It’s been an exciting week, and the Top Ten Moments flowed from the keyboard’s of our illustrious group of writers. I hope you enjoy reading them as much as I did when I assembled the hard-to-order list!



10. They looked so Happy

They had their rough moments during The Amazing Race. They were a hot topic on message boards and around the water cooler. They were sometimes wonderfully nice, offering to share a hotel room, and showing awe and respect in the temple while looking for “their Buddha”. At times they seemed mean, getting angry that a cabbie in a foreign country didn’t speak English, or laughing at the nicknames of the other teams.

They endured crowded trains, traffic and lack of sleep. They overcame fears and car wrecks and ultimately won the race and One Million Dollars.

On the mat with Phil, they looked so incredibly happy. Here’s hoping they are able to spend the money together and with as much happiness on their faces.

Congratulations Reichan and Chip. You worked hard, and it payed off!


9. "The Floaters Unite"

It turns out that alliances are being broken as the power keeps shifting, as in the case of the Dream Team (Justin, Robert and Jee) on Big Brother, while new ones are being formed. One, in particular is the unholy alliance of Jun and Alison.

Despite the fact that the girls both openly state their dislike for each other, they compared notes while relaxing in the hot tub, and realized that they employed similar game strategies. In Alison and Jun's case this means not having loyalty toward any particular alliance. The "floaters" then decided that they might as well stick together and form their own "Dastardly Duo" which is precisely what they did.

That is, of course, until the next turn of events.


8. Don't It Make Your Brown Eyes Blue

Who says For Love Or Money 2 does not have its moments of excitement?

Just when we thought it was down to the last three, Wade, Chad and Eric, in comes the fly in the ointment, I mean Rob, to rededicate himself to Erin and/or the two million bucks.

Anyway, the guys don't like him and he's not helping by keeping mum about Erin. After all, Rob spent a long time in that house with her but they don't know it.

The thing is, that Rob has the advantage of knowing Erin the longest and you'd think he would do the best in the "Date Quiz." He was eliminated in the very first round when Host Jordan asked the boys what color eyes Erin has. Rob proudly held up his answer which was "BLUE!"

Wrong again, Rob!


7. Giancarlo Redux

Who can ever forget Giancarlo from last season? Even though he got sent home early, he remained in all our hearts.

After having seen "The Maniacis" I can understand why. This is a new breed of parents on Meet My Folks. They are not tough talking, militant and harsh. These parents were soft spoken, empathetic and just delightful. No wonder Giancarlo is such a sweetheart.

When the three girls arrived, they were treated with the utmost kindness. However, two of them had to be dismissed. Then came Daniela, the girl that they had misgivings about because she had posed nude in Playboy and had legally divorced her parents. When the truth was revealed as to her reasons, the Maniacis realized that they had jumped to conclusions and sent her to Hawaii with their beloved son. They embraced her wholeheartedly.

As Dad Maniaci said "All is well that ends well."


6. Least Comic Standing

The wait staff of The Restaurant is rapidly proving true the old adage that waiters are just "performers between jobs".

This week we got to see Pete Giovine testing out his comedic "chops" in his first ever stand up set at a local club.
He, and the other comics on the bill, were advised that they had exactly six minutes in which to impress and amuse the audience.

Pete began really strongly, then started talking.
After his Utah polygamy jokes fell flat, he promised not to avoid the difficult issues and tried to convince the audience of New Yorkers that there was one really cool thing about terrorist bombings.
The booing of the audience drowned him out and he was forced to flee the stage with a parting comment about how ruthless they were.

At work the following day, visibly shaken, Pete could be seen and heard bemoaning his lack of readiness for the performance to some of his colleagues.

The real problem Pete, was your lack of funniness.


5. Smokey Says: Only YOU can prevent bad TV!

He already has a place in the opening credits, and we got the chance to learn a little bit more about Smokey the Monkey on Paradise Hotel this week.

Holly gets along ok with him, he touched Tara's boob, which is more action than Dave has seen in weeks, and if you mess with him he might "bite you in the ass".

