From the Russ Myer reference in the title, to the psycho-fan closer, I loved every line of this hilarious recap.
Brava Bellissima!Originally Posted by TexicanaDearest Amanda,
Please, you misunderstand me---I'm not a stalker, really! I asked for that bikini photo only in the interest of my work. I'm a member of the press now. I know you've read my recaps, my little chickadee, and
Oh! *clicks over to NotePad* Sorry about that.
It's time for Miss Byram to grace us with her presence...She ruins it all by talking, though, so let's move along to this week's vanity victims.
Her tale of woe progresses through photographic proof of a pudgy teenhood, psyche damage from an bad news ex-boyfriend, and a weigh in of 240lbs. Why it's almost a Tricia Yearwood song!
She claims she wants the program to teach her daughter about self esteem. Somehow, I think the lesson will be lost on the kid.
"a sad face around her belly button" he's got to lop off. Okay, now that's just bizarre. What's he gonna do, replace it with the internationally recognized yellow smiley face?
There's a grody shot of her exposed denticles, resembling for all the world a movie still from Jaws.
You little shark obsessed chica, you!
Christina cracks a smile, and demands DD mammaries. Dubrow has severe reservations, citing that they will be too big for her frame. She won't budge. Neither will her chest, after all is said and done.
Welcome to the Ta-Ta Tribe
She's oddly pinata-like. I expected Smarties and gumballs to start flying out of her when Amanda patted her on the back.
Christina is still glum looking and can't seem to hold her arms flush against her body due to her chestworks.
Amanda is continually accosted and hugged by Erica, much to my chagrin. Back off, lady. I know where you live!
P.S. Melissa Joan Hart has a glass eye?