Big Brother 13 Recap 7/21: Super Chenbot
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Welcome back to another LIVE episode of Big Brother!! I always enjoy the live episodes because the houseguests actually get out of their sweatpants and attempt to look decent. Julie Chen pops on screen wearing a tan, khaki African safari skirted jumpsuit with a cape. I'm not exaggerating. Julie Chen has on a jumpsuit and a cape. What the hell is wrong with her? Where is her stylist? Maybe her dress ripped and she needed a cape to cover it? Maybe she's Super Chenbot? Who knows.
After the veto meeting on Wednesday, Cassi and Shelly are all boo hoo wah wah that one of them is going to have to go home. They talk privately and agree it's an ugly game and people are playing personally. Shelly tells Cassi to campaign but Cassi can't say anything bad about Shelly. Upstairs in the HoH, Jordan is crying because she feels bad about putting Shelly and Cassi on the block. Jeff tells her to stop worrying and she is still a good person. She comments that she hopes Rachel and Brendon don't turn on them. Jeff says if they do, he will shred Rachel. Now that's something I'd like to watch. Now that Dick is gone, my hopes of someone making Rachel's life hell have been dashed. I see a small glimmer of hope...
Downstairs in the kitchen, Shelly is still crying around about being nominated. She tells Daniele that she feels horrible Cassi is upset and she wants to fix it but she isn't in a position to do that. Kalia, whom we've seen for about 3 minutes total on the shows, comes and listens. Shelly is worried that by not telling Cassi she voted out Keith, she is lying and not setting a good example for her daughter.
It Looks Like A Bitch, It Talks Like A Bitch, It Must Be...
Cassi finds Rachel and asks what she's done to her. Rachel said she was offended that Cassi made comments about Porsche. Oh wait, is Porsche still in the house? She's another one who has only had about 2 minutes of screen time thus far because screeching Rachel takes it all. Cassi needs to get the hint that Rachel wants to get rid of any girl who is prettier, smarter, or a decent human being. Rachel claims that she heard from “plenty of people” that Cassi wants to get rid of Rachel/Brendon or Jeff/Jordan. Cassi must be reading over my shoulder because she then tells Rachel she thinks she is targeted because she's female and Rachel is threatened. Rachel acts all offended and tells Cassi her gameplay is horrible. Cassi calls her catty and says she's an ugly person inside. She also lets Rachel know she was a fan of hers last season and felt bad about the way people treated her but now she understands why.
Rachel runs upstairs to cry to Jordan. She whines that Cassi is soooooooooooo mean and howwwwwwwwwww could she say those things *sniffle*. If Rachel didn't have so much Botox in her face, I might be able to see she is actually sad aside from all the whining. Jordan tells her that “just being honest” some of the stuff Rachel does comes across as bitchy and Rachel might not even realize some of the stuff she says and does. Woo hoo! You tell her Jordo! Rachel cries that she doesn't talk bad about people and she isn't a villain. Jordan tells her that her mouth is going to hurt the alliance. Brendon comes into the HoH and tells Rachel just to avoid Cassi and nobody needs to worry because Cassi is going home.
Cassi corners Brendon and asks why he didn't want to keep the deal he made with Cassi and Shelly. She says they didn't say anything to anyone about possibly working with the veterans. She says she swears on her father that she hasn't lied to Brendon. I hate when people do that crap. I'm having visions of Amber bawling and swearing on her kid. Her poor kid. Anyway, Brendon says he knows she's lying because she swore on something. He acts like a jackass and like he is the almighty tool and asks if she wants him to draw a picture for her. Cassi was really just having a nice adult conversation and Brendon is in attack mode. He and Rachel are perfect together. It's a shame he's so beautiful but such a douche.
Cuteness In The HoH
Julie goes live to the living room to talk to the houseguests. She shows them footage of the Have/Have Not Competition. She asks Kalia about getting hurt in the competition and she says she is okay now. Julie asks Adam how grateful he is to Dom for taking the both of them off the block and he says he owes his life. Shelly makes a smart remark about not being so thankful. Julie asks Rachel about her little breakdown after the Veto Competition. Rachel giggles and
screams VEGAS says she sometimes says things she shouldn't or says things that are inappropriate but everything is, like, all, like, good now. *giggle* Ugh, I can actually see the air inside of her head.
