Star Dates: The Tiffany Dates - I Think You're a Bore Now

Bill · 07-12-2003, 08:36 PM

I Think You’re a Bore Now

Star Dates, Episode 10
Featuring: Tiffany

Star Dates’ premise is to combine Blind Date, Elimidate, Disgusting Date, and any other dating show you can think of. The twist here is to set up dates between a B list actor and a normal (read: not famous, but probably trying to be) citizen.

Reggie Gaskins hosts, and he is up to his usual high standard of comic relief this week, and trust me, it was needed.

The “Celebrity”

Tiffany Darwish made a big splash on the music scene in 1987, at age 15, going with the name Tiffany, when her debut album Tiffany and the single, I Think We’re Alone Now were released. Eventually, I Think We’re Alone Now and Could've Been both reach the top of the charts, as did the album itself.

Tiffany’s life changed dramatically after these big hits. She was a global success in the music industry, but sadly she faced much turmoil at home. In 1988, she filed for legal emancipation from her mother, and there was great conflict about the influence her agent was having on her. Eventually her aunt was appointed as her legal guardian.

She went on to make five original albums, and somewhat ironically, five collections of greatest hits. You can’t fault her for milking it I suppose, especially given the reality that most of her riches seem to have been gone by the early 90’s. None of the follow on albums have ever achieved near the same level of success as the debut Tiffany, but she remains committed to her career.

Tiffany, and Debbie Gibson for that matter, paved the way for teenage diva’s who followed. So if you break it down, we can blame Tiffany for Britney Spears. I know I do.

But that isn’t all the damage she did to modern culture. In 1988 she allowed a young ensemble of boys to audition for her agent while they were in Long Island. That group, known as New Kids on the Block, ended up landing a gig as her opening act, and went on to their own success, further encouraging the boy band craze, which eventually led to *NSYNC. Without Tiffany blazing the trail, Justin and Britney would never have met, and Britney would still be a virgin… yeah right…

Tiffany tours regularly today, playing small clubs and events. She is also no stranger to the pages of Playboy, posing in April 2002, and she clearly has the appropriate assets for doing so. This timeframe corresponds to the same period where she and her husband separated. I am not sure if she is officially divorced or not.

Now in her early thirties, this single mom, who is fascinated with piercing and tattoos, is looking for love, and the good folks at Star Dates are glad to help. Whom shall she be dating?

The “Normal” Folks

Simon is lawyer, specializing in venture capital for technology start-up’s. He is originally from Australia, and is smart enough to continue using the accent to his advantage. He is a Neil Diamond fan. Basically a button down, conservative kind of guy on the outside, Simon is the complete opposite of our second date, George.

George is a musician, originally from Chicago, who claims to look like Tommy Lee. He really looks more like the guy who made my coffee this morning at Starbucks, but hey, whatever works for you George. I personally am going with the “looks like Brad Pitt” line myself, and it is working wonders! We are also assured that George loves his tattoos, and that is good to hear.

Date #1 – Simon

Reggie reveals to Simon who his date will be, and he is surprised and happy. “Very nice!” he says.

He is even happier when they meet, as Tiffany has “grown” quite a bit since those teenage days. They hug and get on the road. Simon’s only complaint involves the massive pair of sunglasses that Tiffany is wearing. These things are huge. I am pretty sure they would collect enough sunlight to power up the Hubble Telescope if necessary.

Tiffany and Simon talk easily to each other during the drive to their first event, which will be surfing lessons.

Simon is pretty touchy all through the date, and he starts in earnest here, always ready to hug and hold whenever Tiffany takes a spill, which was quite often. Tiffany doesn’t mind though, and is more than happy to be consoled in her failure. After a while, I was starting to wonder if maybe Simon was swimming along underwater, then knocking her off the board, just so he could get another hug in.

From the beach, our couple heads off to a hair salon, where they get the full treatment. Simon enjoys his massage but quickly returns to his duties of touching Tiffany.

At dinner, the wine flows, as does the conversation. Simon confesses that barriers came down at that point. I am not sure what barriers were there to begin with, but I’ll take his word for it.

These two are in to each other. They kiss in the car, they kiss on the sidewalk, and they kiss at the door. If cameras were not along, more kissing and such could have continued, but then, Tiffany is no stranger to the naked camera, so I suppose I could be wrong.

