(Registered members may comment here.)

Hey there, Survivor friends! In case you missed it last week, Ozzy put his tree climbing skills to use and found himself an immunity idol. He also formed an alliance of five with Jim, Keith, Elyse, and Whitney. Meanwhile, Coach also hooked up with an alliance of five. Five must be the magic number. Brandon, consumed by guilt, confesses to Coach that he is Russell’s nephew. Savaii wins immunity at the challenge and Coach sees this as an opportunity to get rid of Christine. Lil Hantz, however, struggles with whatever his issues are with Mikayla and pushes for her boot. He starts some false rumors that fall flat and comes clean at Tribal Council that he wants her gone. It’s no good though because in the end, the tribe sends Christine off to join Semhar on Redemption Island. Maybe they can use their time there to practice some poetry together. Or spoken words. Or whatever. Instead, Christine arrives and badmouths Coach, telling Semhar how he thinks he’s King Farouk. She believes that her tribe didn’t like the way she wanted to play the game right out of the box. Forget that she ran her mouth right out of the box.

She’s A Poet, Wish We Didn’t Know It

Coach and Stacy represent Upolu at the Redemption duel. Ozzy and Elyse show up for Savaii. Solitary confinement doesn’t look bad on Semhar. She’s braided her hair and it looks much better than that finger-in-the-light-socket look that she had going on before she was voted off. Too bad she couldn’t macramé some palm leaves or something into a shirt to cover that tired red bra though. It’s still hanging out. The duel will require concentration and balance. A wooden totem will be placed on top of a pole at Jeff’s go and at regular intervals, another section of pole will be added. The longer the pole gets, the more difficult it will be to keep it stable. The first person to let her totem fall is out of the competition and out of the game. Before Jeff can give them the go ahead to begin, Semhar launches into another dramatic poem about how she would take off her clothes and give birth to someone’s babies without the help of drugs to stay in the game. The others’ facial expressions range from “are you freaking kidding me?” to “WTF?” Mine was a combination of the two, really. The spoken word bit is getting as tired as that red bra she’s sporting. She tells Jeff that the spoken word recitation calms her. She finally shuts her pie hole and they finally get going. Another section of pole is added after a couple minutes. Both do so easily and soon thereafter, Jeff tells them to add another section. Semhar almost loses her totem, but recovers. Christine wobbles a bit as well but gets it together. Semhar’s totem eventually falls, ensuring Christine’s stay and her own exit from the game. She says that her tribe brought back so many memories from her past, memories of abandonment from having moved so many times. Jeff points out that though she struggles with these issues, she sought out this game. Christine boasts that she’s hoping to have a run like Matt’s from last season because she knows if she gets back in, she’ll win. Dream on, Christine.

Over at Upolu’s camp, Brandon is struggling with his lies about Mikayla in the last Tribal Council. He says God has been chastising him and he knows his family would be disappointed. He doesn’t want to lie and play games any more. Um…this is Survivor he signed up for, right? Dude! To clear his conscience, Brandon removes his shirt in front of everyone, allows them to see his tattoos, and comes clean about who he is. Stacy says, “Blam!” and that about sums it all up. What an idiot you are, Lil Hantz! He apologizes and says he accepts the consequences. He’d rather make friends than win a million dollars. It always makes me laugh when people go on reality tv contests like this and say they aren’t there for the money. Again, why did you sign up for this show? You could have made friends on Facebook. Mikayla doesn’t trust him. Coach thinks he made a mistake but believes Brandon is an asset to his alliance.

Papa Bear recognizes the pecking order in Savaii. He knows that he, Dawn, and Cochran are on the bottom so every competition is important to him. Ozzy feels a brother-like bond with Keith, even though he has an alliance with the others. So he decides to tell Keith about the idol that he found…stressing that it’s because he trusts him so much. Keith, the trustworthy one, runs straight to Whitney and fills her in. He wants Whitney to feel he trusts her in case he needs her vote if Ozzy gets jumpy and tries to make a power move. I think he’s crushing on her a little bit too.

