Big Brother August 7 Ė Humble Pie Tastes Good, Doesnít It Homegirl

We start out tonightís episode watching the end of Thursdayís episode where Brendon left and Kalia won HOH. Kalia has a celebratory dance in the storage room with Danielle, and Rachel cries her eyes out. So far, a happy episode.

Jeff, Jordan and Rachel all fixate on the fact that during the HOH contest, Porsche made Jeff and Shelly go against each other (guaranteeing that one of them would be out of the competition) rather than putting up two of the Newbies. They think she may be playing both sides (which Shelly actually is). I think Porsche just had a brain fart and that her loyalty has always been up Rachelís backside, and with the Careers just to get her closer to Rachel. Iíve despised Porsche ever since she screwed all of the Newbies by aligning with the Careers in the first week, clueless that sheís expendable as soon as they donít need her vote anymore. Her pygmy suckfish strategy for game play is annoying. If Porscheís alliance abandons her because of her own stupidity, that would be poetic.

Next we have a series of short clips:

1. Kaliaís HOH Room. Lots of pictures of her family.
2. Shelly and Kalia talking. They seem to get a little closer, but mostly it was masterful BS by Shelly in agreeing to work with Kalia and Dani for her safety this week.
3. Adam finally get to take off the elf costume and does some really bizarre pervy elf strip tease. Please pass the brain bleach.
4. Shelly sneaking up on Kalia while she is snoring in the hammock. Kalia wakes up and freaks out because Shelly is under the hammock.

Now it is time for the Have or Have Not competition. The contestants are placed into two groups which donít seem all that random.

1. Adam, Lawon, Danielle, and Porsche Ė Red team (the Newbies and Porsche, who is on the Careerís naughty list this week).
2. Jeff, Jordan, Rachel and Shelly Ė blue team (the Careers and their favorite pet).

One member from each team will face off head to head. Each person on the team will be mixing up nasty shakes with milk and three food ingredients, while their opponent from the other team will be attempting to guess the three food ingredients. If the players from both teams guess the same number of the three mystery ingredients, then the tie-breaker will be solved by the players chugging a big mug of the nasty concoction.

First shakes are the special blends of Jeff and Lawon. The shakes are Potato chips, corned beef hash, and creamed corn for one, and Apple Sauce, Gorganzola Cheese, Scrambled eggs for the other one. They both get the same number of ingredients, and they need to go to the chug off. Jeff wins the chug off over Lawon

Next up are Porsche and Shelly. The shakes are Beets, Dill Pickels, Jalepenos for one and Carrots, Candied Yams, and Cocktail Onions for the other. Shelly complains that the shake has a consistency of baby food and is too thick to drink. Jeff tells her that candied yams are really thick like that, giving her an ingredient she hadnít picked yet. Shelly ignores him and guesses something that isnít in the shake, and by missing that ingredient doesnít force a tie (and a chug off). Porsche wins, annoying the Careers even more.

I donít remember seeing Adam or Rachel mix or eat their shakes, so it must have been edited out, or else my natural repulsion of Rachel has caused me to black it out of my memory completely. Either way, if the red team (Newbies plus Dani) win this next point, they are Haves this week and the blue team are Have Nots. That will make Rachel extra crabby because she just got done with 2 weeks of slop after taking that as a completely unnecessary punishment as part of a veto competition.

Dani and Jordan are up next. The shakes are Sour kraut, Horseradish, and Applesauce for one and Liverwurst, creamed corn, and spray cheese for the other. Two nasty shakes for sure. Jordan is gagging while sampling. So of course they tie and Dani wins the chug off easily while Jordan is throwing up.

Jordan, Jeff, Rachel and Shelly are Have Nots. These lucky Have Nots get their fill of coconuts and catfish. Yum, yum. Jordan looks ready to toss her cookies again.

Next Jordan steals a page from Rachelís playbook and goes into the Have Not room and cries her eyes out to Jeff because she didnít guess sour kraut. You know, that is a rather recognizable flavor, but as a native Wisconsinite, Iíve probably had more kraut than most people. I think itís awful, and coming from someone who actually likes liverwurst, that makes it particularly bad. She is disappointed that she and Jeff are have nots for the week, and that their prize is really yucky catfish (and coconuts, which she didnít think was a food). She is also really annoyed that Porsche and Lawon are floaters who arenít have nots this week. Bitter much. I still prefer Jordan to Rachel, but she seemed to have adopted Rachelís personality in this episode.

Jordanís attack of bitchiness continues when she and Jeff are in the HOH room talking to Kalia. HOH Kalia was planning to put Jeff on the block even though her target is Rachel, as she thinks Jeff has the best chance to beat Rachel in the Veto Competition. If Jeff plays in the Veto Competition and wins, heíd use it on himself and keep Rachel as a nominee.

Personality thief Jordan (continuing her Rachel impersonation) pitches a fit and stomps off after threatening Kalia that if she dares nominate Jeff that heíll be back with a vengeance, and so will Rachel and Brendon and the goldfish she had in first grade. How dare the HOH nominate someone who has never even bothered to talk to them until they became HOH? They think they arenít fair game for the rest of the house because the show loved them enough to bring them back for a second season. Too much believing your own hype I guess, as the arrogance of the Career players has me rooting for anyone else to win this season, except for Porsche and Shelly, whose only strategy so far is to attach themselves to the Careers. So incredibly lame.

This season is really pretty disappointing. Iíd been hoping for a power couple showdown between Jeff and Jordan and their minions on the one side and Rachel and Brendon (and Porsche Ė I canít think of anyone else they havenít they alienated with their crappy attitude and in your face challenge demeanor) on the other. Unless Brendon is voted back in (which I find a very long shot), that wonít happen, and the biggest drama will be how Dani fares in trying to rally Newbies to take out the rest of the Careers.

Jeff threatens Kalia and shouts her down in her own HOH Room. Well, I think the nominations will be pretty clear. And the keys are pulled:

Jordan Ė who spouts off more taunting at Kalia while being safe. Again, not even Rachel is being this surly tonight.

Predictably, Kalia nominated Jeff and Rachel, and then scolds everyone else for trying to bully her all week. Daniele and Rachel canít even sit next to each other without kicking each other under the table and bitching. Maybe Rachel will just lose it and physically attack someone and get herself evicted by the show in the middle of the night. That would be somewhat interesting, but Rachel owes it to ďher manĒ to try to hold it together at least for a week. Maybe sheíll win Veto and then things will be at least somewhat interesting. Tune in on Wednesday to find out.

To comment on this recap, click here: