This recap covers events in the house from noon Saturday to noon Sunday, BB Time

As my shift gets underway, it's quiet around the house as everyone is in the pre-POV routine of Diary Room, napping, and overthinking. Trivia graces our screen around 1:00 which is great for me because I'd rather watch trivia than listen to Porsche, Kalia, and Daniele in the purple room whining and bashing.

We return around 2:45, to learn it was a puzzle competition but sadly, nobody is running around pointing at the cameras yelling "I won! I won!" It doesn't take long though to determine that Big Jeff is the winner, and apparently it wasn't even close. Well, that's good news for him this week but it just makes that target on him bigger. Kalia is already moping in the spaceship room where she earns one of Shelly's pep talks. From further discussion, it sounds like the Zingbot made a return to the Big Brother house for the competition, which was a 3D puzzle to build a wife for Zingbot. But the most exciting part is that Big Brother fancified the Veto by adding a massive blingy gold chain. I guess their budget increased as a result of having Jeff and Jordan back on the show.

Pimp Daddy Big Jeff…. All I do is win win win no matter what..”

Side note - Rachel tells a story about when they were at some sort of reality TV party and Lane tried to fight Brendon, so they don't talk to him anymore. For that matter, she continues, she doesn't really talk to any of them other than Ragan, Kristen, and Matt. Good to know.

Throughout the day, we pick up bits and pieces about what some of this year’s zings were:
  • Jordan: "the reason Jeff hasn't proposed to you is because he knows you're not good at questions" and something about don't call her dumb because she doesn't know what it means
  • Jeff: something about his soul patch and perhaps his love of boy bands
  • Dani: something about riding your dad's coattails
  • Shelly: "The only way you'll smoke the competition is if the competition is smoking"
  • Adam: something comparing him to Uncle Fester
  • Porsche: "You're the only 23 year old Porsche with airbags"
  • Rachel: "Hey Rachel, is that you? I didn't recognize you without the tears"

Another side note - Adam does a pretty good impression of Zingbot

After the competition, the houseguests were asked in Diary Room to come up with their own zingers. Porsche's was "Rachel may say no one comes between her and her man, but if I'm next to go to jury, she may never make it down the aisle!"

Daniele and Porsche continue to pool their creative culinary skills to fashion edible delights out of their have not supply. They seem to be having fun with it. I can't help but recall how poorly Daniele did on slop in her season, and I think she's full of determination to make sure she eats better this time around.

Jeff heads to the Candy Room to chill with Adam and Shelly, commenting that Rachel and Kalia are both up in the HOH room with Jordan. I don't blame you Jeff, I wouldn't want to go up there either! Adam congratulates Jeff for having all the power this week and being able to do what he wants. Jeff counters that he needs the two of them to have his back next week. Talk turns back to the Zingbot and his entrance into the house. Jeff had the spyscreen on the living room at the time, and says when he saw him come out of the Diary Room he was like, WTF is that?? They joke about how bad Jordan was at the competition, and Jeff laughs about their combined IQ, saying "what are our kids gonna be like? They'll be walking into walls!"

I switch over to HOH, where Kalia has firmly planted herself in the middle of girl talk with Jordan and Rachel. The subject? How Rachel likes to spend all her time with Brendon, she goes out with him whenever he goes out with his friends. Jordan says when she goes to see Jeff in Chicago, and he and his friends have something planned she's not interested in, she insists that he goes and she'll find something else to do. Rachel: "I love Brendon's friends, and they love me too." The conversation turns to how great it is once you leave the house and don't have to worry about cameras. Rachel says when she got to jury last year she just wanted to be naked all the time because there weren't cameras, and when Brendon got there, they could make out! Um, as if the cameras in the Big Brother house stopped you? Whatevs.

Kalia heads downstairs and Rachel says she thinks Shelly and Adam threw the competition. Jordan informs Rachel that Jeff isn't telling her what he's planning to do, because he wants everyone to be surprised. She goes through all the possible scenarios with Rachel and stresses how the three of them need to stick together. Rachel quickly starts tossing Shelly under the bus, about how much she talks with "the other side." Jordan says she really believes that Shelly is just filling the mother role. Rachel also has concerns about Adam because he hangs out with them a lot also. However, she believes that Daniele is the one that needs to go this week because it would be the best game move. No arguments here.

Cheers resound when the lockdown finally ends at 5 pm. Everyone rushes outside except the pity party of 2 in the Have Not room. Porsche complains to Daniele about how Kalia is always kissing butt.

