Big Brother July 24 Ė Donít Hassle the Hoff (or the HOH)
Welcome Back, Hamster Watchers, as it is Week 3 of the Rachel show. Itís all about Rachel and her second stint at HOH in three weeks. Others (specifically Lawon) snipe from the safety of the diary room that Rachel needed Cassi out for solely catty reasons because of her jealousy of Cassiís beauty. Dom sticks a fork in the Regulators alliance, now that two of its four members were evicted as the first two group evictions. Yes, it truly was an ill-fated alliance.
Rachel parades out and summons everyone to check out her HOH room. Everyone else is hiding in the living room, waiting to ambush her with pillows. At first she is confused why everyone isnít running forward to kiss her rear end and fawn over her pictures, but then when the pillow brigade attacks, she actually seems flattered that they had all coordinated this special reception for her. See, itís just like my kids Ė any attention is good attention, even if someone is throwing pillows at you.
Next up, we get clips of Dani and Jeff complaining about Dominicís loud snoring while he is sleeping. Dani compares Domís snoring to a bear hibernating. Iím not sure why Jeff is sleeping so close to him, but he really seems annoyed by the snoring.
Rachel announces that there is a luxury challenge this week so none of the houseguests will be Have Nots. That makes all of the Newbies happy, as theyíve been on the short end of the slop stick this season so far. There is a red carpet in the back yard, and someone that none of the houseguests recognizes walks out to their applause. I watch enough tv to know that guy is from the tv show called Same Name and his name is David Hasselhoff. The premise of the show is for regular folks with the same names as celebrities to trade places with the celebrities.
Yes, this whole ďRewardĒ is a plug for the latest CBS show. Oh well. They are starved for any diversion to break up the monotony. The houseguests realize that they have no clue who this guy is, but he introduces the challenge. There will be a series of clues, and the houseguests need to ring a bell and go into the diary room with their guesses for the mystery celebrity. The first clue is bars of SOAP and some OPERA glasses.
Many of the houseguests figure out that the mystery celebrity was a soap opera star, but Jordan takes it one step further, thinks that the opera glasses are for Watch[ing] and the bar of soap somehow represents Bay [really, I have no idea what she was going on for this]. She asks Jeff who played Mitch on Baywatch, he tells her it was David Hasselhoff, and she rings the bell and puts in her guess. I think she just lucked out on that guess, but sometimes dumb luck is better than all the strategy in the world. Mr. LG and I know that the game is now done, but theyíve got this whole challenge worked up, so it continues.
Next clue is a microphone, indicating that the mystery celebrity is also a singer. Germans love him. Then there is a person in a knight costume carrying a lifeguard buoy. People are guessing many crazy things, but some folks must have figured it out by now. For some reason Rachel gives Porsche a clue, which irks Brandon. Then they go in the back yard where KITT the car is waiting, with David Hasselhoff inside. Just in case people didnít recognize him, heís wearing a ďDonít Hassle the HoffĒ shirt. Nice touch. People go nuts to see him, but at this point, they were excited to meet the other David Hasselhoff, as they havenít seen another human being in three weeks.
The Hoff announces that Jordan won the challenge (but doesnít give the real news that she had it after the very first clue). She and three other houseguests of her selection will watch a preview of the Same Name show with The Hoff while snacking on sushi and champagne. The Hoff makes it very clear that heís never watched Big Brother, as he doesnít recognize any of the houseguests and is astounded that they just sit around being bored for months.
Jordan picks Jeff, Kalia and Shelly as her guests for the reward. Rachel and Brendon are so pissed that you can see the steam coming off their foreheads. While Jeff, Jordan, Kalia and Shelly are munching on sushi with the Hoff, Rachel and Brendon storm off to a not very private room where they have a yelling fight about not being picked for the reward. Brendon rips Rachel a new one for giving Porsche a hint, but I failed to see how that it relevant as Porsche didnít win. They are just so competitive that no reward, no matter how lame, can go to anyone else without a tantrum. Brendon even says that he is here to win stuff, not to be nice. Iím not sure that I would cross a street for the opportunity to watch that show and eat sushi with the Hoff, but certainly be sure to have a huge fight, you tools.
The other houseguests sit in the living room, listening to them fight, and wondering why on earth they are considering marriage when they fight all the time. Correction, they fight all of the time when they arenít gloating at other people after winning a challenge. Yes, winning is more fun than losing, and they handle it with the maturity of a preschooler. Rachel and Brendon also carp about how their families are not giving them enough money to plan a fancy wedding. Maybe they are hoping the producers of Bridezillas will be watching and they can get another reality show under their belts.
Brendon and Rachel contemplate nominating Jeff and Jordan as revenge for not being included in the reward. Dominic and Dani show up to plead Dominicís case and push for a Jeff and Jordan nomination. Dani even taunts Rachel, saying it would be too hard for Rachel to nominate them. After the reward, Jeff and Jordan go to the HOH room to kiss the ring. You can tell that these two couples really canít stand each other. It likely wonít be this week, but there will come a time this season where they square off and try to take each other out. So at least there is some excitement in store this summer.
Time for the Nomination Ceremony, and Rachel didnít take Daniís bait. Adam and Dominic are nominated again. Not a shock to anyone. Join us Wednesday to see who will win the veto. We can only hope that someone will annoy Rachel between now and then so sheíll be gunning for that veto to move her nominations to her new target. That would make Rachel very happy, as winning challenges and wielding power make her a glad girl.
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