Here we are again. Time for the Top Ten Moments in Reality TV. I hope everyone had a wonderful week. Sit back, relax… and once again see if you can find the common thread that ties all the moments together…
10. Everybody's Somebody's Fool
If ignorance is bliss, it must be cousin to obliviousness. Josh Schwarden was a contestant on Fear Factor this week. I bet he had his friends watch. That’s unfortunate Josh.
They already must’ve thought you were foolish. Now they’ve seen it on a grander scale.
Josh had the regrettable luck of getting on host Joe Rogan’s bad side early. This is always fun for faithful Fear Factor watchers who know Joe will regale us with fun little barbs at Josh. For some reason though, Josh was clueless… yes he was in a Blissful place.
Joe didn’t disappoint. He rolled his eyes, numerous times. He told Josh he’d proven himself to be a jackass, and when Josh asked (stupid move Joshy) if Joe could imagine how many girls he could pick up in the Mazda RX-7 … well let’s say Mazda product Placement executives shivered when Joe announced “You? Probably none, but you might get some Male Prostitutes”. Ouch.
9. Rose Red
This week on the Bachelor there was a twist. On one of the group dates the host, Chris, interrupted the happy partygoers to inform them that one of the six ladies must leave directly following a mini-rose ceremony. Though they had been told before the group date that this might happen; a couple of the women were overcome and clung to each other for emotional support. A not so happy Bob had the chore of handing out five white roses leaving one woman headed for the limo. Lindsay D. was the unlucky lady. Her confessional revealed that she felt she had a better connection with Bob than some ladies and just could not understand why she was the one leaving. I guess the only connection that matters, is the one Bob feels. You definitely have to get and keep Bob's attention to get a rose, no matter the color.
8. Everybody Poops
Some things, you may not want to think about, but on this weeks edition of Fear Factor one couldn’t help but ponder what happened to the spiders. Contestants in the Special Vegas Edition were told it was time for stunt three. Although no-one would be going home, they each had a chance to win a car. If they ate these prehistoric looking spiders that is. The more you ate the more chips you earned for a game of roulette. As the long legged creatures were chomped on, chewed and swallowed, thoughts of their entire journey crossed many a mind. No worries, as you know only jalapeno peppers hurt as much on the way out as on the way in.
7. The Commitments
Last week on MTV’s makeover show Made, Tony, King of Geekville, wanted to be transformed into a lady’s man. He changed his hair, his clothes, got rid of the glasses, and then was forced to meet as many people as he could on campus. He acquired numbers from at least three girls and arranged three different dates with them on the same day. He began to feel overwhelmed when he realized he forgot to call his third date to set up a place to meet. He begged and pleaded with the girl to give him a second chance. She finally agreed but gave him a taste of his own medicine by showing up about an hour late. He tearfully gushed with thanks as he greeted her. After the date he realized he has a heart and isn’t ready to be a player, he just wants a date every now and then.
6. The Adventures of Captain Underpants.
Remember Osten? He’s on Survivor, yet he’s having a hard time living up to the title of the show. After begging to be voted off last week amid fears of catching pneumonia and getting blood in his lungs, he seemed as though he may actually be up to task this week. Until the Reward Challenge that is. Osten first let his boat drift away from the action leaving the rest of the Morgan tribe to be double-teamed. Then in an attempt to make up for lost time, he stood in the bow of his boat affectively sinking it himself. He made up lost time all right, and the Morgan’s lost the challenge quickly.
5. The Stand
Before a winner could be announced, the evicted guests of Paradise Hotel were given the opportunity to grill the finalists on their behavior throughout the game. It quickly devolved into little more than a verbal firing squad, with Dave being the recipient of the majority of the jury's ire. Never one to go quietly, though, Dave defiantly stood tall. When an enraged and freshly-evicted Holly shrieked that his lies and deception obviously didn't help him in the game, Dave laughingly responded "I'm standing here, aren't I?" Score one for the underdog.
4. No Second Chance?
All was not well on the Bachelor this week. While four ladies flirted with Bob in San Francisco, one lady was in the hospital trying to figure out to what ailment she owed her ambulance ride. Antoinette missed her first group date with Bob due to a kidney infection. When Antoinette showed up at the front door of her new digs only two of the remaining ladies bothered to welcome her home. She was quickly informed that she missed her date with Bob and was left to wonder if she would get a second chance at romance. She did get that second chance and in the end a third as she was offered another red rose.
3. The Last Temptation
This week featured the finale of what was undoubtedly the last season (due to extreme viewer apathy) of Fox' once ground-breaking reality TV series, Temptation Island. The first season there was lots of excitement, but none of the couples broke up. The second season there was steamy action which seem destined to result in post-show hook-ups between coupled folks and their tempters, but most of that fizzled by the final bonfire, and yes, Tommy New York is still available ladies. This year smarmy tempter Jeff, who worked his tempting ways on Kara before focusing his efforts on Stephanie, seems to be yet another bizarrely side-burned flash in the pan. It was unclear in the tear-filled final bonfire reunion of Stephanie and her boyfriend of 3 years, Anthony, whether they would stay together after the show. In the update we were informed that Stephanie is living with Jeff, and Anthony is "taking things more slowly" yet dating his target of temptation, Ashley. If either of these new couples end up tying the knot, such "made in reality tv-land" couple may succeed where multiple seasons of the Bachelor, Bachelorettes in Alaska, Joe Millionaire, Married by America, Mr. Personality, and Cupid have yet to go - a bona fide relationship which actually makes it to the alter. Trista and Ryan had better step it up if they want to first. Oh wait, that was Race to the Alter.
2. Needful Things
This week, viewers of Paradise Hotel tuned in to find out who would be walking away with the "Ultimate Prize". We were promised twists so exciting that even the crew members on the set would be shocked to the core. What actually happened fell more along the lines of a minor bend than a twist, as the couples were forced to switch partners, ensuring what must have been a landslide victory for Keith and Charla. And as for that much-hyped ultimate prize? A quarter of a million dollars that the couples had the option of splitting with their original partners. After a summer of screwing on camera, the REAL final twist was that it was the winners who ultimately got screwed.
The Morgan tribe is dwindling fast and they have yet to win a challenge. Something has to change for this tribe to avoid extinction. The tribe decided that "change" should be Lill. This weeks Survivor outcast was none too pleased with the leader of the tribe for not following up with her as promised. Andrew had assured Lill that he would let her know if she was going to be the one voted out. She even thanked him for having the balls to do so. I guess Andrew has no balls after all. Was this a surprise to anyone?
The FoRT would like to thank all the writers who contributed this week. They are, in alphabetical order: AmandaG, cali, Feifer , greenie and LG.