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You know what the problem with this season is? The contestants are all so darn nice. Even when they weakly try to gameplay, someone invevitably breaks down in tears of regret. And the trainers? Bob is still too nice even when he's trying to be mean, Jillian's lost interest, Cara yells but it's hard to take an 85-lb boxer seriously, and Brett's so quiet I keep forgetting his name. To even things out a bit, host Ali Sweeney has had to put her bitch hat on a time or two. So when the Losers convene in the gym, she can barely contain her delight when she throws yet another twist their way - everyone is being split into 3-member teams, with one trainer per team. There's colored dots and the usual non-random team selection, as follows:

Red Team - Jen, Justin, Courtney, Trainer - Brett
Green Team - Kaylee, Ken, Austin, Trainer - Cara
Blue Team - Moses, Irene, Olivia, Trainer - Bob
Black Team - Rulon, Hannah, Trainer - Jillian

Now, we know ol' Rulon is the size of two or more people, and Jillian may be that good of a trainer, but it does seem a tad unfair anyway. To even things up in an unfair kind of way, Rulon and Hannah get to pick an elminated contestant to return to the ranch and join the new Black Team. Who will they choose? Hint - it's not Arthur. Yeah, I was disappointed too.

The teams spend time bonding with their trainers, so we're treated to the now-standard scenes of Moses crying, Cara's team boxing, and Jillian jumping on Rulon's back. Frankly, it must be hard to resist riding Rulon like he was a trained pet hippo...I'm betting Bob has taken a couple turns himself. The teams are ushered to the next challenge, where Rulon & Hannah reveal that they are bringing back Jay. I'm baffled as to why they would choose to bring back someone who might be actual competition for the Biggest Loser title, but like I said - the gameplay here is weak. Jen is delighted to see her daddy again, but the news for the Black Team isn't great - Jay's weight won't count at the weigh-in, plus he's immune from elimination. Therefore, should the Black Team lose the weigh-in, Rulon & Hannah will definitely be the two on the chopping block at the vote.

The challenge looks complex but is as simple as it comes - the teams must hold weights on a pulley system representing the amount of weight they have lost. The teams will be eliminated as they drop the weights. The weights are all very equal - as groups, the Blue Team has lost 290 lbs, Red 289, Green 289, and Black 322. Which is even enough to make us suppose that Jay's return wasn't totally up to Hannah & Rulon. The winning team will receive video chats from home, which would be more special if they hadn't just been home a couple weeks ago. Indeed, most of the teams are blase about the reward, and Green drops out first. Black is next, then Justin bails on his female teammates. Jen & Courtney gamely hang on while Justin chants supportively in their ears. I would've preferred his upper body strength rather than a cheerleader, but whatever. Moses, weak from crying, drops out, but Irene & Olivia can't manage the task on their own and the weight quickly comes crashing down. The win goes to the Red Team, but they kindly offer their video chats to the Blues. This brings on a fresh spate of tears from you-know-who, which moves me to fast-forward past the chat with Moses' wife, but rest assured it was emotional enough to send NBC's tissue budget rocketing into the red.

After the last-chance workout, where Bob can't resist bailing on his team to participate in a lopsided tug-of-war featuring him & Jillian vs. Rulon, which sends Jillian's skinny ass bumping across the gym floor, it's time for the final weigh-in. The team with the lowest percentage of weight loss will face elimination, but the other teams will be the only ones voting. The biggest loser on the losing team will be immune from elimination.

Black Team

Jay (immune) 289, down to 282 (will not count towards team percentage)
Hannah, 176, down to 172
Rulon, 335, down to 330
1.76%

Blue Team

Moses, 303, down to 300
Irene, 178, down to 173
Olivia, 186, down to 180
1.95%, safe from elimination

Red Team

Jen, 191, down to 187
Courtney, 237, down to 234
Justin, 249, down to 247
1.33%, making the Black Team safe from elimination

Green Team

Kaylee, 174, remains at 174
Austin, 275, down to 272
Ken, 270, down to 263
1.39%, safe from elimination

As Kaylee had decided she wanted to go home, Ken's great 7-lb loss is a downer (not in a good way). She snivels dramatically enough to rival her father, and Brett is understandably pissy about the crappy Green Team gameplay. Ken is apologetic but complains that it's the "only" way to leave the ranch. Ali gets her snark up and barks that the ranch isn't a prison, and that anyone may leave when they choose. She tells Kaylee that she can go home if she wants to, but it's not going to save a Red Team member - there's gonna be an elimination tonight regardless. Moses talks his daughter into remaining at the ranch, so all the scheming ends up being for naught.

So, as Jen's the biggest loser on the Red Team, she's safe tonight, leaving Justin & Courtney are on the block. The teams all meet in the ranch living room and Justin insists on taking the bullet for his teammate. As Courtney still has a fair bit of weight to lose, she doesn't fight his decision too hard. At the vote, Rulon opts not to write his friend's name down, but the rest of the contestants abide by Justin's request and he is sent home. Predictably, Justin proves successful at home, and from a start weight of 365 lbs, he has dropped to 225. He's started his own little Biggest Loser-type fitness class in his Utah hometown, called "Justin's Call-Out". Being a humble, retiring sort, he has t-shirts emblazoned with his name and a logo and spends his mornings putting overweight acquaintances through the workout paces learned on the show. This guy could give Jillian a run for her marketing money. Guess he learned a couple lessons about name-branding along with how to do speedwork on the treadmills.