The date ends, and Tiffany assures Reggie that this one was “a keeper.” Simon is “looking forward” to their next date.

Once again, the Star Dates producers have made a match, but what about date number two?

Date#2 – George

On the drive to pick up George, Tiffany is reading his bio, and likes what she sees, after all, George says he has tattoos and looks like Tommy Lee. Far closer to Tiffany’s usual guy than the conservative Simon.

Reggie arrives at George’s apartment, white envelope in hand. George is happy when he sees who his date will be, describing Tiffany as an icon.

Icon?

Wow, strong words George. I wonder what other “icons” exist in your world. Probably the Bugaloos have to be one, but now that I think about it, who doesn’t love the Bugaloos? So, strong comments or not, if it scores you brownie points, more power to you George.

They meet with a hug. In the Escalade, there is no talking. The sound of crickets serenades us. Reggie is driving and shaking his head in amazement. Now, I am no expert on dating, but I am guessing that kind of silence is not a good sign. Just a hunch.

They go to an auto museum, and Tiffany shows her true colors by fixating on the “shoe car”. What is it about women and shoes? How many different pairs of white tennis shoes does a woman need? I would think one, maybe two, but nooooooooooo. The usual answer is at least six, and many times far more than that. But I digress…

This date does not go well, but the good news is that it allows Reggie to make some classic comments, such as “This boy watched the Fast and the Furious in reverse. The slow and the melancholy.”

At dinner Tiffany brings up a data point from George’s bio where he claims to drink a lot, and then strip. Frankly, I don’t believe it, but Tiffany is willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. George takes the question in a different way, and begins backtracking and apologizing for the behavior. I guess he didn’t know about Tiff’s work for Playboy.

George is scrambling now, he is on the ropes and he knows it. Fighting to get back into the game, he compliments Tiffany on her eyes. Tiffany then says that it was the first time anyone complimented her eyes. I figured that was an exaggeration, but then again, it might well have been one of the few times a man looked up at her face.

George presses on, trying to impress the lady, but seemingly unsure of how to do it. Should he continue with the compliments? Or perhaps ask her about her career? What about her child? Wait, I got it! Tell a pointless story about eating a bunch of chocolate and then puking.

Yes! Brilliant! Nothing livens up a first dinner together like barf stories.

Later, Reggie corners Tiffany and wants to know her reaction to George. She says that there is no way he looks like Tommy Lee. She likes Simon better, but notes that she could “manipulate” George quite easily.

Run George! Run!

Too late. George thinks that Tiffany is fun and beautiful all in one. That certainly seems to be the case, but for whatever reason, George just couldn’t make a good impression tonight. The date ends pretty abruptly.

Tiffany doesn’t care for George herself, but she knows some “friends” she could hook him up with. Too bad George, but you had a tough act to follow in Simon, and then you just couldn’t get the conversation going at any point in the evening.

Until next week!

Comments are welcome. Email: bill@fansofrealitytv.com

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***John*** · 07-12-2003, 08:58 PM

Quote:

He is originally from Australia, and is smart enough to continue using the accent to his advantage.

Okay, this guy's cool. What's that?

Quote:

He is a Neil Diamond fan.

Uh oh, ya just lost me, big guy.

Way to go, Brad!

--The guy who just learned Tiffany's last name

LG. · 07-12-2003, 11:20 PM

That sounds like an interesting episode. I'll have to track it down. I think it airs at 8:00 on Sunday morning, don't ask why I know.

And this, sad but true (and very funny):

Quote:

Tiffany, and Debbie Gibson for that matter, paved the way for teenage diva’s who followed. So if you break it down, we can blame Tiffany for Britney Spears. I know I do.

Damn you, Tiffany.

eny · 07-13-2003, 01:44 AM

Quote:

That group, known as New Kids on the Block, ended up landing a gig as her opening act, and went on to their own success, further encouraging the boy band craze, which eventually led to *NSYNC. Without Tiffany blazing the trail, Justin and Britney would never have met, and Britney would still be a virgin… yeah right…

So Tiffany is the cause of the end of good music and the beginning of most of the crap around no? Baa she shuld be locked up and forced to listen to the BSB's forever...
She doesn't deserve a Neil Diamond fan ...

