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Somewhere out there, Marcellas is watching and thinking, "Thanks Lawon. Thanks for taking one for the team."

It's true. We may have a brand new Dumbest Move in Big Brother History with Lawon's "voluntary eviction." Watching the recap at the top of tonight's show, I can't help but think that he imagines he's Harry Potter, discovering that he himself is a horcrux, and that he has to die and be resurrected in order to triumph. (Oh please, keep your "spoiler" whining to yourself, the movie's been out for a month and the book is four years old!)

Lawon thinks that eternal glory, the Tri-Wizard Cup, and a special superpower awaits the next evictee. Winning! But as Julie lets us know after the recap, poor Lawon is out of luck: no such power exists. Instead he will have to compete against America's Choice from the other evictees for the chance to return to the game. And we all know how good Lawon is at comps.

Julie Check: The hair is no longer B-52's size, but the wardrobe is from the L.A. Law collection.

But first, we have to see if he'll even be evicted! Back to the show, where Julie sets up some clips from the week by letting us know that speculation over the twist has heavily influenced the houseguests' thinking in terms of their vote, and that one wrong move by either nominee could upset their chances of staying.

In flashback, Jeff takes himself off the block and Kalia replaces him with Lawon. Rachel is aghast in the DR: she figures that Lawon didn't even know he was IN the BB house until he was put up. She thinks it's the miracle she's been hoping for. As for Lawon, he tells us that he LOVES his move. Didja hear? LOVES it! He keeps going on about the superpowers awaiting him outside the door. Jeff decides that Kalia's move was just plain stupid, not realizing it was really Lawon's idea. Kalia sees the wisdom in keeping Rachel around and hopefully taking the target off her own back for a while.

Next we see Lawon putting his brilliant scheme into motion: he acts all disgusted to Shelly about being on the block, as if he didn't know it was coming. Shelly engages him, and Lawon brings up the point that he certainly didn't volunteer to go up, which set off a red flag with her: why would anyone ever do such a thing? (Shelly, meet Dustin from BB8). While she continues to let Lawon have his moment, she tells us in the DR that she can tell when he's lying: his whole 'vernacular' and personality changes while he's talking! Shelly presses him about the 'volunteering' thing, and he keeps denying it, and she continues to play him like a two-dollar ukulele until she secretly gets enough info out of it.

"Alas, poor Yorick! How d'ya like me NOW, Yorick? Whoo!"

Next, Inspector Shelly bounds up to the HoH to grill Kalia about the notion of him volunteering. Kalia gives a mushy noncommittal answer, which is all Shelly needs to know.

Double Agent Shelly then visits her real friends Jeff & Jordan in the Have-Not room, reports her findings, and they all conclude that he's acting (badly), and Shelly impersonates Lawon for laughs, and nearly gets caught by him when he enters the room a second later. He gives them another pout-pout show just to prove they are right, and leaves. Shelly pronounces Lawonderful as the winner of Best Performance by a Nominee.

In the DR, Jeff says he could care less what Lawon does, since they already have the votes sewn up to evict him and keep Rachel. Apparently they haven't told Rachel this, as we see her visit Kalia & Dani in the HoH later for a power talk. They talk vaguely about not going after each other next week if she stays, and to keep targeting all those delicious floaters that seem to be running around the house like prized hens. But they will keep up the appearance that they still hate each other (heh). In the DR, Kalia is convinced that Porsche and Shelly will vote however she wants them too, and that even if the vote came down to a 3-3 tie, she would decide who goes. Next in the DR, Rachel calls them stupid for thinking a deal is in place, and promises to bring down the Wrath of Rachel upon them.

A confident and yet still paranoid Rachel goes to Jordan & Shelly and reports that Kalia thinks she is controlling the vote this week. Also, there was no formal deals struck between them, even if she goes and comes back. Shelly tells Rachel to just smile and nod at whatever Kalia or Dani says for the rest of the week; they are messing with her head. Shelly tells us in the DR that she's still not sure Rachel is someone she can trust because she's so erratic all the time. Shelly is still trying to play both sides of the house, and we see her having a heart-to-heart with Dani as an example. Crafty Shelly tells her that Rachel left her with the impression that she had stuck a deal with Dani & Kalia the night before, which Dani flatly denies, and then in the DR yells at Rachel for having a big mouth (but did she? And was there even a deal in all their minds?)

Later in the HoH, Dani reports to Kalia about all the loose lips regarding their meeting with Rachel, which sets Kalia to wondering why Rachel would blab about a supposedly secret deal. They wonder if it's better to get rid of her after all, and take their chances with the twist. And so ends the highlights for the week.

Julie chats with the houseguests live: she asks Dani if the twist has changed the way she played this week, and Dani says yes and no and yes and no. Julie then asks Shelly asks about all the crying going on in the house -- Shelly figures that Adam is the only one left who hasn't cracked yet, so he's due to go nuts and start shaving other things off. (!) This gets an "Easy now!" from Julie.

