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Thread: Who's Your Daddy - 01/03/2005 Recap

  1. #11
    FORT Fogey captain's Avatar
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    I watched about 2 mins of the show and I have to admit....

    The recap was much better

    Maybe the next "new" reality show will be one of the FORT'ers recappers just typing instead of the show....now let's be honest it would be funny
    There's no place like home!

  2. #12
    That's all folks! Unklescott's Avatar
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    I'm dying here. The tears are flowing. There's just to much to even try to quote. I swore I wouldn't watch this show but now I'm glad I did. Cheesy tv at its best. Great job ladies. My hat's off to you both.
    I'm honored to be quoted in such a fine recap. Mariner did give an assist in that line.

  3. #13
    Wonky snarkmistress Lucy's Avatar
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    Well actually you can see this scenario play out practically every day on the Maury Povich show, but those baby-mommas trying to pin down the right baby-daddy to pay the child support aren’t doing it for $100,000, as they’re just on tv for the year long supply of Rice-a-Roni I fear.
    You guys did a great job with the ultimate bottom-of-the-barrel show.
    It's such a fine line between stupid, and clever. -- David St. Hubbins

  4. #14
    JR.
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    Great job ladies, better you than me

  5. #15
    Cy Young 2010 Mariner's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Unklescott
    I'm honored to be quoted in such a fine recap. Mariner did give an assist in that line.
    Aw shucks, Unk! All I did was give a tiny editorial suggestion. The line is all you.

  6. #16
    Retired! hepcat's Avatar
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    Let’s hope that Trista and Ryan’s offspring get the fireman voice, as I’d hate to think of that gene passing along.
    Great job, girls Ladies! What an odd, odd idea for a show, but it produced a laugh-tastic recap.
    You've gotta hustle if you want to earn a dollar. - Boston Rob

  7. #17
    Shark Week! dagwood's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by duckgirl
    TJ gasps and cries and talks all breathy and squeaky in the most horribly inappropriate dress I’ve ever seen to meet your own father in. Hey dad, how are things? How do you like my gigantic fake breasts? You can see them really well in this dress! TJ has the most annoying voice this side of Trista from The Bachelorette. Now if any of the guys has that voice, we’ll have our man.

    TJ asks them uncomfortable questions, like “what kind of freak would go on a show like this and try to get money by convincing me that you’re my father when really you’re not?” Members of the Hairclub for Men, that is a certainty. Say, isn’t that Cy Sperling standing at the 3rd table?

    Carl is doing the mashed potato, or trying to start his lawn mower, or he’s been stabbed in the back (for all the Airplane! Fans), but he’s definitely in pain.

    Scott goes first and presents TJ with a stuffed black lab toy, because TJ has a German Shorthair and that’s a dog and so is a lab.

    TJ is hugging the picture and resting her head on it. It looks like she’s realizing she’s on a FOX show called Who’s Your Daddy and is trying to papercut her head off.


    Wonderful, just wonderful.
    He who laughs last thinks slowest

    Maybe we should chug on over to namby pamby land where we can find some self confidence for you, you jackwagon!

  8. #18
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    Thanks to the re-cappers for paying the ultimate price and actually watching this horrendous excuse for a show. It is wrong in so many ways on so many levels that is it impossible to even know where to begin. Though I must say the recap was hilarious. What will Fox think of next? Who Wants To Actually Die From Embarassment From Being On A Tacky Fox Reality Show?

  9. #19
    Courtesy and Goodwill Mantenna's Avatar
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    Oh my gosh, ladies . . . hilarious, hilarious job. Thanks for taking one for the team--this was such a bizarro premise for a show. However, you turned it into something truly side-splitting. Brava!

    Quote Originally Posted by LG. & Ducky
    In a two-toned dye job that can only be described as “Modern Pepe LePew” Finola has joined the ranks of illustrious hosts of terrible reality tv shows like Mark L Walberg, JD Roberto, and Monica Lewinski. Insert your own cigar joke here.

    Ah yes, suspend your disbelief with me as the acting on this show is Shatner-esque, but what do you expect, this is supposed to be reality. Right, like these situations ever happen. Well actually you can see this scenario play out practically every day on the Maury Povich show, but those baby-mommas trying to pin down the right baby-daddy to pay the child support aren’t doing it for $100,000, as they’re just on tv for the year long supply of Rice-a-Roni I fear.

