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Thread: 9/16 Biggest Loser Premiere Recap: This isn't Hard...It's Extreme

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    would rather be cruising! marybethp's Avatar
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    9/16 Biggest Loser Premiere Recap: This isn't Hard...It's Extreme

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    "Feel the fear. Do it anyway" -- Jillian

    "I know it hurts, but I'm saving your life right now" -- Bob

    "This show is so inspiring, but I feel like a pizza" -- marybethp


    Okay, seriously. I am always hungry when I watch this show! Tonight is no exception, but in an effort to remain healthy, I grab a vitamuffin, a glass of 1% milk and some tissues. Bob always makes me drool cry.

    Welcome back to the newest installment of The Biggest Loser. This season we're treated to a family edition. We meet our teams as both Jillian and Bob surprise them in their hometowns.

    Bob will be training 4 married couples:
    1. Phil/Amy - Red Team
    2. Ed/Heba - Orange Team
    3. Brady/Vicky - Brown Team
    4. Adam/Stacey - Green Team

    Jillian will be torturing training 4 parent/child pairings:
    1. Tom/LT - Grey Team
    2. Shellay/Amy - Purple Team
    3. Renee/Michelle - Pink Team
    4. Jerry/Coleen - Yellow Team

    We're shown a montage of full-on torture in the gym, demanding challenges and the emotion behind the weight struggle. It makes me hungry want to keep tuned in.

    Our Contestants

    We start with Real Estate Agents Phil and Amy. They have an autistic son as well as 2 other children. Amy said once her son was diagnosed, her comfort was nighttime eating. She shrills with excitement when Bob shows up and she learns she's headed to California. (It's at this point I get "Going Back to Cali" by LL Cool J in my head and in the next hour I'm ready to hang myself. Yo man, I don't think so).

    We then meet Tom and Tom (or LT for "Little" Tom). Their immediate and extended family is extremely overweight - upwards of 500 pounds. They are happy to be picked in hopes of making their whole family lose weight.

    Ed and Heba are newlyweds. Ed's a chef and has an addiction to cheez doodles. I get it. They're good. They are shown in a bar doing shots when they learn the news. I thought Heba was going to lose her lunch.

    So we then meet Shellay and her daughter Amy who basically ruin the whole fake setup surprise thing by saying "are we in?" to Jillian. Thanks, Shellay.

    On to Brady and Vicky who are in a delicious looking donut shop ordering the entire menu. They're worried about their 63 pound 4 year old daughter who outweighs their 7 year old son by 13 pounds. They want to get healthy and set a better example for their kids.

    We scoot off to Dallas where we meet Renee and Michelle. They are mother and daughter who have been estranged since Renee and her husband divorced and she took all the kids but Michelle. Michelle felt as if there were something wrong with her and ate her way into a comfort zone.

    Off to Washington DC where we meet Adam and Stacy. They work together and Bob pops into their cafeteria to surprise them. They're just so excited to be on the show and can't wait to prove themselves.

    Finally we meet Jerry and Coleen. Jerry is an Ohio police sergeant who can't do his job properly anymore due to his weight. He feels second guessed by the other policemen. Coleen just wants a healthy dad. Jillian jumps out of a police cruiser to let them know they're in. Jillian also wonders aloud if she can have a gun. They way she trains, I wouldn't put it past her to shoot someone in the ass to keep them running on the treadmill.

    Our 8 couples walk toward the ranch while we hear all of those weight related clichés all ending with everyone saying at the same time "I want to be the biggest loser".

    Initial Weigh In and Product Placement Number One

    This year I can finally refer to HostAli as just Ali since there aren't any Ali contestants. Yay! But just to piss me off, there are 2 Amy's and in an effort to screw with my spell check, Coleen has one "l". Ed thinks Ali's a hottie. Thanks newlywED. Not sure Heba would like to know that. Ali reminds them they are experiencing the chance of a lifetime.

