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Thread: Top Reality TV Moments for the Week of January 9 - 16th

  1. #1
    Evil Slash Crazy Miss Filangi's Avatar
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    Top Reality TV Moments for the Week of January 9 - 16th

    It's the return of the Top Moments of the week in Reality TV!

    Each week, our writers come up with some of the best, worst and always memorable moments in reality TV. Enjoy!

    Even CBS Can Only Take So Much
    Pure evil took on Human form in the premiere and apparent finale of "The Will". Penny Long , an Anna Nicole wannabe without the ditzy charm dragged her family on air to supposedly fight survivor style over a ranch in Kansas . The winner was to receive the ranch & all the trimmings when Bill, her much older rich hubby kicked off to the big money safe in the sky. The problem was, the ranch wasn't worth much, and was the middle of what they considered nowhere (Kansas). None of them actually wanted the damn thing thing, but were all on TV in some kind of whacked out narcissistic dream starring Penny. This real life family made the Dynasty crew look like they belonged on Sesame Street.What happened to a good old fashioned media whore that only drug themself through the mud? It was so incredibly bad that CBS has apparently pulled the plug after a record setting one show. Now that's the bottom of the reality TV barrel folks.

    Friends Don't Let Friends Drive Drunk
    How bizarre can The Surreal Life get? The fourth installment of the series got off on a wildly unsettling note, and I'm not talking about Chyna Doll. Someone take the mini-bar key away from Mini-Me! The sight of a sloshed Verne Troyer motoring around butt-nekkid on his Jazzy scooter was simultaneously disturbing and laughable. If he continues to take potty breaks in the corners of rooms, it looks like some newspapers on the floor will be a necessity.

    The Phoenix Rises From the Ashes
    This week on Extreme Makeover: Home Edition the Dore family recovered from a devastating fire as Ty's team designed a home to bring this family together again. The four grateful ladies could not have anticipated the support they received from their community. Even the Navy got involved providing 165 extra pairs of hands. They now have a lovely home that includes a separate wing that will become The Phoenix Bed and Breakfast which has been a long time dream of the family. The contractors and the community raised over $70,000 for the three daughters' education. Cheers to all who played a part in restoring this family.

    Boston in the House - Or Not
    What does it take to make it as a hip hop artist? A cute face, a perky little rap? The ability to rhyme? One hopeful found that in the school of Missy, there’s a few more requirements on ”The Road to Stardom with Missy Elliott”. Heather, a white girl from Boston, thought she had what it takes because, as she told us, everything that comes out of her mouth is “real,” and that’s hip-hop. Dig? Too bad Missy wanted a little more detail. The hip hop maven gave Heather a pop quiz on old school rappers, but little miss “real” had never heard of Big Daddy Kane or even (gasp!) Salt-N-Pepa. (All those PSA’s for nothing!) Missy gave her one more chance to prove her commitment to hip hop, asking Heather to showcase her style by rapping a Jay-Z song. Poor Heather. She couldn’t come up with nary a “what more can I say?” to save her skin, so she was bounced off the bus. For real.

    Bunch of Losers
    Call it Extreme Makeover for the do-it-yourself crowd. The first Biggest Loser was crowned this week, redefining the term "Loser" forever, and inspiring millions of chubberinos across the nation to get up and dust off the treadmill. Or at least consider it. These twelve contestants lost a combined 750 pounds in a six month period, with no lipo, no surgery, nada. Just a helluvalotta willpower and a wholelotta coaching. Finally, a show that proves you don't have to have DDD breasts and fluorescent white veneers to be smokin' hot.

    Every Whiner Has His Day
    Since the beginning, The Amazing Race's Rebecca has been doing most of the heavy lifting for her team. When Rebecca and Adam decided to go for the Fast Forward underwater, it appeared to be smooth sailing, despite Adam's familiar whines. While Rebecca, as usual, had no problem completing the task, Adam immediately panicked, convinced his massive head couldn't reach the lever, before he was even submerged underwater. As Adam's situation was being attended to, Rebecca managed to make it to the underwater cage to retrieve the clue. Unfortunately, the two were told that they would not be able to win the fast forward unless Adam could at least walk to the cage and back again. After some coaching from his stronger, wiser partner, Adam managed to find the courage and strength deep within him, deep, deep within him, to complete the task and finally earn a little bit of respect from Rebecca.