As if on cue, Kalia corners Adam outside, where she immediately launches her campaign. She can help him in the game more than Porsche. Oh and by the way, Jordan has literally done nothing and she can't believe she won her season. She points out that Jordan's HOH was thrown to her. Well, sugar pie, she sure did smoke your butt in it, didn't she? I mean, this from someone who admitted her strategy coming in was to lay low, and she got so offended when she was called a floater. But hey, it's not a day in the Big Brother house without Kalia being hypocritical, right? Right. Oh and might I also point out that for this discussion, Kalia is stretched out on the sofa while Jordan is working out.

Shelly joins them and the topic changes to Rachel! Shocker! Shelly admits she's doing everything she can to push Rachel's buttons and send her over the edge. A little later, Shelly tells Jeff and Jordan that's what she's trying to do. Jeff tells her to stop, that he doesn't want to have to clean up the mess. Shelly lets them know of Kalia's plan - that if it ends up being her and Daniele on the block together, she will torment Rachel so badly she'll want to quit.

Jeff, Jordan, and Adam take a quick moment to compare notes - Adam thinks getting Daniele out is the best move. "She'll stab you in a heartbeat" he says.

Shelly seems to be going stir crazy and is ready to tear into Rachel. Rachel is wandering around the house like a lost puppy trying to find someone to play teabag cards with. (no, that's not a euphemism). And Rachel heads into the kitchen to have a Shelly bashfest with Kalia, warning her that Shelly isn't on her side. Kalia brings up old wounds, saying how she was shocked with Jeff and Jordan went against Brendon and Rachel and voted to keep Shelly last week. They discuss the different stories that Shelly's been telling everyone.

Outside while working out, Jeff indicates to Adam that he's thinking of trying to make a deal with Porsche, then putting Dani up and out. Adam agrees he would vote out Daniele, as would Jordan and Rachel, so it wouldn't even matter how Shelly and Porsche voted.

The Birthday Girl comes out of her cocoon and she and Kalia head to their old stomping grounds in the candy room. They're talking game, but they're back to the silent click whispering so I'm not gonna bother. Outside, Shelly is talking about childbirth and I don't really want to listen to that either. Alright, I'll make another attempt at listening to the sunshine twins.

”I can’t believe how miserable and crabby Jordan was acting after 2 weeks of being a have-not”

”I know, right?”

Seems Kalia's grand idea is to try to make a deal with Jeff to keep nominations the same, and then try to round up enough votes to stay. Tee hee. This plan is almost as good as her plan to evict Lawon! Porsche and Adam make their way into the room and liven things up. Adam puts on Jordan's tutu and dances around. The nightly dose of awkward arrives in the form of Rachel, who enters, looking for friends to play with. "What are you guys talking about back here?" Talk leads to last season, and Rachel asks Kalia if she liked Britney. Kalia said she didn't at first because Britney and Monet would just stay in the corner and complain all the time. Ummm. Yeah.

Rachel trying to figure out who she can blame for nobody wanting to play cards with her

I don't want to listen to them anymore... so I join Adam and Shelly outside. They're stewing about Rachel's latest garbage line that everyone's groaning over. Losing Brendon was harder for her than the others who are away from their families, because they chose to leave their families and knew they'd be apart. Wha??

Anyway, as Showtime Time rolls around, Rachel succeeds in getting some of them to join in her reindeer games and play Texas Hold 'em, with m&m's as chips. Rachel and Porsche give instructions to Jordan and Shelly on how to play while Adam monitors the grill. Jeff was called to the Diary Room, Kalia's moping in bed in the candy room, and Dani's moping in the have-not room.

At 9:30, Big Brother alerts the happy family to check the storage room (translation = alcohol). Tonight's bounty consists of a whopping 7 beers. Rachel has a brief pout that there's no wine but that doesn't last long cause hey, alcohol is alcohol.

Oh, in case you were wondering, Shelly pronounces Parmesan cheese "par-MEE-shan" - I'm thinking this will make the show.

So finally Rachel's dream comes true and the entire house sits down inside for a group game of poker. And when I say the entire house, OBVI I mean everyone except Dani, who's all alone in the have-not room, and Jordan, who had just begun her nightly ritual of soaking her feet in the hot tub.

