Itís that time of the week again. FoRT writers have gotten together and come up with another Top Ten list for your enjoyment. It seems that each week we get ďrepeat offendersĒ, those reality TV ďstarsĒ that canít seem to stop doing dim-witted things, if even for a week. I have a feeling that Survivors Osten will somehow manage to wring his 15 minutes of fame by making the FoRTís list weekly. Way to go Osten!
10. Hit Me Baby One More Time
On Fear Factor this week we got to watch as Josh bet half his winnings of $89,000 on a single hand of Black Jack. Josh had to have been one of the biggest losers on Fear Factor ever, Joe hated him, recapper extraordinaire JR. hated him, I have a feeling his third grade teacher hated him. He was dealt a 6 and a 9, then after taking 10 minutes to decide to get out his odds card, he took another 10 to take a hit drawing an Ace. Staying at 16 it was up to the dealer to make the viewers happy. 9, 3 andÖ..King, dealer busts, and the biggest loser this week won himself $ $133,500.
9. Aint That a Shame.
TLCís Trading Spaces decided to up the ante this week giving designers an extra $49,000 each. No thatís not a typo. Viewers were excited to tune in and see how much good could be done with this kind of money. Would we see them redesign the bottom floor of a house ravaged by floods? Would an orphanage or old age home get a living area that would, if only for a few moments a day, make the inhabitants happy to be there? Would a family who bought a run down but all they could afford starter home become the envy of the neighborhood? The answer, of course is NO. Trading spaces gave oodles of money to Doug and Laurie who in turn spent as much as they could to turn out two incredibly boring rooms. With Laurie spending $6,000 on drapes alone, viewers everywhere agreed that this was a colossal let down. Letís hope they learned their lesson.
8. The Streak
Itís amazing how some people still thinks itís funny to dance around with a lampshade on oneís head. Jon who has been spending quality time with the wine on Survivor, didnít manage to find a lampshade, but still had no problem making quite the fool of himself. He was obnoxiously loud, told really bad jokes, did what was supposed to be an impression of someone, and ran naked down the beach. If only there had been a night light shade to cover that other head of his.
7. Cry Me a River
This week on the Bachelor the ladies had to vote for who was most compatible with Bob and who was least compatible with him. The voting would reveal who got the two one-on-one dates that week. The women could not vote for themselves and were mighty disappointed. One-by-one they made their way to a room to vote. Each one found it difficult, but some more than others. There was crying and gnashing of teeth, but none more than Antoinette who could not even say the names of the women she had written on her ballot through her boohooing. Some of the ladies could not believe the emotional display and neither could I. Come on ladies. How well do you know Bob anyway?
6. Lyin' Eyes
This week on Extreme Makeover one of the ladies was none too pleased when she saw her face post surgery. Dana had an eye lift and one of them did not lift off as expected. She had a droopy corner and one of her lids drooped right along with it. It rendered her with a goofy eye. The doctor assured her that the swelling would go down and the muscles would do their part to make a more balanced result. Dana did not seem convinced and wanted to know what the doctor could do if the eye did not shape up as expected. He assured her that something could be done, but that it was better to wait and see rather than to go too far. In the end the doctor was right and Dana's eye took on a normal appearance.
5. Short Skirt, Long Jacket
In this week's Survivor the Drake team ripped open at the seams--and not just because they received their own sewing machine and cloth in the Reward Challenge. In a counter-intuitive decision that would cause even Yoda to throw himself in front of a herd of evil wookies, the Drakes decided to throw the immunity challenge. Burton and Rupert met for a secret beach rendezvous, and Burton explained that he and Rupert were the two strongest Drakes; therefore, they should throw a challenge pre-merge and vote out one of the pretty females, namely Christa. Rupert, gotta love him, nodded his head and pretended to agree. In his confessional, Rupert called Burton a traitor. Burton must not have remembered that Christa was the one who cut up her dress so that Rupert would have a comfortable garment. Later, those not in Burton's alliance, wanted to throw the challenge to vote out Burton.
In his confessional, Rupert said that throwing a challenge was a stupid idea. But would he do it? Yes. Because this is what his teammates wanted to do. After they threw the IC, the reward for the winners was to choose a castaway from the opposing tribe. The Morgans won and chose Rupert. Poetic justice, indeed, for the Drakes: They turned on themselves and lost a real team player.
4. Attitude Adjustment
Leeann let her true feelings come out this week on Bachelor. She took on the entire household of girls by letting them know where she stands. Leeann is not there to be part of a sorority. There will be no late night chit chats with the other girls. She did not go there to make friends. Leeann has only one purpose in being there; to get Bob. Leeann did not let it rest once she told everyone how she felt at dinner, but carried the rant into the kitchen as the remainder of the girls where cleaning up. It was apparent that the ladies were just waiting for her to move onto a different subject. Leeann droned on and on about her distaste for the other girls. One brave soul finally had enough and told her that she could just go on being her miserable self. Who knew that would be all it took to shut Leeann up. Someone should have piped up sooner.
2. I Would Do Anything For A TV (but I Won't Do That)
This week on Joe Schmo, the houseguests were given the opportunity to each win a huge plasma TV, if every houseguest completed the gross food challenge. Each houseguest was presented standard reality TV gross food challenge fare until it came to Joe Schmuck, er, Matt, himself. On Matt's plate was a serving of dog doo-doo. Right on cue, the other actors, um, houseguests were outraged as was Matt himself. Smarmy host Ralph, arranged Matt the opportunity to speak with a 'Network Exec' to work this little incident out. The Exec told Matt that he'd let him off the doo-doo eating hook - if Matt could talk Molly and Ashleigh into either baring their breasts or kissing each other - all in the name of ratings. Matt, normally such an upstanding guy, leaped at the chance and asked the two girls to help out explaining that this was 'bigger than all of them'. The girls couldn't let Matt down came through by agreeing to kiss. Unlike the Madonna/Britney kiss, this kiss was tongue free. No word yet on the status of the TVs.
1. Lonely Sinking Feeling
Upon first glance, Osten looks to be exactly the kind of guy you'd want in your tribe on Survivor. However, just as our mothers have been telling us since we were kids, a handsome face and a strong physique are NOT the measure of a man. Having spent much of his time on the show complaining about various ailments and threatening to quit, Osten once again proved to be a huge liability to his team in this week's Reward Challenge. Given the choice of digging up a puzzle piece out of the sand or swimming to retrieve one from underwater, Osten chose the latter. The bad news? Osten can't swim. As the Morgan tribe spent precious time rescuing him from the barely-over-his-head water, yet another badly-needed Reward Challenge eluded them. They say that the cream always rises to the top. As we watched Osten sink like a mob informer wearing cement loafers, we knew how true that was.
We would like to thank the following writers for contributing to the list this week. In alphabetical order, they are: Shayla, Feifer, AmandaG, cali and Miss Filangi