Each week, our writers come up with some of the best, worst and always memorable moments in reality TV. Enjoy!
Not Feeling So Randy
Last week on Fear Factor Couples, Randy's ploy of taunting the deodorant-free Bobby and Amy turned out to be perfect. He threw them enough that they were eliminated. This week, Randy's mouth was still moving at full speed. It appeared not to hurt them when Randy and Tina briefly took the lead in the first challenge involving spiders and snakes. The second challenge turned out not to be an elimination. Instead, it involved the opportunity for one couple to steal a prize from another. Randy's motormouth finally cost the two of them. Before they attempted the challenge, Randy dedicated their performance to Dean's and Ashley's daughter. Not too surprisingly, when Dean and Ashley eventually won the challenge, they chose to steal Randy's and Tina's $10,000 and trip worth $2,500 rather than the $20,000 prize also available. Tina may be bringing a roll of duct tape to the next challenge.
The French Don't Love Jerry That Much
Fabrice proved that ineptitude at American sports can work to your advantage. Because he was the least effective player on the winning shirts basketball team, he won a one-on-one date with Bachelorette Jen Schefft. Jerry was not amused by Frenchy. The lack of love was mutual. Although Jen described her date with Frenchy as the least comfortable first date of her life, she kept him around. Presumably she did so because he was able to dish with her like a girlfriend about the remaining bachelors. Being given the last rose did cause him to cry like, well, a girl. We'll see if he's able to get beyond his resentment and Jen's able to get beyond his crying jag next week.
From Oreck to Dirt Devil
On this week's installment of Trading Spouses, Tennessee mom Angie decided that it was high time her high-strung surrogate family, the Hammonds, let their hair down with a "Happy Party." However, 9-going-on-53-year-old daughter Bria seemed more concerned with the meticulous cleanliness of the house than anything else. What is this "happiness" thing you speak of? These decorations might take the paint off the icily white walls! But no matter how tightly Oreck, Swiffer, and Lysol have you in their squeaky-clean grips, you simply cannot suppress a child's spirit . . . and soon Bria was running, playing, shooting silly-string, and laughing with the rest of the kids--both young and old. With the evening culminating in an all-out Jello-throwing war in the backyard and 7-year-old Caleb declaring it the most fun he'd had in a long time, the Hammonds (minus Mama Mia) seem to have learned that it's okay to have a little fun now and then and even *gasp* wear your shoes in the house! Now, as long as the kids don't go out and kill someone with silly-string. . .
Everybody's Kung-Fu Fighting
Going a long way toward proving a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, The Simple Life's Nicole Richie and Paris Hilton learned some basic martial arts techniques from one of the families that hosted them. (The family runs a martial arts school in New Jersey.)
In an ingenious marketing campaign, Nicole and Paris went door-to-door distributing flyers to a fund-raiser concocted by the duo: Pay Nicole and Paris to toss you around a gym mat. An enormous crowd lined up for the privilege.
One young contestant went for the $10 gold package: getting tossed to the ground by tiny Nicole, having his nipples twisted and having his bottom spanked.
"It was the hottest thing that's ever happened to me in my life!" he confessed afterward.
Girl Got Voice!
At 27, Jennifer Todd knew she was pushing the age limits for American Idol. She knew she was pushing the limits in other ways, too, not being the typical chicken-legged half-starved waif commonly found in the world of female pop. But Jennifer's friends told her to give the auditions a try, saying that her voice would be heard and her less-than-perfect package would be forgiven. The judges (Simon, Paula, Randy, and guest judge Kenny Loggins) looked skeptical when she entered the audition room, but once she launched into Alicia Keys' "If I Ain't Got You", her smokey, sultry voice had the judges in her spell. Paula was rendered dreamy-eyed by the performance, and called Jennifer's voice "mesmerizing." Kenny Loggins brought up "an image issue," but the other judges were so enthusiastic in shouting him down that Jennifer should be kicking herself for not auditioning sooner. Mr. Loggins shouldn't be raising image issues or we might be forced to point out that his bedraggled, aging skeletor look is not going to help him sell records.
This week’s episode of the Apprentice 3 saw not one, but two firsts for the NBC franchise. Remodeling and reopening a dilapidated seaside motel in 48 hours proved too daunting a task for Verna of the “book smart” team, Magna Corporation. Exhausted and feeling alienated by her team members, she threw in the towel and abandoned her front desk post mid-shift. With suitcase in tow, Verna left the hotel and wandered the streets until she was tracked down by Trump’s loyal Carolyn, who showed her softer side as she talked some sense into the meltdown mama, returning her to the motel and the seemingly open arms of her fellow Magnii. Equally eager to flush his chances down the crapper was NetWorth Corporation’s project manager, Brian. Having turned all of his teammates against him during the course of the project, Brian saved them the trouble of destroying him by admitting to Trump that he was at fault and should be fired. The Donald couldn’t believe what he was seeing, but he sure believed his ears when Brian showed just how “street smart” he was, dropping several F-bombs in the boardroom to make his point. You know, there are actually people who want to be on this show.
