This recap covers events in the house from noon Saturday to noon Sunday, BBT.

Howdy peeps! It's been quite a week, eh? Shame on those of you who wrote the season off in Week 2 saying it was going to be another boring summer with the vets running the house, Brigade style. Silly rabbits, it's Big Brother, things were bound to change! Since there's so much going on, I asked my friend Wilson from BB12 to help me out. Some of you may know him better as "Ragan's sock puppet." (Shhhh, don't tell him that, he doesn't like to be known as anyone's puppet... he has his very own identity. Wilson may chime in from time to time with his commentary. After all, he's been in the house so he feels uniquely qualified to offer an opinion on EVERYTHING.

My feed generally begins while the POV competition is underway, but alas, Big Brother decided to switch it up today with an early competition, and by the time this shifty-poo begins, it's already over. For those of you who have been living in a sock drawer and don't know the outcome, Jeff won. I mean, for someone who's supposedly such a giant threat, isn't this the first thing he's won? Yeah, that's what I thought. So now Queen Kalia is left in a bind because she has to name a replacement nominee to ensure that Crazy Rachel goes home.

Alrighty then, let's get it going. Since the competition ended a couple hours ago, all these lazy little peeps appear to be taking naps and waiting for the lockdown to end.. Well except for Rachel, who has just cookified up some catfish for lunch. It might be seasoned with snot cause she was sniffling over the stove as she was cooking. She's the only one in the room, and she sadly consumes her meal while staring at the Memory Wall. Poor Rachel, she's lonely that her douchebag FEYONCE (copyright, Jun BB4) isn't there anymore. Wilson suggests that whenever you're feeling lonely, make a sock puppet. Then you'll have a lifelong friend.

Mama Shelly attempts giving this blubbering idiot a pep talk, pointing out that she needs to be her own person and not so dependent on Brendon. Every valid point she makes just sails over the head of The Great Delusional One. Rachel whines that she won't get to see her FEYONCE for 6 more weeks. Does the girl realize she's talking to a woman who's already been away from her HUSBAND and CHILD for 5-6 weeks (depending on sequester) and has another 6 to go?


The lockdown finally ends, and Adam and Shelly head outside for that long awaited cigarette. Adam asks if Shelly knows what Kalia is going to do, and Shelly says Kalia is thinking of putting him up. say what? says Adam. Yeah. Happy Birthday buddy, better enjoy your party tomorrow cause you're going on the block the next day.

For what seems like the 40th time in the past two days, Rachel heads up to the HOH room to plead again for Kalia's mercy. It's nothing we haven't heard before, on and on about how she promises she is coming back in the game, and that she won't come after Kalia. Kalia tells Rachel she's making valid points (is she BS'ing her?) but says she's trying to do what she can to keep herself, and the people she trusts, safe. She poses the direct question to Rachel, "are you coming after Daniele?" to which Rachel affirms YES.

Rachel leaves and Kalia thinks everything through out loud (thanks home girl), saying she believes Rachel's claim that she won't come after her if she stays. On the other hand, she realizes that she can't just "jump alliances" and suddenly go after the people that have been there for her all along. All along? Daniele's been there for you all along? Really? WIlson says he's just a sock and he knows better than that.

Paranoia will destroy ya

Scurrying quickly down to the candy room, Kalia parranoys her latest fear to Daniele and Porsche - that there might be a power out there that could end up putting Kalia and Daniele on the block Thursday. The three girls try to put their heads together to figure out who Rachel thinks she could get 3 votes against. Round and round and round they go until Daniele finally just tells Kalia that she's overthinking everything.

Shelly juggles fruit almost as well as she juggles the houseguests and her fake alliances

The rest of the day passes without any really exciting happening, but here are some random bits of news from around the house
  • Jeff and Jordan ask Rachel about her life in Vegas, and she reenacts for them how she would serve customers in the VIP cabanas. The fact that people would spend $4500 on a bottle of tequila sends Jeff into a tailspin of flabbergastia. (yes, I just made that word up).

  • Adam says that Jersey Shore is very realistic, based on what he sees as a New Jersey resident

  • They won a grill in the have-not competition, and after having the same grill for many seasons, it looks like Big Brother has actually splurged on a new one.

  • Rachel informs us that all she and her FEYONCE did in sequester was.... well... you know.

