Yoffy lifts a finger...
Standing in the shadows - A collaboration Week 3
What can I say? I pegged her as an emotional roller coaster from the first episode. I really donít feel right about commenting on Tedís advances. We will never know what really happened that night, what Tedís true intentions were, or how Ghandia truly perceived his actions. However, they are playing a game and we were privy to both of their actions after the ďeventĒ. Every woman behaves differently when she feels her personal space has been violated by unwanted advances. I donít necessarily think it is completely beyond the realm of possibility that Ghandia had some kind of legitimate delayed response to Tedís grinding. I also donít necessarily think itís improbable that Ghandia exaggerated the extent of Tedís sleepy actions. Either way, itís not my place to say and itís really not my business. I do, however, think that Ghandia could not have handled the situation more poorly from gamesmanship, as well as personal relations standpoints. Whatever happened between Ghandia and Ted was obviously not a part of the game until she decided to make it so. Itís easy to say how we would have handled the situation, but we werenít there. That leaves us to speculate on how it could have been handled after the fact. I have to say that the only thing she could have done to make matters worse than she actually did would have been not dropping the machete before throwing her very public hissy fit.
There is really no nice way to say thisÖGhandia heavy-handedly tried to play the victim card, (whether she actually felt victimized is not the point). The ladies went for it. We have yet to really see how the men of the tribe are going to come down on this. Whether or not they end up aligning with Ted or Ghandia on this specific issue, I think the remaining men are smart enough to realize that Ghandia is a hothead and a liability to the team in competition. Ted, on the other hand, is a strong competitor, and more than likely will outstay his accuser. Ted -1, Ghandia -100.
Worst move: There are far too many to name, so Iím going to go with the easy oneÖsigning up to play the game. Best move: I havenít seen one yet.
Ken, Ken, Ken
Whatís up buddy? When are we going to get to know the guy behind the sh*t eating grin? Are you our ďone high-profile episode and out the back doorĒ man, or our ďlate game spotlightĒ hog? Itís still a little too early to tell what Marky has in store for you.
Worst move: We really havenít seen any bad moves from you yet. We know that perfection does not exist on that island, so we patiently wait for something to rear itís ugly head. Best move: Communicating effectively enough to be included in the ďvote Jed outĒ loop, instead of making an ass of yourself with the ďShii Ann is annoyingĒ crowd.
Stephanie, Stephanie, Stephanie...
I've got good news and bad news for you. The good news is that you'll live to see another week on the island after a Tribal Council that many thought would surely result in you being booted. The bad news is that you'll live to see another week on the island after a Tribal Council that many hoped, er thought, would surely result in you being booted. Why oh why did you align yourself with Robb and Jed so early on in this game? Sure, that alliance may not have been given a lot of air time this week, but it'll come back to bite you in the butt, and you probably won't make the merge, much less the jury.
Worst move: Did you not hear what Jeff said when he gave instructions for the Reward Challenge? If any part of your body is in the water, you are out of that round and must swim back to join your tribemates. Yet, you were sitting on the logs with almost your entire lower torso in the water, and you still tried to attack your opponent...
Best move: Again, you lived to see another 3 days in the game. There were plenty of reasons for your tribemates to vote you off the island, but you came through without receiving so much as a single vote against you.
Best move -
The only thing I can come up with that would be worthy of calling a best move on Janís part would be pointing out the spire in the IC. I am pretty sure that no one else saw it. There could be case for argument that another good move would be to not sleep next to Ghandia.
Worst Move -
The worst move, hands down was Janís choosing to wear a bathing suit on national television and by doing so scaring our very own Paulie. It really wasnít a cool move on her part. I am not sure we will ever be able to forgive her.
Advice - Oil Of Olay. I have no idea if it is actually too late, but itís worth a shot. The tight ponytails are not pulling the wrinkles far enough back.
Best Move -
SHE purposely lost the IC. She could have done it blindfolded. My question is: Could she have done it blindfolded if Penny were guiding her?
Worst Move -
Trying to take on Ted in the RC and actually thinking sheíd be able to. Being tossed into the water like a rag doll doesnít score points with the tribe.
Advice - Wipe the cocky look off your face. No one is safe here Shii Ann
Penny always has to mention food. This week it was cheese and crackers. I canít help but think that that is the last thing her tribe mates want to hear about is food. Maybe if the next IC challenge is a contest to see who can drink a gallon of water then hold their pee the longest. Penny can then help her tribe mates by taking their minds off of it. She could talk about Niagara Falls, The Mississippi River, The beautiful Pacific Ocean and Tinkling Springs retirement community. Yes, I see it happening.
