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Thread: True Life: I'm Obese

  1. #91
    daydream believer oneTVslave's Avatar
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    Amy, glad to hear things are going well. You must be elated every day at the things that are easier to do, now that you have lost some weight.

    It sounds like you have the right attitude. It took a lot of guts to go on television- you had to know that people would say all kinds of things. And it is even easier for people to make judgemental comments on the internet where they can hide behind their anonymity. But it really doesn't matter what others think, but how you think of yourself. The fact that you are addressing your problem and making progress has got to feel great!!!

    By the way, I am from Georgia too.
    Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.
    - Albert Einstein

  2. #92
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    Amy, I continue to pray for you and your husband. Just think of all the people you have helped and continue to help with your raw honesty! You have been a blessing to me & others. Remember this is your testimony--there is nothing put on you that you can not handle. .....Jonelle

  3. #93
    FORT Newbie Starby's Avatar
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    I was a chubby kid -- but when I turned thirteen, I started after school sports. With no car, I walked everywhere with my friends. I ate very lightly, because I was so busy with my social life-- and I looked great. I always looked older (ie I looked 18 when I was 15) -- and guys were always hitting on me, whistling at me, opening doors for me, stopping me in the grocery store to ask for my number, leaving notes on my windshield.

    Fast forward to when I was 20 -- on my own, no support group, working two jobs, and realizing that I couldn't go to college after all. I became depressed, and became fatter and fatter. I saw that I was fat, and that depressed me, and when I was depressed, I ate.

    Things got better -- with my job anyway. Now have a good paying job. I'm 28 years old -- and still fat. The only guys who hold doors open for me now are 8 year olds trying to be helpful. The only whistles are when I visit the parrots at the pet store.

    I'm obsessed with food. First thing in the morning, I wonder what I have to eat in the house. Is there chocolate? All day, there is this crazy running commentary in my head: "I'm going to go to Burger King later . . .No, you fat pig, do you want to be fat the rest of your life? Did you see the size of that lady at the store -- you're almost that size! But I'll just have a candy bar then . . .Starby, you need to stop being stupid -- you're a smart girl -- surely you can muster up some freakin' willpower . . ." On and on. I have this conversation as I circle 'round the restaurant parking lot, hoping I'm going to just leave. I avoid the candy aisle at the store, only to stop at a gas station on the way home to guilitily buy a chocolate bar. I dieted all day today, and then on the way home, had a "quick" 2 cheeseburgers and fries, telling myself that I would drag myself to the gym after all. (Obviously I haven't)

    What am I going to eat today. What should I REALLY be eating? Who will I eat with? Where will I eat? If no one will eat with me, how 'bout I just get a To-Go order from TGIF's (because some places you just can't eat alone).

    I force myself to stay awake, telling myself: "You are not going to bed until you go to the gym." At midnight, after the gym is closed, I go to bed.

    This is especially bad now because of a recent diabetes diagnosis. I freely admit it is my own fault. I knew I was going to get it if I didn't change my ways. Even last year, I said, "Starby, you better start eating like a diabetic because you're headed that direction." And now I am painfully aware of every calorie I consume, every gram of sugar, and I try to manage it all, but it seems I can't. What the heck is wrong with me? And I work in the medical field. I see grossly overweight people, blood sugar soaring into 300's, while they tell me, "I just like food, I guess." A man today with an amputated leg because of diabetes. People with messed up retinas (and subsequent loss of vision). My boss (an MD) doesn't know I'm a diabetic and delights in telling staff all sorts of medical facts -- all diabetics are on insulin eventually, he says. All diabetics get nerve damage eventually -- even if they eat right, he says. I didn't want to take the pills - I hate pills -- but I finally had to admit I need them for now -- the attempt at healthy eating and exercise didn't really work. However, I am eating healthIER and exercising MORE than just a month ago -- baby steps.

    My sister is having gastric bypass surgery next week -- and she holds her weight well enough that people are surprised to hear she weighs enough to have surgery. I used to be the skinny sister when we were teens -- then we were both fat -- now I'll just be the fat one. But I don't like the idea of someone cutting my stomach in two -- what about long term effects? She tried doctor monitered "fat" pills -- but her new doctor thinks that is what may have caused her heart condition.

    I am trying harder than I ever did before to lose weight -- I've wasted most of my twenty something years. Even if I do ever lose weight, I'll never be young again.

    And someone was right -- if I don't see myself in the mirror, I forget I'm fat. I still feel I can do everything I used to --- until I try that hike, or want to go to the beach. Sometimes I walk by a glassy store window and catch a glimpse of myself -- and I think, damn -- is that me?

    Sorry to have used this forum as my personal Confessions of Fatness, and you guys as captive therapists. I am not seeking pity ( I would be mucho offended), but I am just stating facts. When someone says "They just need to stop eating" -- well, gee golly, that seems so simple . . .

    By the way, regarding that friend's baby -- me and another fat friend were always told not to waste food when we were young: "There are starving children -- eat it all. Have seconds." And we both agree that had some effect -- to this day, I feel I can't "waste" any uneaten food -- even if I'm full, I finish it all.

    (Will I really post this?)
    I got chills; they're multiplying . . .and I'm losing control, 'cuz the power you're supplying -- it's electrifying!

  4. #94
    Adelitas Way 7.14.09 libra1022's Avatar
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    Starby, thanks for sharing your story with us. There are many of us here struggling with our weight and our motivation to lose it as well. If you'd like some support just PM John and let him know you'd like to be part of the FORT's Chub Club. I will admit I started in there with great intentions, and have had serious motivational difficulties, (heck I'm still the same weight as when I decided to try and diet at the beginning of this year, so yep, I'm having difficulties) but I do read about the progress and encouragment from others and it truly is a great supportive place.