    They head to the gym and Bob and Jillian join their teams. The weigh in begins. As a reminder, the teams weigh in together and their combined percentage of total weight lost is what is measured and is the number to beat. But there will only be one Biggest Loser, so at some point we're to assume the teams will dissolve as only one person can win the Jell-O grand prize of $250,000.

    Weigh in begins

    Renee 267/Michelle 242/Total 509
    Jerry 380/Coleen 218/Total 598
    Shellay 216/Amy 239/Total 455
    Phil 331/Amy 229/Total 560
    Adam 340/Stacey 221/Total 561
    Brady 341/Vicky 246/Total 587
    Ed 335/Heba 294/Total 629
    Tom 314/LT 357/Total 671

    The Workout Begins

    So our gym torturesession begins. Jillian fears she's now seen as the "nice one". That pisses her off. That pisses me off too, because that implies Bob is not the nice one anymore.

    Amy the Child (not to be confused with Amy the Wife) is our first crier. Jillian gets right in her face. We see all sorts of struggling, drooling and "I can't do it"'s along with Bob and Jillian barking orders. Nothing new this season. Let's move along.

    In typical Jillian fashion, she screams at Jerry that the only way he's getting off of the treadmill is if he dies on it. Nice. She tells him unless he faints, pukes or dies, keep walking.

    We see Jerry visiting the doctor who says Jerry is the sickest person ever to be on The Biggest Loser. He tells Jillian that Jerry is only allowed to exercise for 30 minutes per day. Apparently he can stop walking without fainting, puking OR dying. Jillian wants Jerry to keep on fighting because if he doesn't stay and get healthy, she fears for his survival.

    Who's up for a challenge?

    The contestants are standing at the bottom of a large hill only to wonder what is about to happen. A multitude of planes fly overhead with banners that say "Libra's a liar". Oops, wrong show. Each plane has a banner with a different prize which include: 2 days of luxury, a phone call home, an overnight visit home, $5,000, an extra vote, 24 hours alone with your trainer, immunity and the dreaded 2 pound penalty.

    The couples must climb the one mile of rough terrain to the top and to the banner of their choice winning that prize. The last person up would presumably get the 2 pound penalty unless someone's dumb enough to want it. Jerry and Tom cannot compete for medical reasons (Tom's is unbeknownst to us), so Coleen and LT must compete alone. Shellay thinks it will be a piece of cake. Famous last words.

    Okay, so we go to commercial and for those of you not in the New York area, let me tell you the 11:00 news teaser.
    "Airlines are cutting back, but not on porn". At 11.
    WTF?

    Sorry for the digression, but now I've really heard it all.

    So the challenge begins. Vicky was struggling and Brady wasn't happy. Thanks for the support Brady. Adam and Stacey got separated. Phil and Amy had to take an oxygen break. Coleen, working alone, got to the flag first and she (obviously) chose immunity. Adam and Stacey selected the 2 day luxury, Ed and Heba got $5,000. LT also working alone got the extra vote. Renee and Michelle got a phone call home. Phil and Amy were hoping for, and got, a visit home. Brady and Vicky got... a commercial.

    More Product Placement!

    We hear about how last season, they saved over 30,000 plastic bottles on the Biggest Loser Ranch. They are asking us, the viewing audience, to please use a Brita pitcher and reusable bottle to save on all of those plastic water bottles. I'll try Bob, but I do love my Poland Spring. It fits nicely in my waistband that I use when I walk.

    So anyway, we're back and Shellay and Amy get 24 hours with their trainer, which leaves Brady and Vicky to get the 2 pound penalty. Coleen was SO happy to get immunity for Jerry. She really wants him to stay at the ranch as long as he can.

    For product placement number 3, we see the 24 hour fitness arm band which helps log food and calories. As of lunchtime, LT burned 3320 calories and consumed 204. Holeeeeeeee crap.