Best Move: Listens to both sides of the Ghandia/Ted Saga and remains cool during the whole unpleasant ordeal. Learns as much as he can from the Red Berets.
Worst Move: None that I could see.
Brian did pretty good during the Reward Challenge. He flinged Shii-Ann like a rag doll into the water, but didnít fare too well against Super Ken and Mighty Dentist Boy. With his team winning the RC, Brian closely watches and learns all the survival tips he can from the Red Berets. When the Ghandia/Ted scandal explodes, Brian uses his best judgement and listens to both sides of the story. He doesnít press the issue when Ted said nothing happened between him and Big G. Brian proceeds to tell Helen of his talk with Ted. Thatís when shit hits the fan. But being the Cool Hand Luke that he is, he remains calm and suggests that the team needs to start with a clean slate. Brian, and the rest of the tribe are able to put their woes aside and complete the puzzle challenge to win Immunity. As long as Brian keeps playing it cool and not making waves, he will make it well into the merge. I like him because, even though, he didnít want to be in the Chewing Gum team, he is making the most out of it. Yep....He's in it for the long haul.
Best Move: None unless I count his pretty blond hair moving in the wind.
Worst Move: Where to start. He is lazy. He lost the fishing net. He delegated his chores. He canít follow rules and gets disqualified. He canít figure out the puzzle challenge. Did I mention he is lazy?
His Laziness decides to take a siesta and leaves the fishing net unattended. Realizing that the net is lost, he makes a point to let us know that he delegated that chore to someone else. Yeah, thatís the ticket! Hmmm...Whatever! The RC rules are not rocket science, but what does Dr. Lazy do? He rams into Brian while he is still outside of the attack zone and gets disqualified. Doh! What a bonehead! For some strange reason, Jed (Twiddle Dee) and his partner Robb (Twiddle Dum) are allowed to take the lead in this Immunity challenge. Thereís not enough brain power between those two to power up one light bulb. Gee...Ya think somethingís up, Jed. Of course not! Smoke is coming out of his brain trying to figure out the puzzle. Jed doesn't get why his team mates are slow as molasses during the challenge. Wake up and smell the coffee Jed! You are about to be sacrificed. Think Silas! At Tribal Council, Jiffy Lube asks Jed if he was hoping for a food reward challenge. Jed gives us some lame answer. We all know that is exactly what he was hoping for. Well that or a giant bird swooping down and feeding him like a newborn chick. The ďDown with the LaziesĒ Alliance sends Dr. Freaking Lazy packing. Even during his monotone farewell, Jed claims he didnít see it coming. Hello? Anybody Home? Note to Jed: You were an unfriendly, lazy, delegator of chores that made an alliance with the two worst members. In all fairness, you were a strong swimmer and good competitor at most of the physical challenges, but you failed miserably at building a comraderie with your tribe. I had such high hopes for you. Iíll miss you, though. Farewell, my Pretty Boy! No Yee-haw for you this time!
Being a blabbermouth was Helen's big mistake for the week. She's apparently trying to use the Ghandia/Ted thing to create her own little alliance. Unfortunately, this will backfire because Jan doesn't like her. Helen's best move for the week was realizing that she's playing a game out here, and not just surviving. I think she's toning down the leadership thing as much as she's able, which will help her stick around for a while.
Erin's best move for the week was just continuing to work with the larger subgroup of her tribe, and keeping as low under the radar as she's able to. Of course, no matter how low she tries to get, 2 mountains always seem to show up on the radar, don't they? Erin's worst fashion faux pas is having her hair so short that she looks like a bobble-head doll when she talks. I can't stop staring at her neck...Or just below it, anyway. She's more intelligent than I originally gave her credit for, and she continues to play the game well, by all appearances. I don't see her as a boot potential any time soon.
Robb the Knob
Well Robb started out the show by making a really stupid comment. He says that it's strange to see where all the fish come from, and not know how to get them. He has finally figured out that the title of the show is Survivor , and if you sit on the beach and do nothing - you will starve. I'm flashing back to the "Most Eligible Bachelor in Arizona"???? C'mon .
At the challenge Robb has trouble with simple rules. If you engage someone outside the zone, you will be disqualified and your item transfered to the Chews. Ken Has trouble with this and gets booted from the game immediately, prompting Robb to flip two birds in the air.Problem solved thinks Robb.He thinks he has an excellent grip on the rules,as that's what he does to Clay's neck, outside the engagment zone of course.Robb has a really confused look on his face as he swims back after being disqualified . After the Sucks team repeatedly breaks the rules and loses, Robb comments that it wasn't a good reward to win anyway.He has forgotten his fish question already.Instead of cluing in that the survival specialists could have helped them ,he just comments Clay is a whiny little punk.
