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Welcome back to another week of the Housewives. This week, we are treated to an adventure outside of New Jersey. The whole cast is off on a trip to Punta Cana, to try to make everything as good as it was before. I’m pretty sure that will never happen. Let’s jump in and enjoy the beautiful tropical scenery, and tolerate the rest of the show.

My excessive number of bags are packed…
The show kicks off at Brother Joe and Melissa’s house as they pack for Punta Cana. Melissa shows Joe her new bathing suit. Joe grabs one of Melissa’s bathing suits bottoms and smells it. I immediately barf. What is wrong with these people? We then head over to Husband Joe and Teresa’s house. Teresa is also flashing her bathing suits around and then reminds us that she will be the hottest person in Punta Cana. I don’t know about hottest, but I’m sure she’ll be the bitchiest. Everyone else is packed and ready to go as well. It’s going to be quite the trip.

Finally, everyone is headed off to the airport and unfortunately, we are informed that everyone is planning to have lots of sex. I really didn’t need to know that. Once the plane lands in Punta Cana, the group collects their bags and unfortunately, Teresa has lost 1 of her 9 bags. She then continues to whine about it to anyone who will listen. I feel bad for all of them as her whining voice shrieks across the airport.

Everyone jumps into the cars to go to the resort. Teresa is still whining about the lost bag. I want to just gouge my eardrums out. During the ride, Husband Joe asks the driver to pull over so he can pee. No one seems shocked by this behavior and most of the other men jump out and join him. Really, you are all peeing on the side of the road and think that’s okay. I’m seriously embarrassed for these people.

We’re on vacation! Woo Hoo!

The group arrives at the hotel, The Hard Rock resort. The groups check into their rooms and I cannot wait to see how Caroline and Albert deal with sharing a villa with Teresa and Husband Joe. Everyone else settles into their villas and for some unknown reason, I now know what women on the trip are on their period. These people have no class.

The next morning, everyone is getting ready to go on a fun boat cruise. Caroline looks awful. I can only guess that Teresa has literally annoyed her to near death. As Caroline sits in misery, Teresa decides to model all her bathing suits. In addition, she also rattles on with her annoying squealing. You can see the misery in Caroline’s face more and more each time Teresa comes around. Everyone, except Caroline, heads off for the boat trip.

The group boards the boat and the fun begins. Well, after Teresa and Melissa take sexy photos on the dock. You know typical vacation behavior. Cathy puts it best when she says, “everyone knows there can only be one Punta princess.” Once on the boat, insecurity flows from the women, except Teresa and Melissa. It’s sad, all the other women seem like decent people where Teresa and Melissa are not nice people.

The boat sails, rum gets drunk, and lots of partying is done. Surprisingly, the afternoon goes by smoothly and very little arguing is done. It’s good to see that these people can somewhat get along. As everything seems to be going well, the men jump in the water for chicken fights. It’s pretty funny and a bit odd.

And…the Bitch is back!

After the lovely boat ride, everyone is dropped off at the beach for a nice dinner and time to hang out. Most of the group heads off to the bathroom for a quick break and Brother Joe tries to entice Melissa into a little quickie in the bathroom. So romantic! He isn’t stealth about it and everyone knows what’s going on. There is a window in the stall that Joe and Melissa are using and they are busted. Once again, so classy.

Over on the beach, Rich, Husband Joe, Teresa, and Albert are talking about the restaurant business. Rich tells the group they aren’t doing the restaurant thing anymore. Husband Joe says that Albert doesn’t know about restaurants. Albert asks him how so. Joe of course can’t explain any difference between a restaurant and a banquet hall. Cathy joins the group and then all hell breaks loose. Albert is just laying into Joe about how the restaurant business is tough, but Joe has no interest in listening.

Cathy mentions that she doesn’t want to detach herself from her kids to run a business. For some reason, Teresa thinks this is a direct attack on her and just completely flips out on Cathy. Teresa is straight up crazy. There, I’ve said it. I really get the impression that Albert and Caroline are over Teresa and Joe. The reunion and future seasons will be interesting to see what happens between these two families.

Cathy and Teresa continue to fight. Someone tells Husband Joe to break it up. He doesn’t it the most sensible way possible, by running into the group telling them to shut up. Greg, the Manzo boy’s friend, sums it up the fight the best. “Somewhere this same argument is happening…between 3rd graders.” Greg is awesome and he has some of the best one-liners this episode.

Next Week
Make sure to tune in next week to watch Teresa pick more fights, beautiful scenery, and to watch Caroline roll her eyes at everything Teresa says. Good times!