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POLE DANCING, PRANCING, AND BREASTS
ANYTHING FOR LOVE
What is it? Well at first I thought it was going to be a show about people willing to sacrifice or do crazy proposals a show about just how far some people are willing to go for love. I got part of it right, sacrifice and crazy. It’s a show about crazy people sacrificing what bit of dignity they have in the name of “love” read obsession. So my answer to what is Anything for Love? A prostitute or a John take your pick!
Our host and hostess for this humility orgy will be Mark Wahlberg (the non famous one) and Claudia DiFolco they too are a part of the I will do anything club only they will do anything to have a “job “on TV.
Maryann vs. Ginger
Ahh the age old question who would you pick? MaryAnn or Ginger? Well for Amy it seems her husband married MaryAnn but likes to go out and play with Ginger. Amy and Matt have been married just under a year. Matt is bored already and goes to strip clubs where he likes to get lap dances and watch the girls.
Amy can’t stand the thought of her loving husband loving someone else so they are currently separated. Amy is willing to do anything to save her marriage. So, of course the producers are willing to help her. Amy is going to a favorite club of Matt’s to learn how to strip. She plans to do a major dance number and win back her husband. Ok and this is all that’s wrong in this marriage? This is all it takes to hold a relationship together? Well, damm why did I get divorced, call the baby sitter while I prance down to the Fluff my Kitty and save my marriage!
Amy goes through a few practice moves with a pro. They are clothed so this is not pay per view. Devon teaches Amy a few pole tricks, and Amy is a little up tight until Devon turns it into stripper boot camp shouting are you Ginger or Maryann? Ginger, Amy cries. Devon says she is giving Amy some love advice in that it’s time to make it or break it. Wow, love advice from a stripper! I need to write that down; Dr Phil should bring her in for sweeps.
The time has come and Matt arrives at the club, Amy dons a masquerade mask and makes her entrance. Oh my God Matt exclaims she is like the chick in Eyes Wide Shut! Well Matt hold on to your shorts buddy! Amy does her routine then proceeds to climb on Matt’s lap and whips off her mask. Matt’s reaction is positive she is hot and wow she did this for him she loves him and wants him wants their marriage.
In the end Matt and Amy are going to make it work. Of course Matt is installing a stage and pole in the bedroom and Amy is agreeing to wear the mask. Guess he got Ginger.
Madame Librarian
Richard now takes the show into a new realm. Of course I thought there was a WB show called Cheaters but oh well he will do anything for love including catching his girlfriend cheating. Of course he has to set a trap but Richard wants to know.
Richard says his Librarian girlfriend Yanni also an aspiring actress has a pager and it goes off constantly and she goes to pay phones to call back despite the fact that he has a phone right there. They have been dating a year and she is also extremely flirty and gives her number out constantly. Ok, Richard, SHE IS CHEATING! But, I guess Richard found the Jerry Springer forum either dull or they found him dull.
The trap for Yanni is that a “photographer” wants her to do some shots for him and he will come on to her while Richard watches. Is this predictable? Yes, I’m sorry to breeze through this but since I couldn’t do that while watching I will spare you the agony! He comes on to her asks her out and she agrees in a heart beat. Richard confronts her and she says I am just friendly a giver. Richard is having none of that he says it’s over.
Yanni spouts off in Spanish and says they will talk about it later.
Moving on..
Now we have a bit of the surprise the girl for love approach. Sarah is a girl in the audience she is asked to come up on the stage. We learn that Ranick has met Sarah two times and just knows she is his soul mate. He has not stopped thinking of her all these years. They do a montage of photos of Sarah with a voice over of him talking about all her traits and like you , I’m sure, I am wondering where all these photos came from since he has only met her twice. Stalker with a fancy lens I am thinking.
Ranick makes his appearance on stage and Sarah looks horrified. Ranick makes a speech to Sarah about how he feels she is his soul mate and he just couldn’t let her walk away because he is so drawn to her and wants a chance with her. I truly saw someone at a loss for words for the first time. This poor girl stammered and stuttered and looked for the nearest exit, eventually she was able to get out that at first she thought he was cool but that they are very different people and well just not for her. Mark ( the host ) quickly ends that segment and we are off to our next one!
Shock and Awe
Sit up in you chairs now this is the highlight of the night. It was very hard to watch I mean I was cringing for all those rose less bacelorettes over on ABC and for rejected women everywhere in general. Well, really for all women. Thanks a lot NBC!
Meet Holly. Holly and her ex boyfriend , Ben, broke up two years ago. Your getting a sense of where this is going right? Holly wanted a commitment and Ben didn’t. Fair enough, but if you read between the lines you should see Holly was psycho and clingy and Ben ran for his LIFE!
