Welcome back to another weeks worth of memorable moments from Reality TV. Sorry for the delay in posting the list this week. I hope everyone had a great weekend, and that you are ready to take a minute out of your day to sit back and read another great compilation.
10. Brunettes Can’t Take a Joke Either
When best friends team up to date a 29-year old bachelorette on The Dating Experiment age quickly becomes an issue for one of them. During a date, hunky Geoff asks Tiana when she thinks she might marry.
When she responds, “in the next six or seven years. I still want to be young when I have kids,” Geoff guffaws and tells her she’d better hurry up.
At her hurt expression, Geoff uses an old standard “it was a joke” to cover the barb.
Remember, jokes make people laugh, not run crying to the bathroom.
9. Cheese, anyone?
Well, the rat that took up residence in the Last Comic Standing's mansion last week would sure like to have some with maybe a few crackers. This uninvited guest sends comics, Tere Joyce screaming and Rich Vos jumping onto the counters. Rich, being an expert on rats, informs Dave Mordal that this is no ordinary rat. This rat kills because he wants to. Dave makes it his quest to capture the rat even if it's the last thing he does. He tries to smoke it out from under the stove. That fails. He then resorts to a more conventional way: luring the mouse out with cheese. Gosh, what a concept? After several funny attempts to capture it, Dave finally succeeds and decides to release the killer rat into the neighbor's yard. Who knows, maybe they have cheese to spare or better yet, they might be rat people.
8. AAAAAHHHH SHUT YER TRAP!
With the game getting more intense on THE AMAZING RACE, the detours are getting dirtier and dirtier. Literally. Last week they were mucking in manure and this week the contestants were airing dirty laundry. Kelly and Jon were in the midst of the detour where they are forced to wash a bundle of laundry in India. Kelly was busy doing her usual bitch and moan fest when a native in the mud puddle next to theirs slung a "clean" garment and laundry water went into Kelly's gaping yaw! Kelly screamed about it going into her mouth and thoughts of what possible diseases she would get gleefully danced in my head. I am pretty sure the man in the next stall was sending Jon a message of how they treat bossy, griping, and whining women in India. I know he slung that on purpose and thus deserves to be granted 'God' status over there! Well at least I am sure his Karma will now be in good standing. Anyway, Kelly having to learn the "why don't you shut your mouth and that wouldn’t happen" lesson is a definite top ten moment! Of course if Jon had actually said that, it would have made the all time top ten list, but either way, it happened.. and that is enough for me! Typhoid, e-coli, malaria, dysentery... aaah, ha ,ha,ha
7. They'rrrrrrreeee Baaaaaaaaaaccckkkk!!!!!
Anyone remember Love Cruise?
Anyone remember anyone on Love Cruise other than Toni?
Anyone remember anything Toni did on Love Cruise apart from cry a lot and bug out her eyes?
As some of you may know, Toni has reprised her role of "emotional roller-coaster" on Paradise Hotel.
Zack selects Toni as his room mate, Toni = relieved.
Scott selects Toni as his room mate, Toni = shocked, eyes bugged.
Alex selects Toni as his room mate, Toni = shocked, eyes in full bug, tears streaming, heart-breaking, love you like a brother, you're my best friend, I don't want to hurt you, got to do what I've got to do, I hope you understand, please don't hate me , full on quivering wreck.
Paradise Hotel struggles to be watchable, imagine how appaling it'd be without the gammut of emotions that is Toni.
6. Spoiler? - The whole damn thing stinks
Well it was another week on Fame with apparently only me, and a few die hard N'Sync fans watching Joey. This week instead if just watching the few kids who were 'ready to work’, they added in a spoiler. Did they pick an amateur , or a fresh face ? Not on your life. It was a hardened veteran of Janet, J-Lo and (OMG) Paula Abdul tours, who had also danced for Debbie at several of the awards shows she produced.
His feigned surprise reminded me of the fake "I won" rehearsals from Miss Congeniality. He was all gee golly gosh - You Picked MOI? - I'm all choked up.
They could have at least looked at one of the videos.