Sweet Caroline- ba ba ba

Jordan · 07-13-2003, 10:55 AM

I miss Jordan Black as host. He did decently well on "On the Spot" before it was abruptly cancelled.

Anyone else wonder how much these celebrities are getting paid? Or maybe they're not getting paid and they're just appearing on the show to get their name back into the spotlight.

Great recap, by the way. I didn't get to catch this show yet I understood just about everything that happened.

Bumpkin · 07-13-2003, 04:50 PM

Great work Bill

Super recap. I didn't watch the show, but I feel like I was there ...

07-12-2003, 08:36 PM	#1
Bill Starbucks is your friend Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Orygun Posts: 12,140	Star Dates: The Tiffany Dates - I Think You're a Bore Now I Think You’re a Bore Now Star Dates, Episode 10 Featuring: Tiffany Star Dates’ premise is to combine Blind Date, Elimidate, Disgusting Date, and any other dating show you can think of. The twist here is to set up dates between a B list actor and a normal (read: not famous, but probably trying to be) citizen. Reggie Gaskins hosts, and he is up to his usual high standard of comic relief this week, and trust me, it was needed. The “Celebrity” Tiffany Darwish made a big splash on the music scene in 1987, at age 15, going with the name Tiffany, when her debut album Tiffany and the single, I Think We’re Alone Now were released. Eventually, I Think We’re Alone Now and Could've Been both reach the top of the charts, as did the album itself. Tiffany’s life changed dramatically after these big hits. She was a global success in the music industry, but sadly she faced much turmoil at home. In 1988, she filed for legal emancipation from her mother, and there was great conflict about the influence her agent was having on her. Eventually her aunt was appointed as her legal guardian. She went on to make five original albums, and somewhat ironically, five collections of greatest hits. You can’t fault her for milking it I suppose, especially given the reality that most of her riches seem to have been gone by the early 90’s. None of the follow on albums have ever achieved near the same level of success as the debut Tiffany, but she remains committed to her career. Tiffany, and Debbie Gibson for that matter, paved the way for teenage diva’s who followed. So if you break it down, we can blame Tiffany for Britney Spears. I know I do. But that isn’t all the damage she did to modern culture. In 1988 she allowed a young ensemble of boys to audition for her agent while they were in Long Island. That group, known as New Kids on the Block, ended up landing a gig as her opening act, and went on to their own success, further encouraging the boy band craze, which eventually led to NSYNC. Without Tiffany blazing the trail, Justin and Britney would never have met, and Britney would still be a virgin… yeah right… Tiffany tours regularly today, playing small clubs and events. She is also no stranger to the pages of Playboy, posing in April 2002, and she clearly has the appropriate assets for doing so. This timeframe corresponds to the same period where she and her husband separated. I am not sure if she is officially divorced or not. Now in her early thirties, this single mom, who is fascinated with piercing and tattoos, is looking for love, and the good folks at Star Dates are glad to help. Whom shall she be dating? The “Normal” Folks* Simon is lawyer, specializing in venture capital for technology start-up’s. He is originally from Australia, and is smart enough to continue using the accent to his advantage. He is a Neil Diamond fan. Basically a button down, conservative kind of guy on the outside, Simon is the complete opposite of our second date, George. George is a musician, originally from Chicago, who claims to look like Tommy Lee. He really looks more like the guy who made my coffee this morning at Starbucks, but hey, whatever works for you George. I personally am going with the “looks like Brad Pitt” line myself, and it is working wonders! We are also assured that George loves his tattoos, and that is good to hear. Date #1 – Simon Reggie reveals to Simon who his date will be, and he is surprised and happy. “Very nice!” he says. He is even happier when they meet, as Tiffany has “grown” quite a bit since those teenage days. They hug and get on the road. Simon’s only complaint involves the massive pair of sunglasses that Tiffany is wearing. These things are huge. I am pretty sure they would collect enough sunlight to power up the Hubble Telescope if necessary. Tiffany and Simon talk easily to each other during the drive to their first event, which will be surfing lessons. Simon is pretty touchy all through the date, and he starts in earnest here, always ready to hug and hold whenever Tiffany takes a spill, which was quite often. Tiffany doesn’t mind though, and is more than happy to be consoled in her failure. After a while, I was starting to wonder if maybe Simon was swimming along underwater, then knocking her off the