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Thread: The FORTastic Top Moments in Reality April 18-24

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    The new me! Feifer's Avatar
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    The FORTastic Top Moments in Reality April 18-24

    Each week the FORT team of mods and writers team up to compile the best and most memorable moments in reality television. Pull up a chair and join us as we review our favorite moments from the week of April 18-24.


    I Write the Songs That Make the Whole World Sleep
    Zzz . . . zzz . . . umph . . . Oh, hey there! Yes, forgive me, I had just dozed off during this week's episode of American Idol. You see, it was Barry Manilow week which showcased the music of the legendary singer/songwriter/pianist/producer. While his music may be enjoyable to some, a whole hour of it can get . . . a little . . . dull. If you kept your eyelids propped open, you saw that most of the contestants turned in decent enough performances, while putting their own spin on the classic tunes. Small wonder--most of these songs were hits before they were even born! As for Mr. Manilow, himself: along with helping the contestants with advice and arrangements, he appeared as a guest judge for the evening. Mayhaps his tragic nose-breaking accident last summer has somewhat affected his listening ability, as well, since he turned in minimal critiquing and went the typical guest-judge-ebullient-praise route.

    Shii Who Laughs Last Laughs Longest
    It was a done deal that Shii Ann from Survivor: All-Stars was the next boot. Nobody really liked her, and with the methodical pagonging of all Mogo Mogos, it was painfully obvious that her time was up. Nobody had any qualms telling her such, either. The Shii-devil's only hope to stick around for another three days was to win immunity. One mere person against the combined might of Chaboga Mogo. One mere person who sucks at challenges. Incredibly daunting, isn't it? Like Hemingway. Well, if there's one thing we learned from this week's episode, it is: never underestimate the power of Chi! With one hand planted firmly on her hip and whipping out snarky repartee with her adversaries, Shii Ann proceeded to hold her arm in the air for well over two hours. She beat out Rupert, Boston Rob (who was defeated by a gnat), and even Amber's mind-blowing-four-minute showing. Scrambling to figure out who to kick out in lieu of Shii Ann, the tribe elected to boot Alicia, who was still malcontent from learning that the tribe considered her an "unworthy" All-Star. Well, Alicia, perhaps Rob said it best. . . . "Au revoir, adios, arriverderci, sayonara, or, as we say in Boston, see ya latuh."

    Amoré it Ain’t. But It’ll Do.
    If you’re one of the few people who just can’t get enough of bland celebrity chef Rocco DiSpirito, you’re in luck. The Restaurant returned this week for a second season. This time, Rocco is at loggerheads with his financier, Jeffrey, who’s a mite upset that Rocco’s restaurant has lost $600,000 since opening. With Jeffrey planting his own peeps all over the restaurant to figure out where the money’s going – including a snide little intern who’s sure to create drama -- and Rocco suing Jeffrey and flirting with anything in a skirt, and Rocco’s Mama ready to make like a mama bear and tear apart anyone threatening her cub, there’s hope that this season may prove more exciting than the last.

    Nobody Nose the Trouble I've Seen
    This week on The Swan we saw Tawnya say no to a new nose. She has seen tragedy after tragedy in years past and each one has taken it's toll on her spirit and her appearance. Tawnya is looking forward to looking ten years younger. Once she gets to the doctor's office we find out she is not going through with the nose job that could get the most dramatic results of the procedures offered. Tawnya wants to keep her nose so she can still see herself and her daughters when she looks in the mirror. They each have that same nose. In the end Tawnya does look ten years younger and even with the original nose, she is no ugly duckling. Bravo to Tawnya for knowing what she wants and sticking to her decision. Bravo to Dr. Terry Dubrow and The Swan for honoring her feelings and not pushing her into a new nose.

    You are getting sleepy…
    On this week’s episode of Fear Factor the folks in charge decided to try something new - make the contestants go without sleep during the 3 day shoot. Now, that sounds good on paper, but I don’t think it played out liked they hoped it would.

    First off, the stunts seemed a bit tame compared to other weeks, probably done as a precautionary measure. It also didn’t seem to have much effect on the contestants either. Nobody passed out in the middle of anything, and none of them fell into a psychotic state. The show may have put some of the people in TV land to sleep though, as there were no “eeewww grooossss” or “OMG” moments. Oh well, back to the drawing board, there’s always next week.

    Votes Hit a Sour Note
    In a vote that surprised and dismayed even the judges, diva Jennifer Hudson was this week's American Idol bootee. Her ouster might not have been so shocking if often-offkey crooner John Stevens weren't still in the competition. Hudson may be out, but she's not down; fan outrage at a voting system that could produce such results has gotten Hudson, and Idol, a lot of media attention this week. Hey, there's no such thing as bad publicity, right? The same can't be said for some of the Idol singing.

    Threesomes and Liquor and Games..Oh my
    It’s time for a big girlie game of “Never have I ever,” on this week’s episode of The Bachelor. The goal of the game: peeps talk of things they’ve never done before, and those that have done the mentioned deed must take a sip of alcohol. Things started off pretty normal with chit chat of first date kisses and every day occurrences but soon took a dive into all things sexual. Every time someone fired off some odd situation, Trish took a sip of elixir. "Never have I ever had a one night stand where I never talked to the guy again." Sip. "Never have I ever been with more than two people at once." Sip. "Never have I ever slept with two carnies and a rodeo clown." Sip. "Never have I ever found a chipmunk hot." Sip. Apparently this girl's sexual exploits are quite extraordinary, as she openly admits to sleeping with anything not completely fur covered (although that remains to be seen) and pulsing; and at age 28, volunteers hopping in the sack with approximately 35 people or more. Far be it for us to judge, but one thing is for certain….g-friend has been occupado.

    The Heat is On
    Love sizzled things up on this week’s episode of High School Reunion 2. Several hallpasses were given out this week, and Trevor and Amanda, Gabe and Denise, and John John and Lou lou all managed to run off together for nights of kissin’ and grabbin’ and love-talk. While the leftover classmates enjoyed a cheap-ass “group” hallpass to a sandy outhouse…er…day at the beach, the coupled-up peeps enjoyed beautiful vistas and declarations of love ever-lastin’. Each date ended with a sizzlin’ shot of a drawn curtain and speculation about what happened behind. And since we have no footage we can only guess. Plate spinning? Nude twister? Ewok costumes? We’ll never know. But one thing is for certain…all returned to the resort with big smiles.

    With thanks to this week’s writers:Lucy, Mantenna, Feifer, JR., Shazzer and Greenie
    It occurred to me that no matter how bleak things might seem at times, at least I have a head. ----Stargazer

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    Soccer Kicks Balls cali's Avatar
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    Great job Lucy, Mantenna, Feifer, JR., Shazzer and Greenie

    I look forward to the list every week. Fantastic!
    "Rice is great when you're hungry and want 2,000 of something' -- Mitch Hedberg

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    Blue Mooooooooon Blue Meanie's Avatar
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    Great job, everybody! No need to worry if you miss a show with these moments.
    Paintin' the Town Blue!

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    Shark Week! dagwood's Avatar
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    Great job, guys! I thoroughly enjoyed it as always.
    He who laughs last thinks slowest

    Maybe we should chug on over to namby pamby land where we can find some self confidence for you, you jackwagon!

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    I like them silent WomynLee's Avatar
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