This week, we get a little more insight into the lives of Adam and Dom. First, we meet Fara, Adam's girlfriend. She said that Adam tried out last season for Big Brother, but he was too big. He used to be over 300lbs but he lost around 100lbs because he really wanted to be on the show. They are going to be moving in together. She says he has a good heart and being on BB was his dream. He is a BB scholar and has studied the game every season. Dominic's best friend Dana says that BB is the first time Dom has been away from home. He was home schooled and he is a 25 year old virgin. Dana thinks Dom is being flirtatious with Dani to help himself but she thinks he knows Dani is still with the veterans.
Julie talks to Jordan privately in the HoH room. She asks Jordan how it is playing the game with Rachel and Brendon. Jordan, being the America's Sweetheart that she is, smiles and says that Rachel gets a little competitive sometimes, but it's good. She knows that if she and Jeff make it to singles, they will have to get rid of Rachel and Brendon, but it's fun and good right now. Julie asks Jordan about her decision not to backdoor Rachel and Brendon, and Jordan says that it's too early and she didn't want people coming after her or anyone not to trust her. A viewer wrote in and asked when Jeff and Jordan are going to tie the knot and make some babies. Oh boy, could you imagine little Jeffs and Jordans running around? Squeeeeee!!! Cuteness times ten. Jordan says they haven't talked about marriage yet because they have to talk about moving in the same state first.
Another One Bites The Dust
It's time for the live vote. Cassi and Shelly get the chance to speak. Cassi says she is so thankful to even be on the show and she got to know some people better than others but she had a great time. She tells Shelly she will miss her and will see her soon. Shelly's turn. She comments it must be a special day because she has on heels. She tells everyone to enjoy the journey and remember the people you pass on the way to the top are the ones you need on the way down. She tells Cassi she is beautiful inside and out, a class act, and a friend for life. Awww. I like those two. I'll be sad to see one of them go. Time for the vote!
By a unanimous vote, Cassi is evicted. Shucks, I thought someone would throw in one of those wonky votes. Those are always good for drama. These people are boooooring. I'm kind of bummed. I actually like Cassi.
Julie tells Cassi that her last plea speech sounded more like a goodbye speech. Cassi says she didn't throw in the towel, but she kind of knew she was going home. She praises Shelly up and down. Cassi says there were girls in the house who didn't like her. Julie asks if it's because she is just so damn pretty. Cassi says she doesn't think they were jealous of her looks because she always wore sweatpants, no makeup, and dirty hair.
Nobody Comes Between Me And My HoH!!
The HoH competition this week is called “Big Brother Online”. America has been voting for answers to questions on CBS's website. The houseguests must answer how they feel America answered. If you get the answer wrong, you are eliminated. The last player standing will be the new HoH.
Question 1: According to America, which houseguest would they rather get mouth to mouth resuscitation from? A. Jeff B. Brendon
Everyone chose Jeff, everyone got it right. Jeff raises his hands in the air and everyone laughs.
Question 2: Which houseguest is more likely to warm the pool with something other than their charm? A. Adam B. Kalia
Everyone chose Adam, everyone got it right.
Question 3: Which houseguest is more likely to steal someone's lover? A. Rachel B. Porsche
Everyone chose B except Kalia. She is wrong and eliminated.
Question 4: Which houseguest is more likely to save someone from a burning building? A. Shelly B. Brendon
Everyone chose B except Jeff. He is wrong and eliminated.
Question 5: Which houseguest would America more like to see spend the entire summer wearing a bikini? A. Porsche B. Daniele
The correct answer is B. Adam, Lawon, and Dominic were all wrong and eliminated. Only Brendon and Rachel are left. Eww.
Question 6: Which houseguest would America rather cheat off of on a test? A. Jordan B. Lawon
Both Rachel and Brendon guessed Lawon and were wrong.
Question 7: Which houseguest is more likely to seriously go bananas in the Big Brother house? A. Adam B. Dominic
The correct answer is A. Rachel is HoH...again.
Julie asks Rachel how it feels to be HoH again. She carries on and I stop listening. She is so obnoxious. Urgh.
To find out what celebrity visited the Big Brother house on Sunday, check out LG's fantabulous recap! Also, next Thursday, a twist will change the way the game is played. Hmm... me thinks they are going to singles. Well folks, we are in for another week of Rachel in charge. Save yourself the agony and just stick to reading our recaps! But, if you want a laugh when you see Julie's outfit, I won't mind if you watch the show.
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