Here we are with yet another list of the best things that happened in reality TV this week. I hope you enjoy our list:
10. ”Tooth, Line and Sinker” - Nathan's Mom
Apparently, mixed metaphors run in the family. Who can forget Nathan's statement about Alison - "She's got the brains, I've got the brawns?"
Things came to a head this week onBig Brother 4 when Alison's "brains" malfunctioned and she forgot that Nathan was her friend. She made some pretty callous statements how he is on his own now and firmly aligned herself with her "ex" Justin, thereby saving her own butt at least for the time being.
The Dream Team, as they like to refer to themselves, had Justin in the power position of HOH and quickly put up Jack and Nathan for eviction.
Nothing could save Nathan now, not even his erstwhile pal Alison. By a vote of 5 to 0 Nathan was evicted from the BB house and being called a whining baby must have sunk the knife in even further.
9. Mommy Said I Could Leave It At Home
During the run of The Family, we've seen and heard a lot from Cousin Anthony. He's looked foolish attempting muscle poses in front of a full length mirror. He's been told "Do what Daddy says" and ordered around by his parents at every turn. When his mother chose to coddle him and not to send him before the board, he complained. This week, when she chose to send him before the board, he complained that she chose to save his father over him, making his previous complaint seem like bluster intended only to impress his cousins. In general, Anthony has been portrayed as a whiney, 23 year old mama's boy. This week when the Secret Board of Trustees chose to eliminate him, he said, "At least I still have my dignity." Clearly, he must have left it back in Jersey for safekeeping.
8. CULD I DRVIEE PLZ?!1?!!!!!11 WTF LOL
We've witnessed venom spewing from Kelly and Jon of The Amazing Race. They've fought with each other, made fun of other teams, and just haven't seemed to relax enough to enjoy their travels. This week, while Chip drove over Reichen's foot and engaged in "No, you're the a__hole" arguments, Kelly and Jon had a bit of fun.
The Roadblock took place at Offroad Rush, a business supplying extreme road sports adventures. There teams would drive a dune buggy around a twisty track. Simple enough--choose a partner to don racing gear, get in the buggy (with an anonymous hired lackey), drive around the track, stop, pull off helmet, unzip jumpsuit, and accept instructions to the next Pitstop.
It was Kelly's turn to do the Roadblock, but how could she refuse the look on Jon's face, or his jumping up and down gesture, the universally accepted sign for "Please, Mom, can I have some candy?" She sent him off with an "OK, Mario Andretti."
Jon managed to drive like a bat out of Grand Theft Auto 3. Rather than running over innocent civilians (we'll leave that task for Chip), Jon overturned his vehicle. Kelly, screaming, sprinted across the dirt roads to attend to Jon. She thought the worst: maybe he was dead? When Jon and his co-pilot scrambled out from the buggy, they were laughing. They were definitely very alive. They tipped the buggy back over, got in it, and continued their madness. Afterwards, Jon was so elated that Kelly concluded they were reeeally ready to get married, now that Jon could check off one thing from his list. I guess Jon won't have to fake his death before getting married now.
7. Four Gals and a Guy
FOX blessed us with a finale for the mini sized American Idol known as American Juniors this week. We waited for a week in anticipation to see who would join Taylor, Tori, Lucy, and Chauncey in the new pint sized group
It was narrowed down to three: Chantel, AJ, and Danielle. AJ definitely would have rounded out the group by adding another male voice; Chantel had been in the top 3 every week except one,; and Danielle had the performance of her life the prior week. After much expectancy for the completion of this still unnamed group, the last addition was announced. And the lucky winner was Danielle.
So there you have it. Two syrupy sweet sisters, a tall gorgeous voiced preteen, a young girl with a voice of an angel, and a little boy with dimples a la Ruben Studdard. Makes for an interesting future! Good luck guys, or shall I say gals and guy!
Amid impending staff rebellion and increasing customer complaints, "celebrity chef" Rocco Di Spirito decided to go back to basics this week on The Restaurant.
Rocco, who appears to have previously only visited the kitchen to admonish his over worked staff, turned his hand to some chopping, dicing, sautéing and more, accompanied by a stirring soundtrack courtesy of the editors.
His fellow chefs looked on in awe as he went heavy on the chef, easy on the celebrity and managed to look like a true professional instead of the awkward school boy we'd seen schmoozing the customers earlier.
5. Holy Cow
Well, not quite, but on one of the few episodes of Animal Cops: Houston this week the Houston SPCA Cruelty Investigation Team rescued a couple of horses from an farm where the owners couldn’t be found.
