Boy, that week went by quickly!
I guess I must be looking forward to this show or something. The kids come on stage and you guessed it, they are ready to work again. The dancing has improved by leaps (hee) and the clothes have too. This week everyone is in cast off painter clothes, except for Moy, who was dressed by army surplus. I guess they are trying to convey work as in construction. Still not as bad as last week.

Todd Evans, Serena Henry, Ryan Chotto, Brandon O’Neal, and Michelle Livigne, are our six finalists this week.

Debbie and Joey take center stage and intro the judges. Carnie, after taking criticism for wearing a hammock last week, decides to wear a negligee for this show. Well at least it’s an improvement. Joey makes a crack about JoJo’s hair. Aww I like him, he’s like a big kid.

I’m still trying to work out in my brain why Joey is even there. I conclude they are trying for the obvious ratings grab of the N’Sync fans, who will just tune in to see him in real time. Debbie seems to be doing most of the hosting, and it’s all very awkward.

I’m watching the show live this week instead of taping, and it ticks me off when I can’t fast-forward the commercials. I really hate living in the land of no Tivo sometimes.

First up is Brandon O’Neal from Knoxville Tenn. He wants his name in lights and wants to be equal to Michael Jackson. Seriously Brandon I don’t think you do. He says, “If you think dancing is sissy, just try it”. That is so true, I’d lay odds that the majority of sports figures couldn’t live through one dance class.
He performs Stevie Wonders, I Wish. The singing is ok, but he’s channeling Mikey on the dance .He’s obviously watched the weird ones videos repeatedly, and he’s good.
Jonny says the vocals impressed him, and that he’s pretty smooth at 16. He says Brandon has it all.
Carnie said he had an adorable face, and that the dancing “freaked her out” She also notes how good he is for 16.
JJ says he would be an easy sell to an audience, that he’s raw now, and to keep working.
Debbie and Joey smile and make small talk. Strangest part of the whole show is these two after the performances.

Next up, Michelle Livigne from Boca Raton. She claims to have been class president every year, and had to miss her prom to come here.
They make this poor kid sing the song I hate most in the world. Something about “Black Velvet” just makes me want to puncture my eardrums. Maybe it’s just the Alanna Myles version, because Michelle sings it very well. Unfortunately, for this poor kid someone has taught her a stripper dance to go along with the song. All she needs is a floor to ceiling pole and she’s set. It’s always good to have a profession to fall back on. It got Joey’s attention because the first thing he did when he walked up beside her was to grab her skirt, and say, "Ooo is this velvet?”

Jonny averts his eyes and tells her she looked uncomfortable with the song. He tells her to not let others choose what they think is right for her.
Carnie says the performance made her horny, that it was too sexual. Um yeah, Carnie thanks for sharing.
JJ is bouncing up & down in his chair saying Mama is Hot. He’s been in strip clubs before I guess. He turns things around, and says it was a bad choice as he sees her as the girl next door.
Well that’s one way to wow the judges, and Debbie is upset at their appraisal. She claims it’s who she is. I can’t judge honestly, since I hate the song so much, but she was portrayed as a hooch by the dance.

Joey takes this time, to go over the winners’ prizes with one slight change - Cash prize becomes cache of prizes. Someone wrote the cue cards wrong last week.

Todd Evans of North Bellmore NY is up next. He says he learned to dance by watching the Mickey Mouse club. I’m not sure whether to expect the moves of alumni Justin, Christina or Britney from that statement. I’m really distracted by the clothes again, as they’ve dressed him like Fez from that 70’s show. The 80’s were bad for clothes and hair, but yee gods the 70’s were much worse.
Todd sings yet another Stevie Wonder song- Overjoyed. Nice voice, but he moves like Larry Lounge Lizard.

Jonny picks up on this, and tells him he has a nice voice, but not recording star material.
Carnie- beautiful voice, good performance, but overdone
JoJo- Singing was nice, your movements choppy, but a nice job.
I’m liking the positive vibes, but a little Simon honesty would be welcome right about now. In Simons Place – That was horrible – you belong at the Holiday Inn
The best Debbie could come with is “you have a winning personality”

Bye Todd

Serena Henry takes the stage next. I remember this girl from the auditions, she was awesome. She won talent competitons at the Apollo, and was on tour with Gladys Knight. She gushes about boyfriend Tyree.
Serena sings I’m every Woman. Her voice is great, her dancing smooth and not at all like a stripper. I'm still wondering who choreographed poor Michelle’s dance.

Jonny wants to put her in the recording studio "right away."
Carnie says she is stunning and the comments “the beauty pours out of you”
JoJo says he’s done plenty of interviews and she has “IT”. I’m hoping he isn’t talking about tag. You never know if he is being serious.Debbie tells her she was magical.
Serena was very shy and simply said she had fun. Oh darlin’, you are gonna have to get some ‘tude to be a DIVA. It’s refreshing to see zero on the posturing scale though.

Ryan Chatto was next, from NYC. He used to be from Diamondhead Missouri, but was turfed out of town for daring to take a dance class. I take it the arts aren’t big there.
He performs Dancing in the Street. The only really good version of this song was the one performed by Bowie and Jagger in the 80’s. Ryan tries gamely, even throwing in a walkover while singing into his headmic. He is a great dancer, very cute, but the voice is pretty thin.

Jonny hates the song, but says the performance was “good”
Carnie needs a tranquilizer "after that", but allows he needs to improve the voice.
JoJo hates the song too, He says he noticed Ryan in the first show, but then he picked a poor song.

Last up is Jamieson Tiangco. She wins for having the coolest name. She’s worried about her Grandpas reaction to her short skirt. She also claims to have been kicked out of a studio by a producer who said he would make sure she never worked again. She waves Hi to the unknown scumbag. I can only imagine what led that person to be like that, so good for her. It was worth it to pull an Alanis on someone who tried to exploit her.
She sings Toni Braxton's You are Making Me High. She pulls off the Braxton like low notes, and the dancing is good despite the fact they have given her a ripped sheet to wear as a skirt. No wonder she was worried about Gramps. How embarrassing.

Jonny can’t wait to get her in the studio; she has “it” big ( the studios getting crowded Jonny)
Carnie says she has an “amazing voice”
And well, JoJo just says “will you marry me? I love you”. Poor JoJo isn’t going to make it through the competition as he is falling for every girl.
Debbie gushes about what a great group it was to work with. She might not make it through either. We have to get rid of some, and Debbie doesn’t want to get rid of any of her babies.

The group performance is Dance to the Music. Ryan and Brandon stand out; poor Todd looks like a geek they stuck on stage. Serena is rocking; they are all so much better with another week under their belt of Debbie Dance.

Mercifully, the wait is short for the winners. Please AI if you take nothing else from Fame take this. No jerking your audience around.
(In the commercial Fame has suddenly gone from a summer hit, to summers biggest sensation. Ok whatever, get back to the show.)
It’s Serena, Brandon, and then Joey pulls a Seacrest – who will the last one be?
Noooo that was the one good thing about this show .
Ok, it doesn’t last too long and no commercials, its JoJo’s girl Jamieson.Nice picks, and mom walks the losers off.

Next week is groups 3 and 4 as the Fame train wants us to get all heated up by supplying 2 episodes. We’ll see if it stands up to overkill.

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