Holly feels something is missing ( her meds cough, cough) and just knows it is Ben. She wants to get his attention. Holly says Ben is in a relationship he can’t be happy in and she is afraid he is going to marry this girl and she wants to help him realize the mistake he is making.
Holly’s plan is to drive a semi-truck with her picture as a bill board on the side to his office. The text next to her face reads “ Ben don’t marry her marry me” ! In a voice over we hear Holly saying that she believes 100% that he will leave his girlfriend for her after this exclamation of her love. She cries that she just hasn’t been able to get him to hear her and that he is supposed to be with her! Oh my gosh! He can’t hear you because he is continually hanging up on you and closing doors in your face I am betting! I guess she can also use the truck to run Ben over if he rejects her again. I am guessing that is going to be the outcome.
As the truck arrives with Holly driving, Ben comes outside his office to see what is going on. Ben looks like your typical nice guy, and he is in a shirt and tie minus the suit jacket. I was hoping that she would be pulling up in front of a gym or hamburger joint but nope she pulled up in the middle of executive square. I am pretty sure if you want to make sure to run a guy off the best way to do that is follow this example. Nothing like putting him on the spot, at his work, on TV, during business hours. Ben wants to know what’s going on and she tells him this is his chance to break his engagement to this other girl and come back to her. He informs us he isn’t engaged. Whew, no forseeable church bombing. Holly asks if he loves her and he says no.
Holly keeps arguing that this is his chance and begs him to do the right thing. Folks this was hard to watch. Poor Ben keeps trying to get away and the host of the show helps to hold him captive! She asks him if he is sure and how will he feel if he never hears from Holly again. Well, his answer is pretty firm , he will be fine if he never hears from her again! Ben is going crazy trying to get away from Holly’s begging and crying for him to love her and to get out of the relationship he is in.
Eventually Holly gives up and tells the camera I just didn’t get it that he really wanted to be over. Uh Holly that is the first thing you have gotten today! I am expecting the white coats to arrive any second. Ben and his girlfriend should move, get in a witness protection program and don’t open any wedding gifts they may receive!
GOING UP?
The show takes another ride down hill or maybe it’s just a thing that will be part of the show all the time. Another cheater segment. Well, another cheater setup. Lori says her boyfriend of seven months talks about other women all the time. Ok, Lori maybe you and Richard should hook-up. Jose’ is lured to an audition, he is an actor too. Note to self do not date struggling actors, do the Jennifer Anniston thing and wait till they are mega stars. Jose is approached by a big pair of breasts wearing long hair and long legs. The big breasts talk and ask Jose’ out to dinner after the audition.
Jose’ follows the breasts into the elevator where the breasts stop the elevator to get his phone number and information. When the doors open Lori is standing outside doing her best impression of the Taco Bell dog “ Jose’ drop the chalupa ( I think that is breasts in taco dog language) Jose wants to talk somewhere else but Lori says it’s over so pretty much asta la vista, whopper!
LOVE DETECTOR
We are promised that the next segment will be a couple who want to get married on the show after they take the love detector test. This is reality TV code for a lie detector test.
The engaged couple Dan and Annie have about 7 minutes to wrap up this show. They each take the test and Annie admits in a voice over that she is afraid her rock and roll boyfriend will or has cheated on her while on the road. Annie is also worried about her 71/2 advantage in age.
Both are hooked up to the machine, the test guy looks just like the guy on Meet My Folks. They ask Dan if he has ever cheated and Dan says no, well of course the red light goes on and that means he is lying. The test guy doesn’t do the thumbs up or thumbs down on this show, so it must not be the same guy.
Annie appears devastated and Dan swears up and down he has never cheated. He loves her very much and he knew this would be a question and he was so nervous about it because he really wants to marry her and didn’t want to fail the test. Sadly, I like this guy and he isn’t really a jerk, he seems very sincere. Annie says she believes him and they practically run to the middle of the stage to take their vows. The vow exchange takes place with the simple I do, that was it, well, it was all they had time for since they were kissing over the credits.
And that is what people are willing to do for love. Now I see that we had two successful stories if you call them that. I am betting that NBC doesn’t have even one successful episode with this show. I watched to see who the sponsors were for this show and I saw the Slim Fast commercial and pre-views for Sinbad the movie three times. I don’t think they have sponsors.
Well, I just can’t wait to see what people will do next week for “ love”! After they round up this bunch and send them to “group” maybe the next show will feature the other “inmates” at the funny farm out on their weekend pass
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