5. That's a One with a lot of zeros after it!
Rob dealt with the fallout of discovering that the women For Love or Money had been told that the woman Rob chose would win $1,000,000. That's a one, with a lot of zeros after it. Rob took each woman on an overnight date with this loaded information. Erin almost blew the big secret, the secret Rob was already aware of, when she told him that whoever won would take the others to Las Vegas. When Rob became unusually quiet and free from witty banter, Erin knew something was wrong... but couldn't figure it out! Fortunately for her, Rob could smell out a gold digger and threw out Kelly on her red Gucci behind.
4. Alex – icon
Once in a while a reality show contestant will, through their words or actions, ensure their name is remembered.
To reality tv fans, talking in a baby voice at semi-stressfull times is "doing a Trista". Someone being unable to make a decison on their own is an "Amber".
Survivor fans still make boot predictions claiming to have first consulted "Lex's Gut".
Thanks to Alex of Paradise Hotel and a seemingly out of character display of over-emotion and an absense of clear thinking from Beau, we now have another term for consideration.
During a conversation with Amanda, the root cause of Beau's strange actions, Alex branded his behaviour as "Bull crap, it's Beau crap, Beau crap".
Ok Alex, we geddit!
3. Do You Want Fries With That?
This week on Star Dates, Mary McDonough, better known as Erin from The Waltons, was introduced to Chris. He was tall, dark, handsome, and had a love for wearing a vest with no shirt.
Chris also had a huge appetite, or so we were led to believe. At dinner, he ordered first one, then two, then three entrees, all while Mary watched in horror. Add in six appetizers, and you have yourself a $271 dinner check from a less than swanky LA restaurant. How did Chris eat all that food you ask? Well, he didn’t. Instead Chris boxed up a weeks worth of food to take home with him. As they left the restaurant, they nearly had to call in porters from a local hotel to carry the food out. Meanwhile, all of this, surprisingly, didn’t make a very good impression on Mary.
So, in Springeresque fashion, what have learned boys and girls? Well, if your date is going bad, and someone else is picking up the tab, then grab all you can! There may not be a free lunch, but no one said anything about a free dinner, or three.
2. Calgon, Take Me Away
A beautiful marble-tiled jetted tub, filled with luxurious bubbles. Candles line the edge of the bath, their flames casting a soft glow over the peaceful setting. Any thought that this is a scene from the latest reality TV dating show are quickly erased as you realize that sitting in the tub is the pasty-white torso and hang-dog face of Last Comic Standing's own Dave Mordal. As the camera pans back to reveal more of the tub, we listen to Dave’s understated, mellow tones as he describes a moment from this week in the Hollywood Mansion. Could the hilarity of this scene be any more bizarre? That question is answered when the view widens and we find that the tub is being shared by tough-guy comic Rich Vos. At least Rich had the decency to keep his hat on.
1.What's The World Coming To?
Indeed, what has become of the world when a quality reality television program like Meet My Folks must resort to gimmicky carnival tricks to further its storyline? Part II of The Dappers episode this week featured a unique method of delivering the grim message that one of the girls must be booted from the competition. Upon leaving Marco's final date at the animal pet-and-give-a-bottle-to-a-torium, Mom and Dad received a surprise hitchhiker in the back of their surveillance van. A dark, hairy, toothy face emerged from the shadows, revealing...a trained chimpanzee. The chimp smoothly and quietly boarded the outbound van, and the music took on a foreboding tone that suggested we'd soon see the van laying on its side on a country road with its tires still spinning and Mom & Dad nowhere to be found.
Disappointingly, however, everyone arrived home safely. The chimp's mission was revealed over dinner when he mounted the grand steps of Dapper Manor and somehow (off camera) rang the doorbell. When Dad answered the door, the chimp handed off the instructions and began the first complicated steps of what appeared to be an accompanying dance. But Dad slammed the door in the chimp's face and walked off.
The final irony of the chimp's visit occurred when Ana was excused from the competition for Marco's undying love. Having been labeled cold and emotionless, Ana proved the doubters wrong by hauling the brooding chimpanzee in for a warm hug. The two losers then held hands and headed down the winding driveway together, hopeful that an exciting new chapter in their lives was about to begin.
Thanks to the FORT writers who contributed this week. In alphabetical order, they are: Bill_in_PDX, Bumpkin, enygma, firegirl, fluff, Miss Filangi, Paulie, Wayner, wolf