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Thread: 11/01 Recap: The Swan 2 "The $34,600 Woman"

  1. #11
    daydream believer oneTVslave's Avatar
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    Fabulouso!! Great debut, Texi! A perfect blend of snark and story.

    Can't wait to read the rest of your recaps, as this show sometimes makes me a litte queasy as well...
    Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.
    - Albert Einstein

  2. #12
    FORT Fogey CharlieBug's Avatar
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    I'm not a fan of the show, but I can tell I am already a fan of your recaps! Great job, Texi! I'll be tuning in to your recaps from here on out. Thanks for the laughs!

  3. #13
    hellooooooo sher's Avatar
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    great recap, texi!

  4. #14
    Peeking In Duxxy's Avatar
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    Fabulous first effort Texie!! I'm not a fan of the show (although I have watched once) you caught the essence in a nutshell. I can't wait to read next week
    "Education's purpose is to replace an empty mind with an open one."

  5. #15
    all hot air Ana Bannana's Avatar
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    Well done Texi!! I watched the show and you have captured it better than I could have expected. I am not sure I will be tuning in again, as it is becoming too predictable. The person with the biggest sob story seems to be the one chosen for the pageant instead of the person with the most dramatic physical transformation. Last night's episode iced it for me. :nono Bad move flock of Swans...

  6. #16
    Rude and Abrasive Texicana's Avatar
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    I agree, AnaBanana...Lorri had the better transformation, by a mile!
    " I look like Nigella Lawson with a $#*!ing hangover."

  7. #17
    Picture Perfect SnowflakeGirl's Avatar
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    Beautiful debut, Texie!

    Quote Originally Posted by Texicana
    I'm not Amanda Byram. I don't have her beauty spot. Heck, I'm not even Irish.

    What follows is a fromaggy montage featuring the show "experts", who are most proficient at giving themselves accolades.

    To add to her burden, she seems to have married the Incredible Hulk, a complete brute with anger management problems.

    But hold on to your love-handles!

    Lorri resorted to stuffing food in pillowcases, much like hamsters and their cheek pouches.

    It'll be the most dramatic rose ceremony yet...erm, I mean, most dramatic *makeover* yet.

    She's left looking like she lost a few rounds with Laila Ali.

    Gina is in a severe funk, most likely from realizing she got all this bogus surgery done for the sake of TV ratings. In true Swan fashion, the best cure for what ails her is a visit from a complete stranger, former contestant Merline.

    Lorri is on her own, no fame 'ho visit for her.

    has a penchant for striking a Price is Right model "arm up in the air" pose.

    Amanda forces a rictus that she hopes passes for a smile, and coaxes her up to the curtained mirror.

    Desiccated winner Gina keeps telling her family and friends that she can't believe she's going to the pageant. For what it's worth, I can't believe it either, honey.
    I am no fan of this show (in fact it gives me the howling fantods on multiple levels), so it is a testament to your writing skill that you managed to write a recap of it that I could actually enjoy. You have some very delicious turns of phrase and a great eye for detail.

    Brava, bella! Look forward to more of your writing in the future.
    Sending good vibes and warm fuzzies your way..., SnowflakeGirl
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  8. #18
    Courtesy and Goodwill Mantenna's Avatar
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    Woo hoo, Texie! A stunning debut; I'm so proud! Like Snowy, I'm not too big on this show, but luckily I won't even have to watch with great recaps like this to follow, instead! Brava, mi amiga!

    Quote Originally Posted by Texie
    Gentlemen, We Can Rebuild Her

  9. #19
    What's The 411? Fanatic277's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Texicana
    Gentlemen, We Can Rebuild Her

    What follows is a fromaggy montage featuring the show "experts", who are most proficient at giving themselves accolades.

    To add to her burden, she seems to have married the Incredible Hulk, a complete brute with anger management problems.

    Lorri resorted to stuffing food in pillowcases, much like hamsters and their cheek pouches.

    She's left looking like she lost a few rounds with Laila Ali.

    Amanda forces a rictus that she hopes passes for a smile, and coaxes her up to the curtained mirror.

    Desiccated winner Gina keeps telling her family and friends that she can't believe she's going to the pageant. For what it's worth, I can't believe it either, honey.
    Excellent debut Texie, I don't watch the show either but I'll definitely be sure to catch the recaps!

  10. #20
    Rude and Abrasive Texicana's Avatar
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    Once again, thanks everyone! I hope I can keep churning 'em out
    " I look like Nigella Lawson with a $#*!ing hangover."

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