1/11 Teen Mom Premiere Recap: I'm On Teen Mom, Dude
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Do you hear that? Shhh... listen. If you think you hear the joyful cooing of a baby, or possibly the pleasantries exchanged between mother and father about their new baby... well, you're wrong. If you hear Jenelle's shrieking voice and the sound of money cha-chinging in the bank from MTV to a bunch of teenagers... you're correct! Four of the moms from the most recent season of 16 and Pregnant were chosen to star in the most recent installment of Teen Mom. I like Teen Mom, I really do. Sometimes I think it glorifies teen pregnancy, but a lot of the time I do think it shows how hard it can be for babies to be having babies.
Leah has twin daughters, Ali and Aleeah. She and her boyfriend, Corey, had only been dating a month when they found out they were going to be parents. She ended up cheating on Corey with her ex boyfriend, Robbie. This encounter made her realize that she really wanted to be with Corey. After Corey found out Leah cheated on him, he didn't want anything to do with her. This is where Leah's story begins on Teen Mom. Ali and Aleeah are seven months old now. She is going to be graduating from high school. She meets up with Corey to talk. The grammar exchange between them is atrocious. He doesn't really want anything to do with her still. I can't say I blame them. Baby mama out ho'in around right after having babies isn't a good thing.
Leah and her mom go to get Leah's hair did in preparation for her graduation. She really hopes Corey is going to come. I do too. I like Corey. She has been texting him to ask if he's coming but he won't respond. Leah graduates, sans Corey. He never did text her back. Lame move, Corey. She calls him and asks why he didn't come and he says he just couldn't make it. She invites him to have dinner with her when he comes to pick up the girls and he accepts. It would be their one year anniversary.
Corey arrives and Leah has whipped up a romantic dinner of fried chicken and macaroni and cheese. They make small talk about beds and how hers is more comfortable. He makes a snide comment about not knowing who has laid in her bed. He tells her he doesn't mean to upset her, but he was hurt really badly. He says he just needs time because he wants things to work out for her and the kids. She puts frosting on the cake she made for Corey and it says “I heart you”. He begins to cry. She also gives him a card that basically professes her love for him. They both cry. He says it's getting late and he needs to take the girls. She leaves the room and he comments “F my life” to himself. I wish these two would get together again already.
When we first met Kailyn, she was dating a kid named Jo. They were “in love” AKA bumping uglies. When she got pregnant, she couldn't live with her mom anymore because her mom didn't have a stable home or job. Her mom was also more concerned with her own social life than spending time with her daughter or new grandson. Jo's family took Kailyn in. Since Kail was on 16 and Pregnant, she has graduated from high school, gotten a part time job, and she will soon start community college. Her relationship with Jo has gone downhill because he tries to control her. He tells her they should probably live apart because he thinks Kailyn takes advantage of him. She has to figure out where to live because her mom's house isn't a good option.
Kailyn and Isaac meet with her mom, and Kailyn is concerned about college. She tells her mom that she and Jo have broken up, and her mom doesn't even offer for Kail to move in. Jo's mom tells Kailyn she is part of her family no matter what, and tells Kailyn she can continue to live at the house. Kailyn moves her stuff out of Jo's room and into the basement. Jo avoids her even though they live in the same house. This situation has awkward written all over it.
At work, one of Kailyn's male coworkers asks her to hang out but she just says maybe. He is kind of taken aback and obviously disappointed. Me thinks those two will get together in the future and lots of Jo drama will ensue.
If you watched 16 and Pregnant, you know that Chelsea had a baby girl named Aubree, is really close with her dad, and had a toolbag of a boyfriend named Adam. Adam is like the king of the douches. Yes, he's the one that called Chelsea a “fat stretch mark bitch” and asked her where and when he could sign the papers over for that “mistake”. Ugh. They broke up, but Chelsea fell too far behind in school to graduate on time. Her high school is letting her make up work online and get her diploma. She is ready to move into a house with her friend Megan. Daddy Dearest is going to foot the bill for the rent as long as Chelsea stays on track with her schoolwork. On moving day, little Aubree has a case of explosive diarrhea and poops all over herself and Chelsea. The joys of motherhood.
