Big Brother July 27, July 30 and August 3 – The Elf-Man Cometh.
President Obama hates reality tv. I’ve suspected it for a long time. First I thought it was just a personal vendetta against Donald Trump, when the President interrupted the last 10 minutes of Celebrity Apprentice when the announcement could have easily waited that last 10 minutes. Sure, Trump was a possible presidential candidate at the time, so that made sense.
But then last Monday, the President is interrupting The Bachelor, throwing off my DVR and making me miss the last half an hour or so. Gah. And now, the President is on tv again with nothing urgent, interrupting Big Brother when my poor DVR cannot handle programming delays. Don’t you know that in addition to Big Brother, we have The Bachelorette, The Next Food Network Star, Falling Skies, and Bridezillas all waiting in the DVR queue? These crazy delays are wrecking my carefully orchestrated programming schedule just as bad as Gray’s Anatomy’s jackass 9:01 (central time, 10:01 for the coasts) ending time (which I’ve always viewed as a DVR-busting punk move by ABC to force people to watch Private Practice).
Does the administration hate DVRs, or just my ability to actually view shows I’m interested in seeing? Is this part of the administrations secret campaign to thwart reality tv shows? Why on earth isn’t he breaking in on Tuesdays, when there is hardly a show worth watching this time of year? Alas, I have no such excuse for being a week late in getting a recap done for last Wednesday’s show (other than I’m a working mom with three kids, my standby excuse, but it’s a good one), so on with the recaps.
Very briefly, last week Wednesday was the Veto competition and Adam and Dominic are on the block. Adam has agreed to toss the competition to appease HOH Rachel. Dominic has agreed to toss the competition under Dani’s promise that he’s the pawn and they want to get Adam out. We’ve seen how well it works out when both partners are throwing the Veto, right Keith.
It is the Scrabble-type challenge where competitors need to find letter tiles and then spell the longest word they can create. Jeff, Jordan, Rachel, Brendon, Adam and Dominic are the contestants and Dani is the host. Dominic spells a pretty short word, trying hard to look like he’s not trying hard. Verbal irony aside, Jeff, Brendon and Rachel all have longer words. Jeff has a 12 letter word. Rachel’s is 13 letters, but misspelled (it would have been 12 if she hadn’t added an extra letter). Brendon’s is 13 letters, “understanding” which is the same word that he spelled last year to win the same challenge. Phil Collins would have beat him with “misunderstanding” (there must be some misunderstanding) but it was enough for Brendon to win again.
Brendon doesn’t use the Veto, and as you know (it isn’t a spoiler when it’s a week later), Dominic was voted out. Thursday’s episode started out an endurance HOH contest, and that contest continued on for a large chunk of the Sunday episode. The contestants (except outgoing HOH Rachel) had to balance on fake snow skies, holding onto fake ski poles, while their “skies” swung left to right (in a really methodical slalom motion). They are tossing fake snow at them and increasing the incline to make it harder.
The first 5 contestants to drop out of the endurance challenge had to open mystery snowballs which contained either a penalty or a $10,000 prize. Adam was the first to drop and “won” the privilege of an elf costume for a full week. Will the costume curse continue, or did that curse end completely last year? Jeff won the $10,000, and the three other early droppers all “won” slop for the week. But not just slop. They also got all of the sardines and seaweed they desired. Thanks America, that is a fun one. I’m trying to remember who all ended up on slop, joining Rachel, who is still serving out her 2 week slop sentence from the Veto competition two weeks ago.
The Careers were dropping all along, with Rachel annoyingly cheering for Brendon (until he dropped) and then Porsche and Shelly (until they dropped), but never cheering for Dani or Kalia. I guess that lets us know who is “in” with Brachel. Despite the complete lack of cheering, Dani and Kalia are the final two, and in the end, Dani wins HOH. She introduces her HOH room. No-one cares. Rachel makes catty remarks about it. Yes, last week they were hiding from Rachel because they were so excited to see it.
What is less exciting that viewing Dani’s HOH room? The big reveal of Adam in the elf costume. It’s something straight out of Bad Santa and is sure to frighten all the kids into avoiding Santa at the mall from now on. The “power couples” start sucking up to Dani, offering to forgive her for daring to consider playing the game in any way that isn’t solely for their benefit. How kind of them to offer forgiveness now that Dani is HOH.
Dani tentatively has a deal with Jeff and Jordan that if Dani doesn’t nominate them, that they’ll give her a one-week pass if they win HOH next week. Brenchel talks to her, but Rachel can’t contain her contempt enough to even propose an actual deal.
The Nomination Ceremony happens, and Rachel and Brendon are on the block together. Fast forward to tonight’s (Wednesday’s) episode, where Rachel is still crying about the unfairness of life and how she and her finance came on the show to win half a million dollars, not to be NOMINATED. Oh, the injustice of it all. How dare anyone else try to get between Brenchel and their half-mil. Not since Shannon and Will were nominated together in Big Brother 2 has their been such an outrage about the travesty of splitting up a couple via eviction nominations. Well, in Rachel’s mind anyway.
Time for the Veto Competition again, and this time it is some replay of all the prior contests this season. The players are HOH Dani, nominees Rachel and Brendon, and three other players Jeff, Porsche, and Adam. Dani is hoping that Jeff wins, as he’s likely to keep the nominations in place to keep Jordan off the block. Otherwise, Rachel, Brendon or Porsche are all likely to use the Veto, and Adam has been a non-contender in every contest so far.
The Veto Competition is unusual, as the players are told which task they’ll need to do (of the 5 prior tasks they’ve done before), and they all bid on how quickly they can do it. Then, just like Name That Tune, the person with the lowest time (akin to least notes) needs to try to accomplish that task in their stated time. If they fail, they’re out. If they succeed, the person with the highest estimated time is out. Rachel is so insanely competitive that she names the shortest time for the first two challenges. She succeeds with the first one, but fails on the second challenge. She’s too competitive to figure out that if you pick a time in the middle, then you are not at risk and will sail through to the end. Brendon makes it to the end, and then bids two seconds less than Porsche in his ability to sink a putt on the mini-golf course. He makes the shot at the last second, and Rachel goes wild in her joy over Brendon’s victory. And she wonders why they aren’t adored by all of their fellow houseguests.
Cue the annoying part of the show where Brendon tries to make people think that he’s using the veto on himself (when really he’s planning to save Rachel) just so Dani will be so surprised that she’ll screw up when naming a replacement nominee. Geez, there are two options. Dani could just come up with her best case scenario in either case. You’d think that with nothing but time to sit around and think that she’d have the opportunity to work through either scenario.
Brendon then shocks the world by using the Veto to save Rachel. He’s so “in your face Dani, I fooled you into thinking I was going to use the Veto to save myself” and Dani is secretly happy, as she’d really rather be rid of Brendon anyway. I’m not sure why, when Rachel is so darn annoying, but both Dani and Brendon give diary room interviews bragging about how smart they are. Dani nominates Jordan, hoping that the house will take Brendon out. Dani agonized over it as she didn’t want to alienate anyone else in house. Porsche has done nothing but kiss up to Brenchel all summer and seemed like the safest replacement nominee choice if Dani doesn’t want Jordan and Jeff annoyed with her, but what do I know.
Who will leave – Brendon or Jordan? Either way, one of the power couples will be torn asunder tomorrow night. And frankly, it’s about darn time. This isn’t Love in the Wild, where all the contestants are playing as couples. Tune in tomorrow to see which couple will need to avenge their grievous loss in the HOH contest.
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