    Eat At Your Own Risk
    On the latest episode of Sports Illustrated: Swimsuit Model Search, screams were heard in the kitchen of the mansion where the models reside. What happened, you may ask. Perhaps the stove caught on fire? Maybe they realized they ran out of protein bars? No, something far more disturbing happened. Two lovely boxes of pizza were sitting on a counter top. After several minutes of deliberation on whether it was safe to even touch the boxes, some of the ladies grabbed a slice and enjoyed it. No information is available on the condition of the models that ate the pizza, other than they are still alive and breathing.

    I'm So Cool I Fainted on National TV
    It's New Years , so it must be time for another round of the Bachelor/Bachelorette franchise. This time it stars retread Jen Schefft who walked off temporarily into the sunset with Firestone heir Andrew after Bachelor 3. After a well publicised split, Jen's back to hand out the roses to 25 of her own bachelors. A saavy Jen worked the room at her introduction to the guys that included a wide mix of eager singletons. At the first rose ceremony one of them who had previously shared with us he was buff and liked to wear "tight clothes", took a dive for the carpet in an apparent faint. Not one of the others reached out a helping hand - not even the host , and the tactic did not even score the poor loser a rose in end . We hope it it wasn't on purpose, but who knows in reality TV?

    The Bride Wore Teal
    This week’s Project Runway designers were faced with a conundrum: how do you design a wedding dress for a client with bad fashion sense? If you’re lucky, your client will take your advice to ditch the puffy mutton-chop sleeves and let you work in peace. Two designers decided to please the client even though they had abysmal taste. Nora’s “client” (each runway model from the show got to pretend to be a bride-to-be) wanted the dress she had always dreamed of since she was a little girl - which hasn’t been that long, since she’s only 16. The result was a dress you might find at a bridal warehouse in the garment district of any large metropolis - and a boot from the judges. Austin Scarlett - who has already designed several pretty, feminine dresses for the show - took a risk that fell flat with the judges. His model didn’t want a traditional white dress, but was her dream dress bright teal, complete with miniskirt and discordant fabrics twisted into an ugly tail for a train? We’ve all seen runway fashion that would never play in Peoria but come on...a teal wedding dress? Even Frankenstein would be raising a brow if his bride showed up at the altar in that getup.

    Many thanks to the following writers who contributed to the list this week, Eny, Feifer, Hepcat, Miss Filangi, oneTVslave, Silverstar, Texicana
    If you go through a lot of hammers each month, I don't think it necessarily means you're a hard worker.
    It may just mean that you have a lot to learn about proper hammer maintenance.


  2. #2
    FORT Fogey
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    Yay! Hilarious, as usual. I always like reading this to read the funny moments on shows (such as The Will) that I could never spend my time actually watching. Excellent!

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    FORT Fogey AIWANNABE's Avatar
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    I was wondering when the Top Moments were coming back! Classic!

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    Go Bruins! Qboots's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AIWANNABE
    I was wondering when the Top Moments were coming back!
    Me too! Thanks Miss F!
    "I'm telling you - it's a madhouse out there. I feel like Charlton Heston waking up in the field and seeing the chimp on top of the pony." ~ Dennis Miller

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    Staying Afloat speedbump's Avatar
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    What a tasty compilation. Excellent high/lowlights!
    You got to cry without weeping. Talk without speaking. Scream without raising your voice.- U2

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    Soccer Kicks Balls cali's Avatar
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    They were all great, and had me laughing, but I feel the need to quote the following:

    After several minutes of deliberation on whether it was safe to even touch the boxes, some of the ladies grabbed a slice and enjoyed it. No information is available on the condition of the models that ate the pizza, other than they are still alive and breathing.
    "Rice is great when you're hungry and want 2,000 of something' -- Mitch Hedberg

  7. #7
    FORT Fogey
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    Great job everyone! I'm so excited that the top reality tv moments are back!!!

    Wooooooohoooooo!


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    FORT Fogey Super Goten's Avatar
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    It's great to relive the funniest reality tv moments!
    Favorite Reality Tv Quote Ever:
    "You have to do it. You have to accomplish your dreams." - Charla, The Amazing Race 5

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    What's The 411? Fanatic277's Avatar
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    Excellent job everyone!

  10. #10
    Free Yourself! E-Daddy's Avatar
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    nice job with the moments!
    Get Fantasia's self titled CD, in stores now!!!

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