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Thread: 11/08 Recap: The Swan 2 "The Double-D Avenger"

  1. #11
    Picture Perfect SnowflakeGirl's Avatar
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    From the Russ Myer reference in the title, to the psycho-fan closer, I loved every line of this hilarious recap.

    Quote Originally Posted by Texicana
    Dearest Amanda,
    Please, you misunderstand me---I'm not a stalker, really! I asked for that bikini photo only in the interest of my work. I'm a member of the press now. I know you've read my recaps, my little chickadee, and

    Oh! *clicks over to NotePad* Sorry about that.

    It's time for Miss Byram to grace us with her presence...She ruins it all by talking, though, so let's move along to this week's vanity victims.

    Her tale of woe progresses through photographic proof of a pudgy teenhood, psyche damage from an bad news ex-boyfriend, and a weigh in of 240lbs. Why it's almost a Tricia Yearwood song!

    She claims she wants the program to teach her daughter about self esteem. Somehow, I think the lesson will be lost on the kid.

    "a sad face around her belly button" he's got to lop off. Okay, now that's just bizarre. What's he gonna do, replace it with the internationally recognized yellow smiley face?

    There's a grody shot of her exposed denticles, resembling for all the world a movie still from Jaws.

    You little shark obsessed chica, you!

    Christina cracks a smile, and demands DD mammaries. Dubrow has severe reservations, citing that they will be too big for her frame. She won't budge. Neither will her chest, after all is said and done.

    Welcome to the Ta-Ta Tribe

    She's oddly pinata-like. I expected Smarties and gumballs to start flying out of her when Amanda patted her on the back.

    Christina is still glum looking and can't seem to hold her arms flush against her body due to her chestworks.

    Amanda is continually accosted and hugged by Erica, much to my chagrin. Back off, lady. I know where you live!
    Brava Bellissima!

    P.S. Melissa Joan Hart has a glass eye?
    Sending good vibes and warm fuzzies your way..., SnowflakeGirl
    All New AMERICA'S TOP MODEL Recaps! Premiere Pt. 1 & Pt. 2, Ep. 3, Ep. 4, Dinah's Dynamite Ep. 5, Ep. 6, Ep. 7, Ep. 8, Ep. 9, Ep. 10, Ep. 11, Finale
    Relive every beautiful moment of America's Next Top Model...Click here for links to prior season recaps & interviews.

  2. #12
    Rude and Abrasive Texicana's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SnowflakeGirl

    P.S. Melissa Joan Hart has a glass eye?
    It's been rumored, but I think it's just a lazy eyelid

    Resume with the praise! (just kidding! ) Thanks for taking the time to read and comment everyone!
    " I look like Nigella Lawson with a $#*!ing hangover."

  3. #13
    Rude and Abrasive Texicana's Avatar
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    Here's the "after" pictures of Christina Ozuma:

    [IMG]images/img/ChristinaOafter.jpg[/IMG]

    and pageant goer Erica Moore:

    [IMG]images/img/EricaMafter.jpg[/IMG]
    " I look like Nigella Lawson with a $#*!ing hangover."

  4. #14
    Picture Perfect SnowflakeGirl's Avatar
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    On Christina: It's Hedwig!

    On Erica: Holy Machaca Burrito, I know what I'm gonna hold onto for flotation devices if the plane goes down!
    Sending good vibes and warm fuzzies your way..., SnowflakeGirl
    All New AMERICA'S TOP MODEL Recaps! Premiere Pt. 1 & Pt. 2, Ep. 3, Ep. 4, Dinah's Dynamite Ep. 5, Ep. 6, Ep. 7, Ep. 8, Ep. 9, Ep. 10, Ep. 11, Finale
    Relive every beautiful moment of America's Next Top Model...Click here for links to prior season recaps & interviews.

  5. #15
    daydream believer oneTVslave's Avatar
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    I believe those just may be the scariest breast implants I have ever seen on this show. I think they look awwwful, especially crammed into that dress.
    Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.
    - Albert Einstein

  6. #16
    Rude and Abrasive Texicana's Avatar
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    And that's not the lady with the DD's either.
    " I look like Nigella Lawson with a $#*!ing hangover."

  7. #17
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    Sheesh, did Erica ask for the Barbie treatment or what??

    (I hate pink! argh my eyes!)

  8. #18
    Scrappy Spartan Broadway's Avatar
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    *note to self: do not take pink bikini to Bermuda*

  9. #19
    Premium Member dagwood's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Texicana
    She claims she wants the program to teach her daughter about self esteem. Somehow, I think the lesson will be lost on the kid.
    This really bothered me. You don't teach a kid that self esteem is based on looks. That is the wrong message to give to little girls. Self esteem has to come from within.

    Great recap, Texi.
    He who laughs last thinks slowest

    #oldmanbeatdown - Donny BB16

  10. #20
    Courtesy and Goodwill Mantenna's Avatar
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    Woo hoo, Texie! What a fine, fine recap. You're doing a wonderful job--keep up the hilarious work!

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