We rejoin the houseguests where we left off last Thursday, in the middle of the HOH contest. The houseguests need to try to balance on surfboards that move around while being drenched with cold water.

Surfin’ Safari – High Stakes HOH Contest Determines Have Nots

There is a twist to give an incentive for quitting early: The first four to bail out (plus prior week’s HOH Rachel, who is ineligible to compete) will be “Haves” who get to eat unlimited food, have warm water showers, and not sleep in the creepy “Have Not” room. In rapid order, Kathy, Lane, Hayden, and Britney bail off the surf boards to ensure their own comfort this week. Hayden proclaims that he feels safe, and Britney admits that she just doesn’t want to be a Have Not two weeks in a row.

This leaves just five guys: Andrew, Ragan, Matt, Enzo, and Brendon competing for HOH. They are all risking being Have Nots on the chance to win HOH. They’ve been up there over an hour, and then Brigade member Enzo is the next to fall.

Brendon vows that he’s trying to win to save himself and Rachel for another week. As soon as that declaration is made, Brendon falls. Andrew, Ragan, and Matt are left competing in the cold, and Ragan thinks its time to start talking turkey. Matt and Andrew vow to protect each other, but Matt wants no part of talking deals. Then Matt reminds us that he’s a mastermind. Refusing to even talk to two houseguests that you aren’t actually fighting with who have a high potential to be HOH that week doesn’t seem like the work of a mastermind to me. What do I know. I’ve only watched every season of this show (and recapped many of them).

Matt wins HOH, which causes Rachel and Brendon to go into full-out meltdown, especially Rachel, who turns on the waterworks. Brendon feels like he’s let her down, wanting to be her knight in shining armor. Rachel seems like she enjoys riding the emotional rollcoaster, as even things that have nothing to do with her seem to impact her more than anyone else.

The Rain In Spain Falls Mainly On the Plain – Jersey-Style

Then they show a funny segment of Britney playing Henry Higgins to Jersey boy Enzo’s Eliza Doolittle. Almost as comical as the scene from Real Housewives of New Jersey where she takes her aspiring actress daughter to a dialect coach, and cannot figure out why she needs one, Enzo too seems baffled by the concept that he has an accent. She tries to get him to pronounce “coffee” and “dog.” Why bother. The man calls himself the “Meow Meow” for crying out loud. There is no chance that he’ll pass for Midwestern.

Then we see Matt’s HOH room, with the requisite junk food basket and pictures of his parents, wife, and kids (I can’t remember, was it one kid or too). His wife’s letter plays right into his master lie that she has some terrible disease. I don’t know if that was advanced planning on his part with his wife, creative reading skills, or a lucky coincidence for Matt. Whatever, I think it is terrible karma to tempt fate by claiming to be a victim of a serious disease when there are so many families dealing with serious illness. Matt’s a tool and I hope that some of our more likeable contestants, like Ragan, Andrew, or even Kristen can make it to the end and take the big prize.

The Old Saying “Get A Room” Needs to be Clarified to: “Get An Unoccupied Room.”

Brendon and Rachel can’t stop making out in front of poor Andrew. They share a room with Andrew, but he is apparently supposed to sleep in a standing position in the closet to accommodate their 24/7 makeout fest, that doesn’t even take a break when they are hanging out together in the bathroom.

Then they take their mutual admiration society outside. Rachel and Brendon both work out while admiring their own and each others’ physiques, while Britney and Lane mock them from the kitchen. Lane says he loves playing role play, saying back on the ranch he wonders what the cows and horses would be saying to him if they could talk. Whoa.

The Have Nots, Andrew, Ragan, Enzo and Brendon, find out what America voted for them to eat. I was personally pulling for prunes and pate, both of which I like. America is more cruel, apparently, and picked baby food and bok choy. Andrew is stoked because the baby food is kosher, and he immediately digs in. Andrew’s over-zealousness over baby food reminds us of his overly joyful reaction to Rachel’s HOH victory last week. Let’s hope that it is not just as misplaced, with Andrew ending the week cursing the Gerber folks for their maniacal creations.

Nomination Time

Rachel and Brendon lobby Matt to stay off the nomination block. He reminds them that Rachel broke his deal with her by calling a house meeting and telling everyone that he had volunteered to be a pawn last week. All wasn’t forgiven, but Matt indicates that he has other targets.

Matt calls Andrew aside to give him a heads up that he’s going to nominate him, but really doesn’t want him to leave. He attempts to butter Andrew up by pointing out that he’s no longer as dorky and awkward to the rest of the houseguests as he was the first week. Wow, that’s high praise. Andrew thinks that’s a terrible idea, but keeps his cool. Matt also mentions that he’s gunning for Kathy because she voted to evict him the prior week.

Very predictably, Matt nominates Andrew and Kathy. Other members of the Brigade hope that he’s planning to backdoor Rachel or Brendon, which he could do if the veto is used, but certainly not a done deal. We’ll see how the mastermind spends the rest of his week ruling from the HOH room. Tune in Wednesday to see if the backdoor plan comes into play.

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