Chelsea and her friend Megan are enjoying their bachelorette pad. Since it's hard for them to go out, their friends come over and hang out. They trash talk Adam a little bit and Chelsea is hopeful she can find a new guy. Chelsea is having trouble focusing on her schoolwork, even when Aubree is sleeping. Instead of studying, she decides to go out shopping with Megan and Aubree. During the shopping trip, Chelsea's friend Chris calls. She gets all giggly and accepts his dinner invitation. Operation Find-A-Daddy commences!
Chris picks Chelsea up for dinner and he seems more interested in watching the game on the TV at the restaurant than talking to her. She tells Chris that she and Adam are completely done. The dinner goes a little something like this: Chelsea texts Megan, Chris watches the game, Chelsea yells at Chris for watching said game, Chelsea texts Megan again, Chelsea rolls eyes at Chris. It looks like they are having a blast. And by blast I mean they look like they'd rather be getting teeth drilled.
Chelsea goes to visit her daddy and cries that she misses Adam and cries that she wants a happily ever after. I want to reach through the TV and shake her. Adam is toxic!!
Ahhh... Jenelle. My least favorite teen mother. Her voice gets on my nerves and her little spoiled brat attitude gets on my nerves too. She had the baby to a guy named Andrew, but they broke up and he went MIA. There is always tension between Jenelle and her mom. Jenelle likes to go out and have a social life instead of taking care of her cute little Jace. She graduated high school and wants to go to college. We find out that Andrew is supposedly modeling in China and he has been sending child support for Jace. Jenelle's mom lectures Jenelle about being a mother instead of going out, but Jenelle argues that it was Saturday night. Well of course you can ditch your baby on your mother... it's the weekend!
Jenelle gives Jace a bath, puts him to bed, and turns in for the night. Just kidding. She is going out with her friends and dumping her baby on her mother, again. It's like she just expects her mother to watch the baby whenever. She goes to a saloon with her friends and rides a mechanical bull. Riding things is what got you into this mess honey. Jenelle goes out again with her friends and leaves the baby with her mom. The next morning, there is obvious tension between her and her mother. Her mother changes Jace's diaper and Jenelle gets all whiny that she isn't the one doing it. Jenelle's mom basically tells Jenelle she is getting out of control and she needs to start acting more like a mother. Jenelle doesn't feel guilty about going out just because she's a mother. They argue in front of Jace, and when Jenelle doesn't feel like being involved anymore, she announces, “I'm f$%^ing through dude” and walks away. Poor Jace. He's too sweet to have a mother like that. Oh, did I mention I don't like Jenelle?
Jenelle is trying harder to be a good mom and focus on Jace, but Barbara is squawking in her ear every five seconds telling her what to do or making a comment about something. Jenelle goes to the bathroom and her mom changes Jace's clothes. Jenelle freaks out that her mom won't even let her dress her own child, and then she drops a few F bombs about the internet not working. Can anyone say anger management? She grabs her mom's modem or router or something while her mom yells at her to put it back. Jenelle screams and pushes her mother. Barbara says Jenelle needs to leave or she's calling the cops.
Jenelle leaves and goes to stay with friends. She has been trying to call her mom, but her mom won't answer. She decides to just go to her mom's house instead. As she pulls in, she gets served papers from a law firm. Barbara is fighting her for custody of Jace. Jenelle mentions several times that she's going to “f*%^ing kill” her mother. Dude. For real, dude. She slams the car door shut and storms into her mom's house. She's screaming F words left and right at her mom, calls her mom a bitch, the f word, and tells Barbara she hates her. Jenelle starts pushing into her mom and tells her mom to back up or she will f*$(ing punch her in the face. Wow. Her mom should slap her. What a freakin' brat. She is vile. She tells her mom she is going to spit in her face and that her mom will never get custody of Jace because he is Jenelle's. Barbara tells her to start taking care of him, and Jenelle screeches some more like a wild monkey. Jenelle doesn't even deserve to be on this show. Ugh, get her off my screen.
Well, we survived the premiere episode of this season. I'm not sure how I feel about this crop of new mothers yet. Well, I know how I feel about Jenelle. Jenelle almost makes me miss Amber. Almost.
Come on back next week and join our discussion in the Teen Mom forum!