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This recap covers events in the house from noon Thursday to noon Friday, BB time.

Hey there, live feeders! We’re nearing the end and things are winding down as far as feed watching goes. I mean, there isn’t nearly as much action in the house when you’re down to five as there was in the beginning. Before the live show, Rachel and Jordan were tight-lipped as to how they were voting. They wanted it to be a “surprise.” It was no surprise to us, however. They sent Shelly to Jeff and Brendon in Jury Town and left Kalia looking like a fool for voting out Adam. The show ended with houseguests battling for HOH in a sticky competition where they were fetching donuts. It was similar to the caramel competition last season that nearly killed Kathy. Remember that one? Now you might think that Kalia would have this one wrapped up since it involves food, but not so. She wasn’t looking so good when the show ended. Her big butt kept getting hung up on the rolling pin. All the donuts she’s ever eaten are slowing her down. Physically, this one seems to be Rachel’s competition. She seems to have it wrapped up at the end of the show.

And when feeds come back, we quickly learn that Rachel indeed won the competition becoming the new HOH. Duh…this one was a no brainer. It was Rachel’s to lose. I mean, you’ve got Adam and Kalia who can barely move because they’ve eaten one too many donuts. And you’ve got Jordan who, God love her, wants to win but couldn’t punch her way out of a paper bag. This makes five HOH wins for Rachel. She’s second only to Janelle now who has six wins. Rachel apologizes to Jordan for winning. She knew Jordan really wanted it. Jordan, in turn, apologizes for being such a sucky partner. Rachel tells her it’s okay but not to call her a handful again. Apparently, she didn’t appreciate Jordan’s comments during the live show. Ha, trouble in fake BFF paradise? Jordan is second guessing their decision to vote out Shelly a little bit. She feels bad for Shelly. Rachel tells her the choice was made and it’s done. They need to move on now and don’t ever tell Adam what she’s feeling. He needs to feel safe with their alliance. She doesn’t want him turning on them. Jordan is also bummed that she didn’t do a better job. Rachel tries to pump her up, tells her not to worry about it. Still, Jordan doesn’t it to look like she’s only there because Rachel carried her. They briefly discuss game…Jordan thinks maybe they should make a deal with Kalia and break up Porsche and Adam by getting rid of Porsche this week. Rachel doesn’t think Kalia would honor a deal and their strategy talk is interrupted when Kalia comes in talking about an injury she got during the competition. Don’t know how this girl is always getting hurt. If she didn’t say it was her leg, I would think she might have choked trying to sample a donut.

Rachel gets her HOH room early. She has pictures of her and Brendon from last season when he has hair. The girls say that he looks like Maksim from Dancing With The Stars but let me just set the record straight. He in no shape, no form, not even a little tiny bit, no way in HELL does he resemble the hotness that is my fantasy boyfriend, Maksim Chmerkovskiy. Now that we’ve cleared that up…Rachel’s HOH letter is super long. It’s from her mom and mostly talks about wedding stuff. Her basket is packed and she got hooked up. Her mom sent a sequined tank that she wanted her to bring in the first place. She also got a Rascal Flatts CD, a deodorant, a jewelry box, wine, tea, monster rehab, v-8, pretzels, non-fat greek yogurt, broccoli, edaname, fresh guacamole and lots of salsa, Natural Glow, hair color, a Ped Egg. Again, she got hooked up. She offers her goodies to everyone. Over and over, she says she wishes Brendon was there. They tell her he IS. He’s all over the room. His pictures are everywhere. Jordan can’t wait to use Rachel’s Ped Egg but I’m a little icked out that they would share something like that. I love my bestie but I don’t want her dead skin in my Ped Egg. Sorry, hon. And they’re only fake BFFs anyway.

Adam and Jordan talk a little game. He’s fiending for a smoke because they’re still locked inside when she warns him not to get sucked in by her sex appeal. She believes Porsche will try to use it to persuade him back to their side. Adam says they are friends but it will take more than that to work him. They say Kalia is playing the “Feel Sorry For Me Card.” She’s probably just in mourning over all of those donuts going to waste in the backyard. Anyway, Adam tells her that Rachel has to put the two of them up because if she puts him and Kalia up, Porsche could win POV and pull her off. Then either he or Jordan will be gone. Jordan tells him that Rachel is smart and she knows what’s up. Jordan leaves and Kalia comes in. She tries to save her ass with Adam over the vote. Adam tells her not to worry about it, he’s still there. She blows smoke, telling Adam that she thought she was voting with the house and Rachel and Jordan changed their minds at the last minute. They signaled to each other and she didn’t know what it meant.

While Kalia is downstairs lying to Adam, Jordan is upstairs filling Rachel in. They try to decide who should go this week. Rachel points out that she’s good at questions but she’s also come in second at every endurance competition. She held her own in the donut competition and also in the competition with Jeff. But there’s also Porsche who has been neck and neck with them. The next HOH competition is big but the POV is what really counts. Jordan worries about how sketchy it will look that they’re upstairs for so long. Like people don’t already know they’re together. Sweet Jordan. They finally decide that Kalia is more dangerous and has to go. If she wins POV and comes off the block, Porsche will do.