Back at Upolu, Mikayla calls Brandon out. She wants to know what his problem is with her. He tells her that it’s because he doesn’t like her. Then he tries to say he’s sorry. She doesn’t get it(neither do I) and keeps going at him. He pulls all of the tribe together, I guess to try and prove to her that’s it’s not just him who doesn’t trust her. In front of the tribe, he tells her to look around and see who is loyal because she doesn’t have much of an alliance. No one has anything to say so he tells her to keep him out of the drama and walks away. There’s that awkward cricket silence as he goes. Sophie nails Brandon perfectly calling him a loose cannon torn between his crazy religious beliefs and being an inherent devious jerk. Brandon goes off to cry over the battle between good and evil and pray that God won’t let him sin any more. Mikayla also goes to cry, probably because her feelings are hurt and probably because she wants to hurt Lil Hantz. Coach and Sophie discuss how his outburst caused uneasiness in the alliance and the tribe. Coach says he is aggressive, just as Russell was but in a different way. They only hope he has no further outbursts. Good luck with that.

[b Does A Bear Run In The Woods?[/b]

This week’s immunity challenge is in the water. On Jeff’s go, one person from each tribe will race across a floating bridge carrying a body board attached to a rope. Once they reach the platform, they’re to grab a bag and hang on to the board as the rest of the tribe cranks a giant winch that will pull them to shore. Once all five bags are retrieved, the remaining tribe members will use grappling hooks to grab pull them up to the top of a wall. Each bag contains banners. Tribes must put the banners together to form their flag. First to do so wins immunity. They’re also playing for reward…coffee, tea, sugar, milk, chocolate, and cookies. The winning tribe will also get a clue to the location of the hidden immunity idol at their camp. Ozzy and Brandon are running for their tribes. Ozzy can’t get going the way he’d like to because his tribe doesn’t give him enough rope. Brandon easily makes it back ahead of him. Dawn is also running for Savaii while Albert and Mikayla take turns with Brandon for Upolu. Dawn makes up the time Ozzy lost and they gain the lead. Ozzy goes out a second time and makes up even more time. On a second run, however, Dawn falls into the water and Brandon passes her. Still, teams are close when they head out for the fifth and final bag. It’s a showdown between Ozzy and Albert. They’re pretty much neck and neck but Ozzy loses his board. They both get back with the bags and the rest is up to the teams of Coach/Edna and Elyse/Whitney. Upolu gets all of the bags up first. With Mikayla and Sophie on the ground guiding them on where to hang the banners, Coach and Edna easily solve their flag puzzle. Upolu wins immunity. Boo hoo for Savaii. Jim thinks that Papa Bear is the weakest link. He slows them down and should have been the first to go. Foreshadowing? Does a one-legged duck swim in circles?

Back at camp, Cochran thinks they were the stronger tribe. A lot of good it did them. Ozzy thinks Dawn kicked ass in the challenge so it’s basically a decision between Papa Bear and Cochran. Papa Bear and Cochran are well aware of their imminent demise. The others get together and decide it will be Papa but they’ll tell him it’s Cochran. They give Cochran the heads up but he’s worried that his name keeps coming up. Papa asks and they tell him it’s Cochran but he doesn’t buy it. He knows he’s on the block so he takes off frantically running as fast as he can…well…as fast as an old chubby guy who runs like a girl can run. Elyse sees him so she tells the others that he broke into a sprint through the woods and they go to spy on him. He’s digging furiously through the dirt searching for the immunity idol. Yeah, that one…the one that Ozzy already found. Poor Papa. He searched and searched and couldn’t find the idol, of course. So he did the next best thing. He made a fake one to try to fool everyone into voting for Cochran instead of him. He takes the faux idol and sticks it in his saggy undies. They see him stroll back into camp with the bulge in his drawers. He then tells Jim that he has the idol. Jim isn’t sure what to do since he might actually have it. Cochran points out that he could be faking to throw them all off. And Ozzy, well Ozzy is sitting back having a laugh at how everyone is freaking out because he has the real deal.

At Tribal, Jeff calls out Cochran asking if he’s defensive in life. Cochran says that Ozzy is the leader in their tribe and they all follow him. Papa says he would like to be a leader but others are taking control and he doesn’t have a choice. Dawn says that she feels she, Papa, and Cochran are sometimes on the outs but that is changing daily. Papa disagrees, telling her she knows she isn’t one of the five. Jim says the idol is a significant tool in the game but playing it only gets you three more days. Jeff calls out Ozzy’s mistake of holding on to the idol the last time he played, saying in that case playing the idol could have gotten him more than three days. They go to vote with Cochran saying that it’s about fostering trust in your tribe, not finding an individual immunity idol. Votes are tallied and Papa Bear is sent to Redemption Island. The bulge in his pants wasn’t big enough for the tribe to keep him.

Next week, Cochran tries to mastermind an Ozzy blindside while Russell becomes even more paranoid. Is that possible? Tune in and see. And I’ll be back to dish the scoop.