    And you thought Maury had cornered the market on locating lost relatives with DNA tests. Hopefully no one starts jumping up and down and screaming “I told you! I TOLD YOU!!” Oh, Montel does this too. Well I know Maury isn’t sharing that market with Jerry Springer, as he never springs for DNA tests, as he just lets people shout it out and then ends the show with silly platitudes. Do you think we’ll hear any silly platitudes tonight?

    TJ gasps and cries and talks all breathy and squeaky in the most horribly inappropriate dress I’ve ever seen to meet your own father in. Hey dad, how are things? How do you like my gigantic fake breasts? You can see them really well in this dress!

    Why don’t we steal a page from Reservoir Dogs or Mr. Personality and name them after colors? Or name them after their distinguishing features, like California Teeth over there?

    TJ goes to a “cocktail party” with the men where they stand around hightop tables in pairs sipping highballs while TJ asks them uncomfortable questions, like “what kind of freak would go on a show like this and try to get money by convincing me that you’re my father when really you’re not?” Members of the Hairclub for Men, that is a certainty. Say, isn’t that Cy Sperling standing at the 3rd table?

    They have insightful conversations where TJ discovers that she and Carl both like M&M candies. This reminds me of the episode of Friends where Phoebe meets her real mom and they realize that they both like the Beatles. What are the odds of that? It’s amazing, really. An incredible journey. For crying out loud, it's M&Ms. It's not like he expressed a strong attachment to NECCO wafers.

    The truth is out. Darth Vadar is TJ’s father. Darth tells us that not only is he TJ’s father, but that he was jealous having to meet his daughter while surrounded by these seven other guys. Dad, I am with you. Seven guys your age who keep saying how much they’d like to have their DNA in your daughter had got to be quite disconcerting.

    These guys may not even know about the financial incentive and may just be appearing on the show for the free eats, as they’re all up to their elbows in comped food. Perhaps they thought they were in line at Old Country Buffet instead of appearing on a reality tv show.

    TJ gets all excited because one of the men eats ice cream and she likes ice cream. Hon, my cocker spaniel likes ice cream too. Doesn’t mean she’s my long lost father. LG’s dad likes herring and pickled pigs feet. Let’s just say not all food tastes are inherited.

    Nope, she’s all choked up because she loses the chance to win the full $100,000 and can only win $75,000 if her dad isn’t in the half that she thinks, making this the most dramatic gazebo ceremony ever! Seriously FOX, a gazebo? I guess it’s more appropriate than these fake fathers giving her a pearl necklace. Finola tells us for the first of many times that she cannot eliminate her dad. I didn’t realize that actual elimination was an option. That would only be possible if Schwartzenegger was the host of this show. I can picture that now: “Guess right, or your Dad dies.” Now THAT would be some real drama in primetime.

    I’d say that this is the whitest group of dancers I’d seen since, well, the last time I went to a club in Minnesota or Canada. Theses guys have some moves, eh? All they need is some nifty flannel shirts. Carl is doing the mashed potato, or trying to start his lawn mower, or he’s been stabbed in the back (for all the Airplane! Fans), but he’s definitely in pain. As are the viewers, from laughing at them.

    But no, at elimination time, something in Ducky’s house breaks. My drunkenly written notes insisted that I tell you something broke, and it was a heating vent that fell out of the ceiling. So there you go. Drunk me will be happy.

    Scott goes first and presents TJ with a stuffed black lab toy, because TJ has a German Shorthair and that’s a dog and so is a lab. TJ is duly impressed as labs are really her favorite breed of dog. I’m sure her German Shorthair is thrilled to hear that.

    As we go to commercial break, TJ is hugging the picture and resting her head on it. It looks like she’s realizing she’s on a FOX show called Who’s Your Daddy and is trying to papercut her head off.
    So funny!

  10. #20
    Staying Afloat speedbump's Avatar
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    They have insightful conversations where TJ discovers that she and Carl both like M&M candies. This reminds me of the episode of Friends where Phoebe meets her real mom and they realize that they both like the Beatles. What are the odds of that? It’s amazing, really.


    Ok, I'm a bit late on commenting. I didn't watch the show, but I LOVED your recap. Funny from start to finish. Loved the PH references. Great job Ducky and LG!
    You got to cry without weeping. Talk without speaking. Scream without raising your voice.- U2

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