Following the game, Rachel and Jordan do a little talking about the best move for this week. Rachel thinks they need to get Dani out, then Porsche next week. She wants to keep Kalia for a while because she thinks she'll be useless on her own. Hmm, gee I guess that's why Rachel was playing all nicey-nice with Kalia earlier this evening.

Dani finally emerges from her cave to do a little slop cooking with Porsche, and then a little game talking with Shelly. Shelly tells Daniele that Jeff wouldn't tell her what he was going to do because he wanted it to be a surprise. Shelly asks Daniele who she would put up if she wins HOH. Daniele avoids a direct answer and says she isn't sure.

Up next outside for game talk come Adam and Kalia. Kalia continues to question Adam about whether he truly wants a newbie to win, or is he aligned with Jeff and Jordan. Adam states he just wants to get to the final 6 because then you can control your own destiny. Kalia launches into her spiel about how Jeff was not her target when she was HOH. Blah blah blah. Then she gives a campaign speech saying that if she remains on the block with Porsche, she'll be evicted because she's seen as the bigger target. Porsche hasn't done anything, she moans, and she deserves to be here. Um, let's all flashback a few weeks ago during the big house "meeting" when people were getting called out for being floaters, Jeff made a comment about people deserving to be there, and Kalia went all ballistic about who gets to determine who's deserving. I guess she gets to make that determination now, eh?

Before long, we get a camera on Jeff and Jordan in the HOH room for their nightly strategy talk. Jeff's gut is telling him to get Daniele out this week. (Mine too, Jeff, mine too). Jordan agrees and says that everyone that she's talked to has mentioned the same idea. They go round and round with pros and cons, but what it comes down to is Jeff saying she betrayed them once before and he just can't sit back and let her burn him like he got burned in his season. He needs to stay true to his team (Jordan, Adam, Shelly) even if they haven't won much, and they need to keep Rachel around a little longer for her vote. It seems the decision has been made - make a deal with Porsche, use the veto on her, and slide Dani into the replacement spot. Jeff also mentions that production wants him to talk to Daniele, but he is not going to fall under their spell. Good job, Big Jeff. They realize that Daniele's Final 3 deal from last week came from a place of drunken desperation to try to cover her bases and that's that.

Quick jump outside where Adam and Shelly are both saying they threw the POV competition. Shocker!!

Back upstairs, the topic has turned to Rachel. They think she's crazy but agree that she's funny and would be different outside of the house.

While Jeff and Jordan turn on the cuteness in HOH, Adam is turning on the cuteness in the have-not room, playing the entertaining monkey role for the girls. He eventually escapes outside for a smoke, where he tells the camera it better help him later on. Daniele joins him and tries to get information about what Jeff is doing. Adam smoothly says Jeff hasn't discussed his plans. Daniele repeats her theme for the season, about how everyone is scared to make moves. Careful what you wish for, sweetie pie!

Sunday morning dawns early for the old folks of the house. Amid clouds of smoke, Adam retells his late night talk with Daniele. They agree that Daniele should be the one to go this week, because she's just too dangerous. They discuss how she already seems to be throwing Kalia under the bus, pointing out that if nominations stay the same, Kalia is a bigger threat than Porsche.

The wake-up call comes at 10:30 and the houseguests start coming to life. Adam heads upstairs to tell Jeff about his talk with Daniele. (He's a little concerned that Dani might try to spin the conversation so he wants to make sure he gives full disclosure first).

News flash - Dani finally started her period.

Back in HOH - Adam and Jeff continue to compare notes on Daniele's deals and stories and laugh about how she's telling everyone different things. The bottom line remains that Dani needs to go this week.

As their talk wraps out, we're taken outside where Rachel and Porsche are talking about liposuction and butt implants while Jordan asks incredulous questions. Eventually there’s a lull in the conversation. “I can’t wait until Brendon and I get married!” announces Rachel. *sigh* Can’t let a moment go by without making sure the conversation is all about her!

Rachel finds herself alone with Jeff and says she wants to talk to him. “About what?” asks Jeff. Rachel says she wants to talk about what he’s thinking. Jeff assures her “you’re good” but Rachel goes on to say she wants to discuss their plans moving forward, and she has some observations she wants to share.

As my shift comes to a close, Skippy takes us into the bathroom where Daniele is shaving her legs in the bathroom sink. Lovely.

Because I know you wanted a visual of that one

Tune in tomorrow as Waywyrd will guide us through the next 24 hours, sure to be full of increasing parannoying! And thanks to JustJuls for the cap of the bling bling veto!