Each week, our writers come up with some of the best, worst and always memorable moments in reality TV. Enjoy!
Payback's A Yield
Back in Ethiopia, The Amazing Race's Adam & Rebecca yielded Freddy & Kendra in hopes of gaining a bit of time. Their plan backfired as Freddy & Kendra managed to overtake Team Dysfunction that same leg. Rather than take the Yield in stride, Freddy & Kendra were outraged that Adam & Rebecca would do such a thing and took every opportunity to let the pair know how incensed they were. It didn't take a rocket scientist to see that Freddy & Kendra would return the favor if ever given the chance. This week, in Shanghai, the models got their opportunity. Running a narrow lead over both Adam & Rebecca, and perhaps their strongest opponents, Kris & Jon, Freddy & Kendra wasted no time in yielding the younger, weaker team all in the name of revenge. This gave Kris & Jon, who were running dead last at the time, the chance to make up some ground and eventually make it to the pit stop before Adam & Rebecca. While Freddy & Kendra's plan seemed to have worked, it may backfire on them after all. Despite being last on the mat, it was a non-elimination round and the younger pair live to race another day. We hear whine was served with dinner at the pit stop.
Yeah Who Asked You?
It was drama time as the heavily promoted shocking rose ceremony came this week on the Bachelorette. No not the dozens of most dramatic rose ceremonies we've heard endlessly promoted since these shows started way back with Alex Michel. This was shaping up to be real drama. Would Fabrice the Eurotrash serial reality contestant own up to his gay porn past? Would he admit to falling for Jerry or Chris instead of Jen ? Nope, he chickened out, or ABC sent him packing. He told Jen he didn't want to marry her before the rose ceremony and skipped out. Jen was much relieved. I'm sure the guys weren't when this story hit the tabloids. Not only was he annoying, he was a liar and they defended him to the press. Eurotrash-1 ABC-0
I'll Just Bet He Feels Good
Tuesday night's American Idol brought us the vocal stylings of a chap named Dezmond Meeks. Dezmond told us that he can't help but dance when he "feels" a piece of music. I'm not sure what I was expecting from that description, but what we got was a flat-out impersonation of James Brown singing "I Feel Good." From his old-school look, dance moves, and screaming rendition he had James Brown down pat. Simon and Randy were not impressed, but Paula was visibly "feeling" his audition. She exploded when Simon gave him a no, saying the competition needed Dezmond and by golly, she would leave the show if he didn't make it. After a semi-hysterical hissy fit, Randy gave in to Paula and Dezmond got his pass to Hollywood. But the young man was smart enough to realize that his real AI claim to fame was seeing Paula Abdul fighting to keep with tears in her eyes.
No Drama Allowed
Two performers, acting as team leaders on The Entertainer, begin to pick teammates to join them in this week's task. As the choosing continues, Paul eventually finds himself standing alone, until finally he hears his name. He tells us he didn’t mind being called last, and he'll still go out there and perform, but we all know that even as an adult, you can quickly be reminded how it felt to be the skinny, little kid no one wanted on their team. As everyone begins their tasks, Paul returns to the suite alone, where he proceeds to drown his sorrows in Crown Royal. He talks of missing his wife and daughter, then begins to cry. It’s a disturbing sight until the camera zooms out to reveal he is wearing a t-shirt that reads, No Drama Allowed. Not surprisingly, he no longer needs to worry about missing his wife and daughter, as he is sent home.
Austin Scarlett: International Man of Versatility
Austin may not always be flexible with his designs on Project Runway. However, this episode he showed that he is able to adapt in other ways. When Jay's model, Julia, turned out to not only be missing until right before the runway show but to be awol altogether, Jay somewhat desperately pleaded with Austin to model for him. Austin, good sport that he is, put on Jay's winter outfit for female postal workers and worked it up and down the runway much to the amusement of the judges and Heidi Klum. The judges' comments about how Jay's outfit was kind of butch were made extremely amusing by Austin's sashying. If there is such a thing as karma, Austin's display of selflessness will earn him a spot in the final three and a chance to present a collection at fashion week.
I'm the best! Buh-bye.
This week on Sports Illustrated: Swimsuit Model Search we saw the cream of the crop. Shannon, Alicia and Stacey battled it out pose for pose to win one of the two remaining spots in this competition. When asked why they should stay in the game each gave her tearful reply. Stacey went so far as to say that for the first time in her life she feels that she is the best at something. Wake up Stacey! Don't you know statements like that are the kiss of death in reality TV? I guess she did not know as she seemed quite shocked that she was dropped from the competition.
Cocky? Misogynistic? Delusional? Yeah, Sounds Like the Next Superstar to Me
V.I.P.? No, “Nic” really rhymes with something else, and this point was driven home on Wednesday’s episode of The Road To Stardom. After what seemed an unbearably long tenure on Missy’s tour, the arrogant, towel-wielding, slowest-rapper-the-world-has-seen, Nic, finally reached a breaking point with the judges and lost his tour laminate. When the contestants engaged each other in a freestyle battle challenge, Nic brought things to a personal level while squaring off against ex-canoodling partner, Nilyne, topping it off with a dash of heavy vulgarity. Yep, smart move . . . demeaning women with all the ladies around on the judging panel. Though the N-I-C was kicked off the tour alongside the smooth, soulful Marcus, Nic remained delusional to the bitter end declaring that Missy saw his talent, he wouldn’t be surprised if she changed her mind and called him soon, and he would be the next platinum artist. I’m sure you will, Nic. In tus Sueños.
Mutiny on the Bounty
Rules? We don' need no steenking rules. Or so says team Magna Corp on this week's episode of The Apprentice. The team is led by a kitten soft Danny who wants everybody to hold hands and sing kumbaya (probably literally) and work as one. He moves through the task by asking for consensus from his peeps on decision after decision. Everybody tosses in their two cents except for Mike, who tosses in fifty. Actually, he just has the one, offensive cute idea of women-as-ho's handing out coffee and/or stripping somehow in order to lure peeps to the land of the magical, Taster's Choice coffee bean. But he makes it seem like it's really many ideas by repeating it ad nauseum through the entirety of the task. When his fellow peeps are offended don't catch on, he whines and slacks his way through the rest of the task, with little temper tantrums and threats of bodily harm. "I know you are...but what am I?" = his maturity. And his team...got...sick....to death of it. So when they lose, they think, hey...what does the word "exemption" really mean? I mean...exempt from....going home? Or...exempt from.....state taxes? They decide that it's more of a guideline than a rule, and decide to bring this up to Trump in the board room, making the surprisingly cool-yet-unworkable suggestion that baby-Mike go home, despite his exemption. Unfortunately, Trump, Caroline and George say no way, jose, and send the cuddly Danny home instead. But it was worth a try. Hey peeps, don't hate the player, hate the game.
It Could Have Been Worse.
Supernanny Jo Frost lent her expert, commonsense advice to the Orm family this week.
The homework trauma's and suppertime battles of Chandler and Caden were almost eclipsed by the counter scaling, oven touching and disappearing acts of youngest son Declan.
Thankfully Jo was on hand to notice that three year old Declan had gone walkabout once again and set out to find him displaying far more concern than mother Tammy, who always found time to adjust the latest in a startling array of tube tops before casually venturing out to find her child.
After spending a few heart-stopping moments weaving in and out of traffic, Declan did eventually return, clutching a pair of scissors.
Top Moment? At least he wasn't running with them.
Many thanks to the writers who contributed to the article this week! In alphabetical order, Eny, Feifer, Fluff, Hepcat, Mantenna, Mariner, Miss Filangi, Rosekid & Shazzer