The horses were in bad shape. Dirty, underfed, un-groomed, dehydrated and one of them had a hole in his neck. You need to understand that a full grown man could put his fist through the hole. No one knows how the hole appeared, although many guess the horse had been shot. I would tend to agree, except for the shear size of the hole. Guesses were also made as to when the horse acquired the hole. No one knows that either, but it had healed itself and the skin had re-grown.
After being cleaned up, fed and re-hydrated Holy Horse was given a clean bill of health and will be up for adoption in Houston.
Hats off to the Investigators for the many saves they make every day. They truly are heroes.
4. Time Waits for No Man
On this week’s For Love or Money 2, Erin had a long day ahead of her and the opportunity to spend time with each of the four remaining guys, Eric, Greg, Chad and Wade. It was a tightly planned schedule where each man would only be allotted a few hours a piece and then had to make way for the next candidate. This was all to be arranged through calls that Erin would make to individual cell phones that were handed out to each man. She could summon them at various intervals but was allowed to prolong the dates if she was enjoying herself.
The first date was with Chad and took place in an ice skating rink. What a way to start the day. That didn’t deter Erin from letting the date run over into the next “time zone” thereby eliminating someone from getting “alone time” with her.
The silver cell phones lay idly on the table while a big wall clock ticking away the minutes did nothing to allay the fears of the three left behind. The guys began to sweat, particularly Eric, who took to his bed in a depressed state and behaved like a girl whose prom date never showed up.
When the second date with Wade in a dim salsa bar was also too good not to let spill over into the next time period, Greg was left out in the cold. Greg had never been on a single date with Erin, but he took it like a man. He felt that she never even got to know him, but it was no surprise to anyone that she sent him packing that evening while Eric got to keep his fantasy alive for another week.
The final three were standing on top of the staircase when Erin looked like she saw a ghost, and she did. Rob Campos, the suitor that Erin had rejected in favor of the money, showed up with a creepy smile on his face and a “Hello, Erin” on his lips and all bets were off.
3. I Like Big Buts.
Despite their continued misgivings about her sincerity, the Mueller kids decision to keep Christy in the game and Dad's very obvious attraction to her, made her the front runner to become their new step mom on Who Wants To Marry My Dad?
Christy looked every inch the winner as she stood and listened to Joe, Chris and Karla take turns to say how much they liked her.
Heidi then delivered the shocking news that caused Dad and Christy's expressions to shift from the twin grins they'd previously been sporting, "I'm so, so, so,so sorry... but we haven't chosen you"
Dad's request for a final kiss was denied by Christy, which probably left the kids feeling even more certain they'd made the right choice.
2. Crazing Grace.
Grace's exasperation at the lack of physical and mental prowess of her fiancé Robert came to a head on this weeks edition of Race To The Altar.
Last in a foot race against men, all of who were a few years his senior, Robert caught his foot and fell face first into a fountain, smashing the plate he was trying to retrieve in order to win Grace her dream table setting.
Back at the table (obviously not the one Grace wanted) he removed the giant yellow bath towel he had pressed against the wound to reveal the smallest of Band Aids.
The scratch was clearly more serious than it looked as Robert used it as an excuse not to join Grace on any roller-coasters and rides during a supposed "fun night out" with the rest of the couples, which led Grace to deliver a tirade against him and his ridiculous flesh-wound excuse.
Grace and Robert may just slip through and win the whole thing because no one thinks of them as enough of a threat to eliminate them from the competition.
If they do win, Grace will surely never let Robert forget he ruined her reception when his chin first dive into the fountain left her with the table setting she liked least.
1. Think twice about THIS party invitation!
This week, the Fab 5 made another appearance on NBC, with an almost-uncut version of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. Carson, the most flamboyant television persona since "Just Jack", made his mark on southern cowboy-goes-NYC John B, while drooling all over him in the process. You gotta love a guy who can make a straight guy love a pink dinner jacket. Carson tells John's fiancée Tina that "he's like a puppy, we wanna keep him!" Then, trading his "cowboy hat" for the real thing, he had us rolling with "That was a party favor, THIS is a cowboy hat!" Why is this the number 1 moment? NBC deserves a big BRAVO for airing the gay up front show to reach more people!
The Fort would like to thank the following writers for contributing to the list this week. They are, in alphabetical order: cali, CaliGirl, fluff, greenie, John, Shayla, and Wayner