Dumb and Dumber go after all those fish again but then decide they are tired, and have a nap. They had the brilliant idea to leave the net out in the water for awhile to catch the fish, but forget to anchor it. Robb and Jed lose the tribe's net. Doh. Robb is seen chewing on the head of the one teeny tiny fish they caught. Funniest ever scene .
Shii anne ,who comments she could do a puzzle like the IC in her sleep, lets the brainless two, Jed and Robb take charge. Robb likes to be in charge.He hasn't got a clue, but he likes it. Sucks loses - Surprise!
Robb's gonna boot Shii, but forgets that 3 is less than 5, so Jed goes.He's probably so dim witted he doesn't see his own head on the chopping block- pre merge.
Once again, we didn't get to see much of Jake this week. We did get to see that awesome hat again, though. If that thing shows up on eBay for one of those Elisabeth Glazer Foundation auctions, it's bound to net the most money of any Survivor hat for this series. It's just so striking and manly-looking. How can you vote off a guy with a hat like that?!?
Jake kept his nose clean during the Sook Jai's first two failed Challenges. He got to sit with Erin and her girls during the tackle football Challenge. This was a quality move because he wasn't accountable for the complete self-destruction of the Sook Jai team in that Challenge. Similarly, he led doomed Dr. Jed take over in the Towers of Hanoi Immunity Challenge. Nobody will fault Jake for causing the team to lose.
Injury alert! As stated earlier, Jake really needs to keep himself in top physical condition. His longest session on-screen this week was to show off his disgusting foot blisters. Wrap those babies up and keep 'em dry, Jake, my man! The moment you show a sign of weakness, the youngsters will play the "He's old and feeble" card and punt you out of bounds.
Oh, boy. Here we go. Two weeks of friendly, supportive, under-the-radar Ted Jr., all blown to hell by a dumb, dumb decision by Ted Jr. Jr. (if you know what I mean). Every man knows the dangers of allowing Junior to make decisions for you. In a highly competitive environment like Survivor, where everybody around you is actively looking for reasons to vote you off, you simply can't allow yourself to become a target like that. On top of all that, you have to remember that your actions do not take place in a vacuum. You'll have to answer for everything you do when you get home. Why on earth would you jeopardize two marriages for twenty seconds of "grinding"? Ol' Ted may have just ruined any chance he had of winning the game.
Well, given that he'd already lynched himself by gnawing on Ghandia (and, by the way, if you're going to go down in flames, why not nibble on Tanya instead of Ghandia?), he did an excellent job of minimizing the damage to his status in the game. His apology to Ghandia appeared genuine (even though his explanation was pretty shaky), and hauling the group over to get the facts on the table and clear the air appears to have left him in better shape (relatively speaking) than Mount Ghandia after her eruption.
Duh. In a battle for a million bucks, you gotta keep your eyes on the prize. You can't let anyone's butt, no matter how big, block that vision. Back in Australia, Jeff Varner threw in the towel for a glob of peanut butter. At the time, I thought that was the most trivial motivation to give up your standing in the game I had ever seen. Ted's evening of one-sided passion has now supplanted Jeff's peanut butter. At least Jeff got to enjoy the taste. Hope it was worth it, big fella.
This week was Chuay Gahn's big moment with two Challenge victories. Interestingly, though, Clay wasn't really a big part of the team's good fortune for the week. Well, except for the time when he, uh, stuck his neck out for the good of the team in the pontoon tackle part of the program. He still had some choice commentary in the personal interviews, but he was much more in the background overall than he had been in the first two episodes.
Clay's best move had to be giving up when Robb tried to crush his windpipe with his bare hands. Fighting back might only have provoked Robb, who appears to be just one level removed from being a 100% pure stimulus-response machine. Falling in the water after the dramatic "Gurk! He's killing me!" scene pushed Sook Jai further along the path to their ultimate destruction in the Reward Challenge.
While Clay's response to Robb's attack was masterfully Shakespearean in its delivery, it may have permantently alienated him from members of the Sook Jai tribe. If Burnett pulls a switcheroo or even if it takes all the way to the merge, the Sook Jai are not likely to forget Clay's panicky death rattle and how it led to their downfall in that Challenge.
Thank you to everyone who contributed to this article.
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