Star Dates 01/12 - Phyllis Diller
Better Known As: Venerable stand-up comic with trademark cackle
Astrological Sign: Cancer
Status: Two-time divorcée (First Husband, Sherwood Anderson Diller, 1939-1965; Second Husband, Warde Donovan, 1965-1975)
Longtime Fictional Husband: Fang, a frequent target in her act
Hair: "I call it blonde, but at the beauty parlor, they say white."
Pacemaker: One, installed in 1999
Drinks? Social drinker: "Two martinis, straight up with an olive."
Spit takes? "Never. I'm not one of those kind of jokers."
Meet the Real Me: "I am a kind person. In fact, kindness is my religion. I treat everybody the same. And I smile at everybody and try to make them have a moment of pleasure."
What the Real Me Is Looking for in the Real You: "He'd have to be terribly rich. [Trademark cackle.] No, he'd have to be cultured, very well educated, well spoken, well dressed, total gentleman, sense of humor--and that's about it."
In My Bedroom, You'll Find: "Twenty-five pillows, a CD player, a record player, a tape player, three easy chairs [and] a concert harpsichord," which, yes, she plays.
Music That Puts Me in the Mood: "I like piano jazz, gentle piano jazz--Bill Evans is best."
Music That Puts Fang in the Mood: "You've got to remember that Fang is a myth and does not exist."
What I Tell People Who Think Fang Does Exist: "[I say,] he's at home in his cage."
Best Movie to Watch in Front of a Roaring Fire: Laura, the 1944 noir classic starring Gene Tierney
Best Type of Movie to Watch--Period: "I prefer funny movies--love funny movies. My favorite was Airplane!"
Turn-Ons: "Great piano jazz or terrific art."
Turn-Offs: "Anything that's gauche, bad taste, clichés, sloppy dressers."
Celebrity I'd Like to Date: "I guess Harrison Ford. He's all man. He's gorgeous. He's not a pretty boy."
Celebrity I Have Dated: Andy Warhol. Really. They attended the opening of a Broadway show. "It was black tie. From the waist up, he had the black tie--the whole thing. [From the waist down], jeans and sneakers. As long as he was sitting down in the theater, it looked okay."
Hobby: "Playing gin--I've invented a game called Diller Gin [in which deuces are wild], and I play every day."
True or False: There Isn't a Nightclub on the Planet That I Haven't Told a Joke In: "Probably very few. Unless they're in a really teeny town. I played everywhere...Any place where they speak English."
Best Way to Wear a Feather Boa: "Around your neck."
Best Place to Store Your Feather Boas: "I have a boa closet. I have one closet devoted only to feather boas. And I have every color that you could ever imagine."
Best Place to Store Your Fright Wigs: "I have a wig room, where there must be maybe 200 wigs."
My Little Secret: "When my mother was pregnant with me, they thought [I] was a tumor."