The Devil is in the Details
Powerhouse team Lori and Bolo learned that brute force will take you far on The Amazing Race - but not all the way to finish line. Throughout the season the former wrestlers struggled on some tasks with their heavy, muscular frames; yet drinking a goblet of pig’s blood didn’t phase them a bit. They admitted that they needed to work on reading the clues carefully instead of just plowing ahead like workhorses. On what was to be their last Roadblock, Lori was looking strong as she put her meaty quadriceps to work charging up the stairs to Lion’s Rock. It’s a shame she didn’t take the extra five seconds to read the portion of the clue telling her she needed to a ticket in order to gain entrance at the top. Without a ticket, Lori had to return to the bottom, then face the daunting climb again - did I mention it was over one thousand stairs long? The double climb left them at the end of the pack, unable to recover. Brute force will advance you in the race, but the lesson here is that you must temper it with a little smarts if you want to win.
Is it possible to pity the beautiful?
Finally, the weary designers of Project Runway have had enough drama. Like a moth to a flame, lured time and time again by her fierce runway skills, designer after designer has suffered through the bi-polar blond ambition of model Morgan. In a move that was so cruel that it almost made you feel bad for the 5'10" 103 pound beauty, designer Wendy, picking between the two last models, promised Morgan that the two of them were going to go "above and beyond." Morgan was already thanking Wendy when the sadistic designer turned to give her over-sized button of fate to brunette bombshell Melissa. Bye, bye Morganzilla.
Who’s The Real Winner?
Dreams of a million dollar jackpot might be a little too far fetched, but if you stay at Caesars 24/7, everyone’s a winner. Just ask the two old men at the craps table who were picked up by two talented nubile vixens--each with visions of gambling and free drinks dancing in their heads. It’s quite clear from the side confessionals that both the girls and the old men have two different agendas. The ladies flirt and giggle for the freebies, playfully touching and coaxing the gentleman into a hypnotic trance. The gentleman are reliving the days of yore, dusting off their mojo in hopes for some Lady Luck of their own. While at first glance it appears the young twenty-something’s are taking the old men for a ride, it is in fact the men, who through booze, wads of money and persistence are seen walking off arm in arm with the girls.
Talk about your fish out of water. Imagine ten urban hip hop and rhythm and blues wannabes in a Nashville cowboy bar performing their versions of country songs. It had all the potential to be a total disaster. To the surprise of everyone, including the judges on The Road to Stardom with Missy Elliott, the contestants put in their best overall performance of the show. In particular, three of them, Melissa, Jessica, and Matthew, swam easily upstream through the sea of good old American beer and performed a beautifully harmonized uptempo version of "Mamas Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to be Cowboys." On the other hand, Frank B. floundered. *Ba-dum-ching!* He forgot both the words to a rap he had written to perform as part of "Achy Breaky Heart" and muffed the dance steps. In the end, Frank's lack of versatility sealed his fate while Melissa lived another day despite being the overwhelming nominee of the contestants, including herself, as the weakest performer left on the bus before the performance challenge.
The Art of Stand-up
With bated breath, and immense excitement, The Entertainer began it's debut with Wayne Newton searching these United States for the next big entertainer to dazzle Las Vegas. Marla, a stand-up comic, obviously has spent years honing her craft, perfecting the art of reading an audience, and choosing specific jokes to suit each performance. A quick scan of the audience shows a blur of gray hair. I can't help but feel the show lured in passengers from a tour bus from Barstow with promises of a free drink and a trip to an all-you-can-eat buffet. You can imagine my surprise when this seasoned comic begins her routine with a few gynecology jokes. The ladies in the audience look somewhat embarrassed, and the men? The men are physically squirming in their seats. Not surprisingly, Marla is the first contestant to be given the boot by the infamous Mr. Wayne Newton. At least she'll have a great story to entertain her grandchildren with some day, unless she perfects that all-important knack of reading her audience.
Diamonds Are A Girl's Ex-Best Friend
Not only do the girls get to compete each week for the Supermodel Pass on Sports Illustrated: Swimsuit Model Search but in this episode, it was all about the diamonds. Shannon, one of the models, was afraid of water like it was a piece of evil pizza or chocolate cake. However, she put on her life jacket and won the surfing challenge. She then decided to take the diamond ring and give the second prize, a diamond necklace, to Jenna. Of course, someone got jealous, namely Stacy. She was convinced that she deserved the diamonds much more than anyone there. The catfight that ensued was edited out of the episode.
The terrific writers that contributed to this week's article are, in alphabetical order; Hepcat, Mantenna, Mariner, OneTVslave, Phat32, Rosekid, Silverstar, Speedbump & Spegs