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Before I let you know all of the details surrounding the big double eviction episode of Big Brother, I'd just like to give a huge shout out and thanks to my fellow FORT writer, MFWalkoff. When I told him I couldn't stand another second of listening to Kalia talk like she has game, or stomach another minute of watching Daniele pout, he jumped right in and volunteered to take on the past two weeks of recaps for me. Yay!

Double eviction episodes are always exciting. And by exciting, I mean hectic and chaotic. First, we will see either Daniele or Kalia hit the road. I can't say I care who leaves. Daniele is less annoying, but she is also a gamer and that makes her a huge target. Kalia thinks she has done all of this amazing stuff in the game, but I must have missed that episode. Oh wait, she was HoH once, kicked Brendon off, and then Brendon got voted back in? Oh yeah, I saw that.

The episode begins with the lovely Ms. Chen taking the stage as per usual. She has on a pretty normal outfit, sleeveless shirt and dress pants, but her hair looks like a disheveled mess. Ah Julie, I thought you had it this week. After our usual recap of previous events, we are brought up to speed on the aftermath of the Daniele backdoor. Even though Daniele likes Kalia, she is going to campaign against her.

Daniele starts to work her magic on Shelly. She tells Shelly that Jordan and Rachel are both guaranteed Final 2. Shelly tells Daniele that she would consider throwing her a vote if Daniele won't put her up. Shelly then goes to Adam and tries to convince him that they can't beat Jeff and Jordan. She wants Adam to work with Dani too. Adam is hesitant because he doesn't know if he can trust Dani.

Shelly, now acting as Dani's little mouthpiece, doesn't think she can get Adam to keep Daniele so she sets her man-voice, leather-skinned sights on Rachel. She tells Rachel that Jeff threw the Cornhole competition, which was the competition that got Brendon sent home. Rachel runs to Daniele and Daniele confirms that Jeff threw it. Rachel throws it out there that maybe she'd like to work with Daniele and Porsche. She tells Daniele that if she votes to keep her, nobody is allowed to know.

Julie lets the houseguests know that it is indeed a double eviction week. They half heartedly clap. She gives Daniele and Kalia the chance to speak before the vote. Daniele stands up and says she loves the game and she thanks everyone at CBS who made it possible for her to be on again. I'm sure they only brought you along because they wanted your dad and he needed a partner, but continue. She says it saddens her that people can't think for themselves, blah blah. All I hear is whine whine, pout pout. She reminds everyone that she played the game while they just sat around and signed Jeff and Jordan's paychecks. Bitter much? Kalia stands up, gives the double peace sign, and says VOTE FOR ME!

It's time for the vote!

Jordan: Daniele
Porsche: Kalia
Shelly: Kalia
Rachel: Daniele
Adam: Daniele

With 3 votes, Daniele is eliminated. As she leaves, she tells everyone to step it up. She walks out to meet Julie and giggles that she's never had that walk of shame before. Oh I'm sure she's had a few walks of shame in her life. Oh wait, that's something different.

Julie tells Daniele that she was sitting pretty in the house and then she made the big move to try to get rid of Jeff but it didn't work. Daniele nervously laughs and blinks back tears (wow, I didn't know pouty robots cried), and claims that nobody trusted her enough to make the move with her, but she didn't plan on going back on the new deal she had with Jeff and Jordan. Shelly and Kalia leave her nice goodbye messages, but Rachel's makes me chuckle. Rachel says she could care less about Daniele's stupid jury vote and calls Daniele arrogant, rude, and a horrible bitch. She says Daniele isn't half the game player that her dad was. Zing!! I hope we see jury footage next week because Daniele and Brendon will be priceless!!

It's time for a whole week's worth of Big Brother jammed into a half hour! Put on your competition gloves folks, it's about to get crazy! The HoH competition is a Before/After style. Each player is in their own little cubicle and has to answer before or after.

Question 1: Did houseguests dress as cows and squeeze milk out of each other before or after they dressed up as superheroes for the power of veto?
Correct Answer: Before
Everyone got it correct

Question 2: Did houseguests count pepperonis on 2 giant pizzas before or after Daniele hit the cornhole in a veto competition?
Correct Answer: Before
Adam is eliminated

Question 3: At an eviction ceremony, did Dominic say, “I think we all suck at this game” before or after he said, “I think you guys need to man up and get some guts and fight”.
Correct Answer: After
Porsche, Rachel, Shelly all eliminated

Question 4: Were jerky and jelly beans revealed as the Have Not food before or after houseguests stuffed their mouths with gum for the power of veto?
Correct Answer: Before
Jordan is eliminated

Kalia is the HoH... her two brainless hags Porsche and Shelly cling to her. This can't be good for Jeff and Jordo. Kalia has to immediately make her nominations. She nominates Jeff and Rachel.

The veto competition is called “Clowning Around”. The players have to run across the yard and search for 2 yellow clown shoes in the ballpit at the end of their lane. After returning the shoes, they run back and get their veto symbol and hit the buzzer. Rachel finds a shoe first, followed by Shelly, Porsche, and Jeff. Porsche finds her 2nd shoe, grabs her veto symbol, and hits the buzzer. Porsche wins the power of veto.

Julie announces that it's time for the veto meeting and everyone takes their seats, still out of breath. Rachel and Jeff get a chance to plead their cases. Rachel says taking her off the block is a good game move for Porsche. Jeff says his actions speak for themselves and he used the veto on her last week so returning the favor would be nice. Porsche decides not to use the veto because it's what Daniele would have wanted. Ugh. It's like she's dead or something. Do it for Daniele!!! Where's my barf bag?

I actually don't know how this one is going to go down, but I sure hope Jeff sticks around for eye candy purposes! Rachel gets a chance to speak and again tells people to do what is best for their game. Jeff tells Adam he is his boy and then even though he had a blow up with Shelly he tells her they worked together most of the game and she needs to respect him and respect Jordan. Jordan is already crying. Awww, Jordo. Let's see who is going home.

Jordan: Rachel
Porsche: Jeff
Adam: Rachel
Shelly: Jeff

It's a tie. Kalia has to cast the deciding vote. Kalia evicts Jeff. Awww, Big Jeff. *sniffle* That Shelly sure is a backstabber. Grrr. Jordan and Rachel are left crying and saying they have nobody on their side. Jeff talks to Julie and says that nobody in the house has a sack. Love it!! Tell it like it is Jeff. He is a little fired up but says backdooring Daniele wasn't a mistake.

.....and that's all folks. The episode ends as Jordo is crying in one room and Shelly in the other. Uh hey Shelly, maybe you should suck it up and pull the knife out of Jordan's back. Backstabber!! I know it's a game, but I'm a little ticked that Shelly thinks she is so classy and such a good example but she's just as bad as the rest. And hey, the 80s called, they want their pink frosted lipstick back.