  • Jeff finds it odd that they haven't been told they're in jury yet. Rachel says that last year they were told at their Halfway Party, which she believes was mid-week, like a Tuesday. Jeff and Jordan are excited to hear that the Have-Nots are given a break and can eat/drink during the party. More chatter leads them to the realization that it was about this time last year that Jeff and Jordan came in to host the Lover's Lane POV competition. Jeff said he was supposed to spend the night in the house, for his Around the World for Free show, but since there was so much drama, they changed the plan. (that was the one where Brendon and Rachel were on the block and Brendon launched the ball at Jeff but claimed he didn't)

    Keepin’ it clean

  • Kalia read the Twilight series in 6 weeks. Rachel has only seen the movies, so she asks Kalia to fill in the information for her.

  • Adam and Porsche are attempting to make homemade Almond Joys with the coconut they've been given

  • Mama Shelly spies an empty paper towel roll lying on the kitchen counter, along with a dish full of dirty dishes that she said she just washed an hour ago. Mama Shelly ain't happy.

  • Adam and Porsche convene in the ROYGBIV room, where Porsche proceeds to give Adam the rundown of the Big Brother House According to Porsche. She's just rambling on and on about Rachel, Jeff, and Jordan, and I don't see much point in paying attention. But I'm kinda bored so I decide to play a little game - i whip out my trust iPhone with the timer, and count Porsche saying "like" 14 times in one minute.

    just cause….. aww…

  • Kalia tells Porsche she's debating between her and Adam as the replacement nominee, and she fills Porsche in on her talk with Rachel. Kalia indicates to Porsche that she has no intention of keeping Rachel, but a few minutes previously, in the storage room, Kalia told Shelly that Rachel had made some good points.

  • Kalia forgot to feed the fish on Friday. Somebody call PETA

  • Daniele has convinced herself that whoever is coming back into the house is not coming back to play the game, but just to annoy everyone. Adam and Daniele toss around possibilities. Adam thinks maybe the person coming back gets to play in HOH and if they don't win, they're out for good. She tells Adam that Kalia is considering putting him up as a pawn (he already knows this) but that if he doesn't feel comfortable with it, she won't let Kalia put him up. She won't LET her? That will go over well with Kalia who is pushing hard to make it clear to people that it's her HOH, not Daniele's.

  • Rachel, who has been on in "up" mode most of the afternoon, spirals downward and has Sulky Time in the purple room alone for a while. When she comes back to the Have Not Room, Jeff and Jordan poke fun at her in a good natured way and she perks up, and gives her nightly speech to Brendon through the live feeds, although as we all know he is sequestered away and not watching.

  • While Rachel is speaking to Brendon through the cameras, Adam speaks to us giving a recap of the day's events.

  • A game of Twister is created in the kitchen which leads to good times for all. Well, most anyway.

    Twister, Big Brother style

  • The houseguests have been on inside lockdown for hours due to a wedding going on outside

  • When the clock strikes midnight, the houseguest have a mini celebration for Adam's 40th birthday. Jeff makes a "present" for Adam - he calls it a "bag of scabs" which consists of pieces of roast beef and vaseline in a baggie, wrapped up inside a coconut.

  • Jeff and Jordan FINALLY go talk to Kalia. Kalia repeats her spiel about why she nominated Jeff, because she needed him to play in the veto. Jeff again points out that if Rachel had won veto, he'd be gone. Jordan apologizes for her behavior the last time they talked, and says that's why she's avoided coming to talk again. Kalia reiterates she will hold true to her deal with Jordan and never put her up. They go in circles and not much is really accomplished, but they all get the chance to speak their peace.

  • The lockdown ends around 2 am and the grill is instantly put into action for making hamburgers. The Haves enjoy their feast while wearing bandanas in a tribute to Adam's birthday.

Yep, that's pretty much it for the evening. Wilson, in his astute observations, believes the most important things to take from the day are that (1) Kalia is really nervousing. Jeff's declaration of war and Rachel's arguments have definitely sent her into a tailspin of insecurities and paranoying and (2) Daniele has been getting closer to Porsche that now Kalia's usefulness as HOH is coming to an end.

The next morning begins with another Shelly pep talk for Rachel. Lather, rinse, repeat. And that’s how the action ends for me, my friends. Stay tuned as waywyrd brings the weekend home…