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Thread: Some of my favorite quotes

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    The race is back! John's Avatar
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    Some of my favorite quotes

    These are some of my favorite quotes from The Osbournes:

    Kelly: "Jack, stop telling people you're Ozzy Osbourne's son to get into places, you're a f*ing loser!"

    Ozzy: "You don't need to hire a dog therapist, you just need to wake up at 7 am and open the f*ing door!"

    Jack: "I'm an *ss-kicking fat kid."

    Ozzy: "I love you all. I love you more than life itself, but you're all f*ing mad."

    Sharon: "Martha Stewart can lick my scrotum!......... Do I have a scrotum?"

    Kelly: "Your valet guy just farted in my car and it smells un-godly."

    Ozzy: "International rock star - gravy maker extraordinaire."

    Sharon: "The virgin Mary speaks to me. She says you must go to Tiffany. And on the way, stop at Cartier."

    Ozzy: "Bubbles?! Oh come on Sharon! I'm f*ing Ozzy Osbourne, I'm the Prince of f*ing Darkness. Evil! Evil! What's f*ing evil about a sh*tload of bubbles!?"

    Kelly: "She's p*ssing in the bottle....just like she sh*t in Dad's bag of weed in Hawaii."

    Ozzy (about Jack): "He's up in his room planning his future."
    Sharon: "The only thing he's planning is his next wank; whether he's going to use his left hand or his right hand. "

    Edited because I missed an f-bomb
    Last edited by John; 11-30-2002 at 11:04 AM.

  2. #2
    everyone's a critic... holly71's Avatar
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    Classics. All of them. I'm sure there will be plenty more to add from this season as well ~ the Prada comment being one of them.
    Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

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    FORT Fan Iamsohooked's Avatar
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    "Ozzy: "I love you all. I love you more than life itself, but you're all f*ing mad.""



    My absolute favorite quote from Ozzy. I grugding watch this show but the bleep makes my head hurt. My teen boys all listen to Ozzy music - started before the show. I find Ozzy rather profound at times and truly comic. I hate the swearing, find the kids to be idiots but can't stop watching Sharon and Ozzy - they are the stars.

  4. #4
    eny
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    Great quotes !

    I love Ozzy too. The prince of darkness asking Sharon where "the babies" were at his birthday was so sweet.

  5. #5
    Yoffy lifts a finger... fluff's Avatar
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    Yes it was Eny, that was a great moment.
    Love the "wank" comment from Sharon, that's too funny
    "That's Numberwang!"

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    FORT Fanatic ClaraBella's Avatar
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    I don't watch this show but I was watching the MTV greatest highlights of the year in review and they showed Ozzie Osbourne getting ready to go onstage for a concert, his wife badgering him about having a bubble machine on stage. Ozzie turns to her and says "I don't want no F*ing bubbles!" and walks over to a directors chair, sits down and the thing collapses underneath him. He is just lying there on the floor and no one is paying any attention to him. Some guy looks over and sees him lying on the floor and just continues his conversation without a second thought of it. Just left him lying on the floor there. It was outrageously funny!

  7. #7
    The race is back! John's Avatar
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    Yep, that's from last season. One of the more hilarious moments.

    In fact, the Bubbles quote is listed in the first post in this thread...Scroll up and you'll see, it's pretty funny.

    And the guy who just looks in on Ozzy says a little later, while shaking his head "it just never ends with Ozzy."

  8. #8
    JR.
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    Drummer / Model JR.'s Avatar
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    My new favorite:
    "Fish like cheese, sometimes...some fish like cheese."

  9. #9
    FORT Fanatic ClaraBella's Avatar
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    Did anyone happen to see the other highlight on mtv where they are arguing with their neighbors over the noise at Ozzies house and his wife starts chucking fresh hams over the backyard fence and hits the neighbors' kid? LMAO

  10. #10
    FORT Fanatic ClaraBella's Avatar
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    Is it just me or are they really hard to understand? I watched the show for the first time last night and seems like they are mumbling when they talk. But goodGawd are they funny!

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