Kalia makes her way to the HOH room and makes her pitch to stay in the house this week. She pitches an all girl final four to Rachel telling her that her goal this week would have been to get Adam out. She goes on to say that she’s been very honest and hasn’t lied to anyone in this game. She believes that she and Rachel are very similar in that they’re both competitors and believe in battling it out no matter the cost. *yawn* She would rather sit with Rachel at the end than with Adam who has done nothing. I’ll give her this much…she knows that Rachel wants to play the game and sit with a competitor at the end, so that’s what she’s selling her. She tells Rachel that she won’t mind taking 2nd place to someone like her. *cough*bullcrap*cough* Rachel says that she’s scared because she believes that no matter who wins next week, she’ll be the target. She believes what Kalia is saying but she also thinks that Kalia is the type of person that would vote someone out because they could beat her in the end. Rachel later fills Jordan in on everything and says Kalia was like, “if it’s me and you in the final two, Rachel..blah, blah, blah.” And Rachel says she was thinking, “It will never be you and me in the final two.”

This morning, Rachel again tells Jordan about how Kalia completely tossed Porsche under the bus with a final two offer. The Rachel comes close to figuring out the timing of the week’s evictions. She wonders if someone will be evicted on Sunday, bringing them down to four. Jordan says that would be cool but just the thought of it makes her more nervous. Talk turns to Shelly and the infamous dognapping incident. Rachel can’t believe Shelly did that. It makes her just as bad as the other girls. Rachel then notices that the fish food packets end way before they thought the finale would be. This really has them questioning the timeline of the week. They wonder if there will be a night time veto or another fast forward. Rachel cautions Jordan not to tell Adam or the girls. Jordan makes a push for Kalia to go this week saying even Adam wants it. Then speculation moves to a possible luxury competition. Jordan says she always has good luck when country music is played in the mornings. She says she’s good at the social game but Rachel is good at competitions. Rachel says she does help, that it’s a help just having her there. Rachel does better knowing someone is depending on her.

Kalia and Porsche are also speculating about what’s going on. Kalia hopes it’s a luxury comp where they get to leave the house. Porsche asks who she would choose if she gets to pick one person to go with her. Kalia doesn’t know…maybe Porsche to have fun, or maybe Rachel as strategy. Kalia says one good thing is that of the next two people out, one of them always wins America’s Juror. Fat chance that she’ll be winning that one! They then move on to talk about Jeff. She thinks his popularity with America has dropped and he’s no longer the favorite. Wrong again, Kalia. America is still gaga over the guy, even with the Dumbledore thing. They wonder about Shelly’s fan base because they notice she didn’t get a lot of applause on the live show. If they only knew…

Random Unimportant Things You Might Want To Know…or maybe not
  • Rachel needs deodorant and wants Secret or even Dove. She requests it from the DR.
  • Rachel was shocked at Shelly’s exit speech. Kalia didn’t like it at all. That was evident by her face on the live show.
  • Jordan says if she was offered a Pandora’s Box, she would open it.
  • The think the next veto will be the morph or OTEV. I’m thinking OTEV with the fortune teller. That would be cool, no?
  • They all think Shelly will lie about how she got voted out and make up stories for her. Funny stuff like there was a nuclear leak and everyone died. Or the sorceress gave me a power that said I had to leave.
  • Talk turns to Dani and Rachel refers to her as their “master.” Kalia is offended, saying people thought she was playing for Dani but she’s been playing her own game. Funny though, right after feeds came from the HOH comp, she said that Dani would be “ so disappointed” in her.
  • I read on another site that people are calling Kalia and Porsche the Muffin Top Alliance. Now there’s a name that fits.

Feeds are briefly blocked and when they return, Rachel is locked out of the HOH room. Houseguests are now expecting Pandora’s Box. Rachel asks Jordan what she should do if they offer her a honeymoon. She asks if Jordan would take it. Jordan says yes, she would. She advises Rachel to check it out first. If it looks good, take it. And if she doesn’t have a good feeling about it, don’t. Rachel says that it could be something bad for the house, something like Dani coming back for 24 hours. But it could also be something good like a celebrity, Jordan says. Now either she’s a prophet or the DR has planted a seed. Jordan says if it was Carrie Underwood that it would be the best ever.

They all primp and fuss over what to wear. Porsche wants to crawl back into bed. *shocker* Rachel is wearing leather shorts. Adam loves them but Jordan thinks they’re going to make her butt sweat if she has to stand out in the sun. Feeds went out again at 10:40am, BB time for Pandora’s Box and just before the close of my shift they returned. It was a luxury competition. Rachel did open the Pandora’s Box. She was stuck with Jessie in Speedo that barely covered his butt…ugh! How many times can this loser come back? Doesn’t he have a real job?...while the others got Tori Spelling and a shopping spree. Jessie signed some stuff for Rachel and her family with “Mr. Pectacular, Caught You Looking.” That should get her a few bucks on eBay. Sounds like Jordan grabbed some stuff for Rachel too and Adam is starstruck over meeting the 90210 great.

And that’s it...Jessie in a Speedo. The gorilla suit was better, at least it covered his face. Rachel should win this season now based solely on the fact that she was stuck with pinhead Jessie. She gets my vote.