Smokey doesn't talk to his public though, all verbal communication is made through his "owner" Tom.

As Tom says, "If they knew you had a talking monkey people would want it".
Can't argue with that.


4. Why Are You Looking at My Penis?

Yet another hilarious makeover moment came about this Tuesday on Bravo’s hit show Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.

John Verdi, a New York police officer, had the pleasure of being made over by the Fab 5 in an effort to bring back romance into his relationship. John was feeling low in the self-esteem area. The Fab 5 boys did their best efforts to correct flaws in his home, his wardrobe, and his overall style.

In an effort to make John look more fit and tan, Kyan took him to a spray on tan facility. Kyan and John both dressed in only disposable underwear (or what John liked to call “skivvies”). Basically they looked like they were wearing black scrunchies around their privates. John remarked at how gay this is, with Kyan asking, “How is this gay?” John then said “How is this NOT gay? You just don’t understand!”

In true Queer Eye fashion, Kyan kept stealing glances at John leading John to finally question, “Why are you looking at my penis?” Earth to John, queer means gay. Hilarity ensued and John ended up with a fabulous tan, a fabulous makeover, and even some fabulous queerness!


3. What's Wrong With You People.

Could this weeks episode of Cupid have seen the start of a voting backlash against Lisa and her uber-bitch buddies?

Paul was booted, one of Lisa's favourite guys, but it was a lose/lose/lose for her as she liked all the guys identified as the lowest vote getters.

"How can you do this to a nice person like Lisa?" wailed her pals.

Well, when you decide to allow America to choose your "soul mate", you run the risk of getting what (or whom) you deserve.

You made your bed Lisa, you only have to lie in it for a year and you'll get to share a $1,000,000.00 pay off, surely that has to make you feel really good.


2. It's Bad Manners To Kill The Host

This week's luxury contest on The Family featured the best prize yet; a year's lease of a $90,000 2003 Maserati Spyder, and a trip to Italy to attend the Master GT Maserati driving school. To win, teams of two had to navigate a golf cart through an obstacle course. The catch? The driver would be blindfolded and the passenger had to give directions. The fastest team would win the prize. It was an uneventful competition until the final team took the course, with Cousin Anthony navigating and Aunt Donna driving. As they navigated, or should I say destroyed, the course (Anthony's description of the aftermath was that the course "looked like a small Kentucky town that a tornado just tore through"), everyone sensed impending disaster. From his perch atop a lifeguard chair at the finish, host George Hamilton laughed "She's totally out of her mind the way she drives - this is incredible! If she starts coming towards us, I'm bailing." The man with a tan should have taken his own advice, because as they reached the finish line, Aunt Donna took a hard left, and the golf cart crashed through two barriers and into Hamilton's chair, nearly toppling it. Anthony, whose directions were responsible for the entire debacle, managed to stammer out "You just killed George Hamilton."


1. The Naked Truth

The Amazing Race finale was about as exciting as anything could get. With three teams left, there was still much to do to reach the finish line and be greeted by cheering former teammates.

The day began at the Aboriginal Cultural Park with a dramatic fire ceremony, continued to a heart pounding skydive over the coastline of Australia, and then on to the next to last leg where another task awaited on the Big Island of Hawaii.

The task consisted of swimming out to a marker, diving down, retrieving a painted rock that contained a clue for their final destination.

Never one to disappoint, Jon decided to approach this feat in a practical manner. Down to his last pair of clean underwear, he didn't want to risk "swamp butt" for the remainder of the "Race," so he stripped naked, swam out to get the rock and proceeded to pound it open with a chisel to retrieve their clue - COMPLETELY NAKED! We were treated to a pixilated view of full frontal nudity at its finest! We were not the only ones who were impressed. Even Kelly said gleefully, "Look at that big rock!"


Thanks to all the writers who contributed this week. In alphabetical order, they are: cali, CaliGirl, Fluff, Greenie, John and Wayner.