board, just so he could get another hug in. From the beach, our couple heads off to a hair salon, where they get the full treatment. Simon enjoys his massage but quickly returns to his duties of touching Tiffany. At dinner, the wine flows, as does the conversation. Simon confesses that barriers came down at that point. I am not sure what barriers were there to begin with, but I’ll take his word for it. These two are in to each other. They kiss in the car, they kiss on the sidewalk, and they kiss at the door. If cameras were not along, more kissing and such could have continued, but then, Tiffany is no stranger to the naked camera, so I suppose I could be wrong. The date ends, and Tiffany assures Reggie that this one was “a keeper.” Simon is “looking forward” to their next date. Once again, the Star Dates producers have made a match, but what about date number two? Date#2 – George On the drive to pick up George, Tiffany is reading his bio, and likes what she sees, after all, George says he has tattoos and looks like Tommy Lee. Far closer to Tiffany’s usual guy than the conservative Simon. Reggie arrives at George’s apartment, white envelope in hand. George is happy when he sees who his date will be, describing Tiffany as an icon. Icon? Wow, strong words George. I wonder what other “icons” exist in your world. Probably the Bugaloos have to be one, but now that I think about it, who doesn’t love the Bugaloos? So, strong comments or not, if it scores you brownie points, more power to you George. They meet with a hug. In the Escalade, there is no talking. The sound of crickets serenades us. Reggie is driving and shaking his head in amazement. Now, I am no expert on dating, but I am guessing that kind of silence is not a good sign. Just a hunch. They go to an auto museum, and Tiffany shows her true colors by fixating on the “shoe car”. What is it about women and shoes? How many different pairs of white tennis shoes does a woman need? I would think one, maybe two, but nooooooooooo. The usual answer is at least six, and many times far more than that. But I digress… This date does not go well, but the good news is that it allows Reggie to make some classic comments, such as “This boy watched the Fast and the Furious in reverse. The slow and the melancholy.” At dinner Tiffany brings up a data point from George’s bio where he claims to drink a lot, and then strip. Frankly, I don’t believe it, but Tiffany is willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. George takes the question in a different way, and begins backtracking and apologizing for the behavior. I guess he didn’t know about Tiff’s work for Playboy. George is scrambling now, he is on the ropes and he knows it. Fighting to get back into the game, he compliments Tiffany on her eyes. Tiffany then says that it was the first time anyone complimented her eyes. I figured that was an exaggeration, but then again, it might well have been one of the few times a man looked up at her face. George presses on, trying to impress the lady, but seemingly unsure of how to do it. Should he continue with the compliments? Or perhaps ask her about her career? What about her child? Wait, I got it! Tell a pointless story about eating a bunch of chocolate and then puking. Yes! Brilliant! Nothing livens up a first dinner together like barf stories. Later, Reggie corners Tiffany and wants to know her reaction to George. She says that there is no way he looks like Tommy Lee. She likes Simon better, but notes that she could “manipulate” George quite easily. Run George! Run! Too late. George thinks that Tiffany is fun and beautiful all in one. That certainly seems to be the case, but for whatever reason, George just couldn’t make a good impression tonight. The date ends pretty abruptly. Tiffany doesn’t care for George herself, but she knows some “friends” she could hook him up with. Too bad George, but you had a tough act to follow in Simon, and then you just couldn’t get the conversation going at any point in the evening. Until next week! Comments are welcome. Email: bill@fansofrealitytv.com __________________ "George Oscar Bluth II, aka GOB, featured magician in the best selling videotape, "Girls With Low Self Esteem" invites you to enter his world. -- Arrested Development, Season III

07-13-2003, 10:55 AM	#5
Jordan I love reality TV. Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Houston, Texas Age: 22 Posts: 38	I miss Jordan Black as host. He did decently well on "On the Spot" before it was abruptly cancelled. Anyone else wonder how much these celebrities are getting paid? Or maybe they're not getting paid and they're just appearing on the show to get their name back into the spotlight. Great recap, by the way. I didn't get to catch this show yet I understood just about everything that happened.

07-13-2003, 04:50 PM	#6
Bumpkin FORT Fogey Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Snarksville Age: 42 Posts: 2,293	Great work Bill Super recap. I didn't watch the show, but I feel like I was there ...