Next, Jordan is asked about her breakdown this week, and she explains that she felt she let her team down in the Have-Not competition, and that this, combined with other things building up (plus being on slop for 2 weeks) led to her tearful moment. Julie asks Jeff is the game gets easier or harder now that they are past the halfway mark: Jeff remarks that while it gets harder, he is happy to see other people starting to get hot under the collar, and not just him.

Enough chat, let's bring on some guest stars! Hey look, there's Ragan, who gives us his insights into Rachel in a taped piece from his home. Ragan introduces himself as "one of the most handsome mean to ever play the game" before starting his dissertation on Rachel. Last year, she was his worst enemy (and we get to see highlights from their big fight during the night she returned to the house as proof). The thing is, after the show ended, they discovered that they had a lot in common, and actually became friends, work-out partners, and drinking buddies (well, duh!).

Ragan's doorbell rings, and it's Matt the Super Genius, paying a totally unplanned visit! They hug it out, and Ragan lets us know that he is still waiting for Matt to propose marriage. They sit and watch footage of Rachel having hissy fits last week after Brendon's eviction; Ragan calls her current sulky state "crybernation" where she goes off on her own to dry-cry and pout. We also see a clip of her sending a message to Brendon via the BB cameras, not knowing that he's been in sequester because of the twist and hasn't seen any of her heartfelt messages to him. Oops! Ragan figures that sassy, feisty Rachel will return soon enough. As an example, we see Rachel continually trying to sit in Dani's lap at the dining table for the nomination ceremony this week, which set Dani off. Feisty! Sassy! How do ya like her now? Whoo!

Ragan decides that Rachel is like the killer at the end of a slasher movie: no matter how many times you destroy her, she keeps coming back.

Next, Julie talks to Kalia in the HoH. She calls it "a tough week" for Kalia, and Kalia agrees. The twist threw a wrench in her plans, but while she has no regrets, if Lawon leaves tonight for good, she can't help but feel a little responsible. Julie asks why she's been working Jeff & Jordan so hard, trying to mend fences; she says that the game got in the way of the initial personal friendship that she had struck with them in the first week, and that she missed having that, regardless of the game play.

It's time for the live vote, and the speeches. Rachel is chipper and thanks everyone for everything, and reminds her housemates that "there's a twist this week!" Ominous! Next, Lawon lets out a patented WHOO! and talks about his love for everyone, and drops a bunch of the houseguests' nicknames in his speech which secretly amuses them.

The vote:

Jordan votes to evict Lawon.
Jeff votes to evict Lawon.
Porsche votes to evict "Mr. Handsomefied" Lawon.
Daniele has an existential breakdown on live TV before finally voting to evict Lawon, adding that she may regret it later.
(It's official, Lawon is gone)
Shelly votes to evict Lawon.
Finally, Adam votes to evict Lawon.

Julie announces that Lawon is evicted, and he hugs everyone goodbye, but before he can reach the door, Julie calls everyone back to the couch, which everyone pretends they didn't see coming. Julie explains the twist to Lawon, but Rachel's frozen reaction to the fact that Brendon has been in sequester steals the show:

Seriously, we're talking over 10 seconds like this.

Julie says goodbye to the HGs and addresses the four evicted houseguests who have been brought into the backyard. Keith is still Keith, ugh. Cassi can't stop talking. Dom promises his firstborn if he gets to compete. Brendon is Brendon, ugh. Julie lets them know that the winner will be competing against the freshly evicted Lawon.

After a break, all the houseguests have assembled in the backyard for the comp. Julie says that over 2 million votes were cast. She then lets Keith and Cassi know that not many of those votes were for them, and they are out. Either Dom or Brendon will return to compete, and Julie exclaims that the vote was very close! But the winner with just over a miller votes is: Brendon??? What? Really, America? Really? That's not "very close" -- that's just plain rigged. But I digress...

The losing evictees take their final bows and leave, and Brendon and Lawon take their places for the competition, called "That's How We Roll." 150 balls, each bearing one of the 14 houseguests' names, will soon drop from the sky into the yard. They have to grab one of each name and roll them up a ramp into a small hole, so that they have a complete set of 14 in their receptacles. Whoever does it the fastest wins, and if neither completes it, whoever has the most unique names wins. And if it's a tie, yada yada yada, somebody is gonna win this thing by 10:00 if Julie has to shoot one of them!

Julie asks if they both understand, and they say yes, but clearly Lawon doesn't, for he spends the next 3 minutes in a daze while Brendon proceeds to mop the floor with him. Is this another part of his brilliant plan? Could be! The fact that Rachel (and several of the others) were cheering on Brendon and pointing out balls for him to pick up probably didn't help Lawon's state of mind.

It's over, and Rachel jumps into Brendon's arms, and I can feel dinner coming up. As Valdemort said, "Harry Potter is dead!"

Because of time, Lawon doesn't even get a sit-down with Julie after the competition; she promises and extended interview will be up at CBS.com soon. (In fact, here it is!)

We won't get to see the HoH competition until Sunday's highlight show -- will the reconstituted Vets go back to their steamrolling ways? Tune in Sunday, and check here for more recaps!