee house goatee, came from virtual obscurity to being a front-runner after his spine tingling performance of Drift Away. Showcasing his edgy voice, Bo went a cappella midway through the song, breaking it down and sending many a schoolgirl and stay at home mom into a giggling frenzy. Even the judges were impressed as Paula Abdul likened him to her favorite pair of jeans. Bo added his distinct flavor to the usual grab bag of mundane bubblegum pop and should keep audiences and fans snapping their fingers and tapping their toes for weeks to come.
Do You Believe In Second Chances?
Nathan suggests monopolizing a group of women that both teams are supposed to use in their videos for The Entertainer. His teammates think this is underhanded, and while it may give them an advantage, they’d rather win fairly. Wayne Newton agrees with them, and he’s not going to tolerate that type of thing. He gives Nathan one more chance to stay in the game, however, by telling Nathan to entertain him. Nathan enthusiastically performs a wonderful magic trick. He tells a great story as he magically turns a wet cocktail napkin into thousands of little snowflakes that spring from his hands. Wayne is definitely impressed, and applauds enthusiastically. Then he kicks him off the show anyway, and Nathan takes the walk of shame.
There is No Nilyne in Team
This week's road challenge on The Road to Stardom involved creating a video concept for Missy's protege, Little Brianna. The remaining four contestants were split into teams of two. The first team of Deltrice and Matthew cooperated, worked in concert, and used their brief 20 minutes to come up with a decent concept. The other team didn't do nearly as well. The trouble that has been brewing for weeks between Nilyne and Jessica finally boiled over. Nilyne immediately launched into a concept that involved the twelve year old Brianna trying to get into a party for fourteen to eighteen year olds. When Jessica tried to suggest that might be sending the wrong message, Nilyne brushed her off and shooed her to the side while she taught the extras a number on her own. Their obvious lack of cooperation might have lost them the challenge anyway but screaming at each other so loudly back stage that Mona and Brianna could hear them sealed the deal. It was so bad that Mona came backstage to scold them. Jessica at least realized it was wrong and apologized to Brianna. In the end, Nilyne's lack of remorse and professionalism led to her getting the boot over Deltrice when the two of them were placed in the spotlight.
From Underdog to Best In Show.
After spending much of the first episode whining about her plight, Angie decided to attack the game from a different perspective this week on Survivor.
Sure, being picked as the last female to join a tribe and thus being branded as preferable only to slip-wearing, ditty-singing Wanda has to hurt, but why dwell?
Angie decided the better way was to show her worth to the tribe and turned in a challenge winning performance as Ulong took home this weeks reward, while her more svelt team mates and adversaries often struggled.
Despite her tribe failing in the immunity challenge, Angie still took an active role, while valiantly wrestling with the problems of water pressure and a too-flimsy bra.
She went from boot target last week to vote-free this week.
Now, if we could just get her to wear her as much clothing during challenges as she does during TC.
These Boots Were Made For
What’s the difference between a pair of $9 shoes from Payless and handmade designer shoes? About nine dollars. At least, that’s what competing designer Kara Saun told the judges on the finale of Project Runway. While the other two finalists were using the shoes provided by the show or paying for them out of their budget (in other words, the cheapest shoes they could find), Kara Saun had worked with Dollhouse, a well-known design label, to create shoes specifically for her finale entry. The price? Dollhouse manufactured her designs in China and presented them to her gratis. When the judges noticed her shoe collection - which alone would surely cost in the thousands of dollars - they pointed out that she was in violation of her contract. Kara Saun desperately tried to save her shoes, going so far as to have the design label print out a fake invoice charging $10 dollars a pair. When the producers wouldn’t accept it, she whined that she was being penalized for having better taste than the designers who bought shoes at Payless. The models were allowed to walk the runway in the special shoes, but the judges could not take the footwear into consideration. Except that they may have wondered if the Gucci-like clasps on her dresses were really her own creations, or the results of more gratis-grabbing.
We‘ll Kick You When You‘re Already A Bundle Of Nerves
We expect to see many things on a super sized American Idol results show: endless rehashing of past performances, ambiguous interviews with Simon, Paula and Randy and the occasional I gave it the best I could line from the singers themselves. However, nobody could’ve predicted the execution-style dismissal of Melinda, Sarah, Jared and Judd given at the hand of Ryan Seacrest. Donned in a cloth hood and guillotine at his side, Ryan methodically announced the lowest two male and female losers with nary an ounce of sympathy. Perhaps the most stunned was Melinda who looked like she had been doused with the invisible pot of hot coffee. The cruelest termination goes to Judd Harris. Seated in the front row, Ryan tells the front row to relax, implying to them and the millions of viewers that they were safe. He then moves on to the back row and dutifully gives each contestant their fate. Upon learning that all in the back row were safe, Seacrest does an about face and announces, “Judd, you’re out.” And just like that, the dull blade drops. Maybe FOX didn’t intend for the results to come across so brutal, but if this keeps up the next phrase the producers hear may be American Idol…OUT!
How about a round of slow, sarcastic applause for the creators of Wickedly Perfect? I’m sure they thought stealing formulaic elements of popular reality shows would equal a sure-fire hit. Why else would they incorporate the idea of having the competitors vote each other off a la Survivor for a show that is supposed to be a series of tests to find the country's most talented domestic guru? This week’s episode took the reality show penchant for “twists” to ridiculous heights by inviting back every eliminated contestant for a chance to “earn” their way back onto the show. Instead of rewarding skipped-over talent, it gave the eliminated contestants the chance to show they are sore losers. How else to explain why the only team member whose contribution was praised by the judges in this week’s challenge was voted out by the already-eliminated competitors? And that the deciding vote was cast by Tom, who was booted in the first week and clashed with Darlene in his one and only episode of the show? Way to let sour grapes ruin your talent contest, CBS.
Was That Really Necessary?
In keeping with the theme of the episode, The Apprentice's Donald Trump was accompanied by his very own rap as he checked up on each team's progress in Harlem. This, on it's own, would be bad enough, but the lyrics of the rap were Trump's Rollin' Up. Disturbing, embarrassing, cheesy and tragically unhip are just a few of the words that could be used to descripe this musical interlude. For those that missed it, consider yourselves lucky. For those of us that experienced it, the sad excuse for a rap will be etched in our memories for a long time. The person who could have created such a ditty is either a particularily uncool business man, like Trump, or someone playing a joke on the man himself. Either way, I hope it is never played again. Anywhere.
Many thanks to the writers who contributed to the article this week! In alphabetical order: Feifer, fluff, hepcat, Mariner, Miss Filangi, roseskid, and speedbump.