    I wish you all my best with your diet and exercise! If you find a good motivation to exercise can you please pass it my way? I've gotten the eating thing pretty much down, but I just can't get the exercise to save my life.

  5. #95
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    Quote Originally Posted by AIWANNABE
    Corey sickened me on how he thought gastric by-pass surgery would solve all of his problems. He just kept eating and eating, think it will go away because of the surgery. I really felt for his mother who tried hard to get him to lose weight. When he said he needed more than an hour I almost had a heart attack being someone where it takes 10 minutes or less to eat.
    I got the gastric bypass surgery when I was only 18. I had the belief that it would solve all of my problems. And guess what? It did. I can't eat high fat or high sugar foods because I get physically sick as if I am dying... so I assure you I don't eat those food anymore... I also cannot hold more than 4 oz of food at one time, so filling up past that makes me vomit... all of my bad eating habits before the surgery literally disappeared due to the fact I didn't want to be over or on a toilet after every meal... and now he will need an hour or more to eat due to the fact he is going to have to eat slowly and chew alot... it takes me about an hour and half to eat a 4 oz lunch

    And about the whole eating and eating before his surgery... my nutritionist and doctor and cardiologist and general practitioner and support group leader and support group told me that I could eat whatever and however much I wanted because after the surgery I wouldn't be able to eat most of what I enjoyed eating for years or maybe never again. It was kinda like I was given a golden ticket for five months to not watch what I ate... Corey has only a short time and then its done... unless he wants to vomit after every meal, he will change his habits.

  6. #96
    FORT Fogey AIWANNABE's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by shikon_ko_hoshi
    I got the gastric bypass surgery when I was only 18. I had the belief that it would solve all of my problems. And guess what? It did. I can't eat high fat or high sugar foods because I get physically sick as if I am dying... so I assure you I don't eat those food anymore... I also cannot hold more than 4 oz of food at one time, so filling up past that makes me vomit... all of my bad eating habits before the surgery literally disappeared due to the fact I didn't want to be over or on a toilet after every meal... and now he will need an hour or more to eat due to the fact he is going to have to eat slowly and chew alot... it takes me about an hour and half to eat a 4 oz lunch

    And about the whole eating and eating before his surgery... my nutritionist and doctor and cardiologist and general practitioner and support group leader and support group told me that I could eat whatever and however much I wanted because after the surgery I wouldn't be able to eat most of what I enjoyed eating for years or maybe never again. It was kinda like I was given a golden ticket for five months to not watch what I ate... Corey has only a short time and then its done... unless he wants to vomit after every meal, he will change his habits.
    I am glad everything has worked out for you! It am not positive, but I am guessing that Corey has not had the surgery yet and still continues to eat. I mean I understand wanting to eat what you can for now, if you had a set date for the surgery, but he doesn't. So for all he knows he can eat so much, and not even get the surgery.

  7. #97
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    Quote Originally Posted by FireStorm
    Corey disgusted me because he doesn't even TRY to cut back, not even a little bit. He ate more food at that buffet than I eat in a week. He ought to have enough sense to stay away from buffets & McDonalds. I just don't understand why he wouldn't want to at least TRY on his own a little & incorporate some exercise, who knows, if he did that he may find he doesn't NEED gastric bypass surgery.

    It seems like many obese people are looking to the surgery option, a 'quick fix', now to solve all their weight issues, when I thought that gastric bypass was supposed to be an absolute LAST RESORT for people who are physically unable to shed the pounds.
    Okay, the statistics given to me by my doctor when I had the surgery coming from Harvard University were that only 1 in 200 people who are morbidly obese aka 100 pounds overweight (Corey is definitly this) will successfully lose the 100 pounds or more (depending on how overweight they are) and keep it off for the rest of their lives. It is no longer a last resort for those morbidly obese such as I was, but an only resort unless you are that lucky 1 in 200th person, which I was not after going through some extreme measures trying to lose the weight. I know I made bad choices and it was mostly my fault, but don't think I didn't pay for them. Its certainly not a quick fix. As a matter of fact, it is the worst pain you can experience after getting the surger and forcing you to stand only about an hour afterwards without any pain medicine in you yet. But I sum it up as the worst and best experience of my entire life. I give credit to those who say yes to this surgery.

  8. #98
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    Congrats Amy, I had the surgery, and though I wasn't as large as you were, it was difficult. But as I tell everyone, it was the best and worst thing that ever happened to me. I can't wait to see you when you have lost it all! The doctors gave me a year for me to hit my goal weight and am so excited about the person I am becoming. Not only has it changed me physically, but I am discovering that I am not the pessimistic, unconfident person who I thought I was. Its helped to heal my soul too. Good luck.

  9. #99
    eny
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    Thanks for sharing all of your stories . I had read before with Carnie Wilsons story that she was physically ill when eating high sugar / fat foods. That in itself is a "great" side effect.

    Please join us at the private Chub Club at the Fort if you are interested. . You just have to PM John for access.You may feel more like sharing on a not so public forum.
    ( that goes for the rest of the Fort regulars too, sitting there chewing on a Big Mac and wondering where to start.)

  10. #100
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    Pregnancy with Gastric Bypass

    This may be of interest to those women interested in Gastric Bypass because if my co-worker hadn't had this problem, I never would have thought of it. She had the surgery and later got pregnant. She had to have her daughter early by c-section because her daughter was "failing to thrive" (not gaining enough weight). Basically the mother could not eat enough. So when the doctors say you CAN'T eat, they mean it.

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