Each week, our writers compile a list of their favorite moments of the week from the reality shows currently on the air. This is the list for this week:


10. Attack of the Weiner Dog

We were treated to a rare but somehow enjoyable sight this week on Fear Factor. Chad, a contender on this weeks show had the opportunity to try to out run some attack dogs. Unfortunately for Chad, the dog had different plans. First he tackles Chad, then he sniffs Chad, then he grabs ahold of Little Chad and won't let go. If not for the safety of the marshmellow safety suit, Chad would be singing soprano right now. This gives a whole new meaning to the term Weiner Dog.


9. Tire? We don't need no steenkin' TIRE!

Ken: Let's keep driving on the flat tire until it is completely bald and the rim is beyond repair. I think we can get to the pit stop faster this way.
Gerard: Good plan Ken! On our way, maybe we can find someone that knows how to change a flat tire!
This week, Ken and Gerard seemed to think that driving on a flat tire was a better idea than actually changing the tire themselves. Can you say: Doh! They finally found someone, who by the way couldn't help but laugh at the helpless Americans, to change their tire. This little incident cost them valuable time.


8. When First Grade Teachers Go Bad

Survivor viewers were front row observers to the further descent into dementia that embodies Janís existence in Chuay Jai. Jan built upon her earlier experiences of routinely hording the tree mail, attempting to smuggle $1000 in reward challenge funds, and taking on the daunting challenge of ensuring all creatures, great and small, receive a proper burial.

This week, Janís dark side began to emerge, and it involved the canteen of beer that Brian and Clay had brought back to camp. Once again, in her silent revolt against the concept of sharing that she normally preached everyday to a classroom of six year olds, she didnít want to share the beer with her tribe mates. Perhaps most disturbing, in a new twist, she asked for a nipple to use in drinking the beverage while clutching the canteen with a unbreakable grip.

Many psychologists reportedly believe that Jan might just have a few unresolved issues to discuss on her return.


7. A Few of Flo's Nastiest Things

To the tune of "A few of my favorite things" from the Sound of Music

A New York PR girl who thinks she's divine
Travels all over with nothing but whine
One wonders what to this team she really brings
These are a few of Flo's nastiest things

In the airport...
At the hotel...
Would you please shut up?
We look at poor Zach and can only walk by
And nod with a simple 'sup?

Nasty and dirty, that Derek called out
Caught her in action all she did was pout
Standard for her with a voice that can sting
These are a few of Flo's nastiest things

When this girl whines,
With her ma-lign,
It really makes us mad,
We simply remember that we are not Zach,
And then we don't feel, so bad.



6. Play It Again, Sam... I mean, Aaron

How romantic... your dream guy whisking you away in a limo, driving you through his home town, showing you his upscale urban loft, sharing his future dreams with you by asking your opinions on Trolley's, the restaurant he built with his own hands. Then as if this wasn't good enough, hopping in a private plane to fly to a secluded home in the woods to meet his family where you immediately board his private boat to speed across a beautiful lake. Next have a relaxing homemade meal in a comfortable outdoor setting with great people that are really interested in knowing you. Top this off with a makeout session in the lap of your dream guy in the back of the limo on your way home and YOU have had the perfect date! Well, at least Aaron thinks so because he provided the EXACT same date for both Helene, then Brooke. The actors, errr... I mean, his Family even delivered their lines flawlessly each time.... the man playing Aaron's father being the standout performer by telling both Helene and Brooke "what a beautiful name for a beautiful woman" upon the initial introduction. I guess Aaron felt that the date with Helene had gone so well that he didn't want to mess with a good thing, so he thought taking Brooke on the same date would be his best bet for nookie at the end of the night.


5. Coulda Woulda Shoulda

She was beautiful. She was sweet. She was selfless. SHE was a sure thing! The Bachelor darling, Brooke, had her heart broken by indicisive Aaron at the final rose ceremony. When she stepped out of the limo she appeared confident. She knew she was in love and she was sure Aaron was, too. Brooke was right. Aaron was in love... just not with her. But instead of crying and throwing that Alabama hissy fit that we were all waiting for, Brooke stayed calm and tried to make Aaron feel better about his decision, telling him that he was getting a wonderful woman and that he had made the right choice. What?!! You're not going to throw yourself at him shamelessly as TexasHeather had done? You're not going to drown him in the eternity pool right next to the rose podium as we all know CrazyChristi would have done? Good form, Brooke! The sweetness and strength that this little philly showed when being let down by her man made Aaron again question his decision.... and he wasn't able to keep it to himself. As Aaron walked Brooke to the limo for the last time, he said to her, "I hope I didn't make a mistake." When Brooke addressed the cameras in her lone limo ride, she said, "I should have turned around and said YOU just made the BIGGEST mistake of your life..."


4. Ex-porn star nearly squished by elephant, NEWS at 11

And in international news this evening another bizarre story from the reality show Survivor. We take you now live to Victoria Dew who is on location in Thailand. Vicky, what can you tell us?

Good evening ladies and gentleman. Earlier today Brian Heidik, Survivor 5 contestant from Quartz Hill, California, narrowly escaped being squished by an elephant while touring the Thai countryside. Fortunately for Brian, his choice of companion on the reward probably saved his life. Mr. Heidik brought along the smallest member of his tribe to share the ride. If you take a look over my shoulder you'll see that the seat perched upon this elephant is indeed too small to accomodate two normal sized people. It is evident that any other tribemate selection would have sent Brian plunging over the side to his death. Mr. Heidik also managed to stay firmly atop the elephant with a deathgrip on this side rail. Fortunately for his family, all is well and Brian is resting peacefully back at the Chuay Jai beach. Topper, back to you....


3. How do you spell -- SEE YA?

Give me a "J", give me an "A", give me a "K", give me an "E". What's that spell?
PENNY?

Wait a minute, what happened? Just when you thought little Miss Muffet had scared the spider (or in this case, "Jake the snake") away, Miss Penny gets her torch snuffed and takes her curds and whey along with her.

But don't worry about little Miss Penny. If you saw her on The Early Show you'd see she's doing just fine. Complete with a perfect little pedicure and diamond stud toe-ring.


2. Clay's Choice

Tensions mounted Thursday evening when Clay was faced with helping either Brian or Ted over the wall to continue in the reward challenge competition.

Tension? It's hardly comparable to Sophie's Choice, but I guess when you're on a reality show competing for a million dollars situations can seem magnified.

When it came down to it, though, Clay chose Brian, leaving a dejected Ted to wonder what went wrong. Guys -- it's just a reward challenge, not "who would you do?" Get over it!

And our number 1 moment of the week is...

1. Here comes the bride

Love, exciting and new....come aboard, we're expecting you!

That's right, I half expected Captain Merrill Stubing to step up to the flower laden pool and perform the ceremony on the spot in the season finale of The Bachelor.

"The Bachelor" is a bachelor no more, as he made his final selection on bended knee and proposed to Helene on the season finale Wednesday night.

"Yes I'll marry you. Without doubt," was Helene's response to his proposal.

Wow! I think I saw more emotion out of the Tin Man in the Wizard of Oz...and he didn't even have a heart.


These moments are written and compiled by our writers as a collaboration, but if you'd like to comment on them, you may send an e-mail to John at admin@fansofrealitytv.com