    I'm Dr. Death Huizenga, Nice to Meet You

    So now comes the "Wow are we so unhealthy" segment with Dr. Huizenga. We get to see the biological age of some of the contestants. I guess they couldn't fit all of the results into this really short 2 hour show. /sarcasm.
    • First we see Amy the Child's fat-laced, cigarette smoke-laden lungs. She's devastated. Her chronological age of 26 is a biological age of 47.
    • Next is Michelle's heart encased in fat. Lovely! Her chronological age of 26 is a biological age of 41.
    • Moving along to Vicky and her weak bones, making her chronological age of 37 a biological age of 48. She says "almost 10 years". Oops Vicky. It's not "almost". It's more. She's so sad about this, apparently it messes with the addition portion of her brain.
    • Ed's blood actually had the cream rising to the top as it sat overnight. Good Lord that's disgusting. He's pre-diabetic with high blood pressure and metabolic syndrome. He & Heba realize having kids right now is out of the question.
    • LT's eating habits are thoroughly disgusting, not to mention he smokes. His chronological age of 23 is biologically 49. Over double his age (but don't ask Vicky).
    • Jerry has about 200 pounds of hydrated fat jammed into his heart cavity. When completing his heart test, he completed what they would expect a 95 year old person to complete. His chronological age of 51 is a biological age of 76. Coleen is devastated and Jerry is rudely awakened. For some reason, I have a soft spot for Jerry. I'm rooting for him and Coleen - not only for the win, but for his health. He really needs it.
    Last Chance Workout from Hell

    We have our last chance workout. All of the contestants are pushing themselves through the yelling, torture and pure hell. Heba believes that the last chance workout ranks up there with childbirth which she hasn't yet experienced. Okay, I can't claim to know what it feels like to have Jillian standing on you making you hold her up, all the while screaming at you, but I'm sure as hell positive it's not as bad as pulling a 7 pound watermelon through a peephole. Trust me. It hurts like hell and it's sweatier.

    Final Weigh In

    So we head to weigh in where Ali looks adorable in her floral dress. It reminds me how happy I am that Caroline "Rag Shop" Rhea isn't the host anymore. We're reminded that the 2 teams that lose the least percentage of weight fall below the yellow line and the other teams decide who out of those 2 will leave the ranch.

    Coleen and Jerry have immunity, so they weigh in first as their totals don't count.
    Coleen started at 218/ this week 208 (-10)
    Jerry started at 380/ this week 363 (-17)

    Heba started at 294/ this week 282 (-12)
    Ed started at 335/ this week 318 (-17)
    Orange Team loses (-29) for a percentage of 4.61%

    Renee started at 267/ this week 253 (-14)
    Michelle started at 242/ this week 225 (-17)
    Pink Team loses (-31) for a percentage of 6.09%

    Tom started at 314/ this week 290 (-24)
    LT started at 357/ this week 339 (-18)
    Grey Team loses (-42) for a percentage of 6.26%

    Phil started at 331/ this week 308 (-23)
    Amy started at 229/ this week 213 (-16)
    Red Team loses (-39) for a percentage of 6.96%

    Adam started at 340/ this week 321 (-19)
    Stacey started at 221/ this week 212 (-9)
    Green Team loses (-28) for a percentage of 4.99%

    Shellay started at 216/ this week 204 (-12)
    Amy started at 239/ this week 222 (-17)
    Purple Team loses (-29) for a percentage of 6.37%

    Brady started at 341/ this week 313 (-28)
    Vicky started at 246/ this week 227 (-19)
    Brown Team loses (-47) for a percentage of 7.67% (including their 2 pound penalty)

    Adam and Stacy and Ed and Heba fall below the yellow line. Within the hour one team will go home

    The Elimination

    Vicky and Brady vote Adam and Stacey
    Phil and Amy vote Adam and Stacey
    Tom and LT get 2 votes and use both of them on Adam and Stacey

    We don't need to see the remaining votes and Adam and Stacey are eliminated and are not the Biggest Loser(s).

    Stacey came to the ranch at 221 and now weighs 175 (-46 pounds). Her finale goal is a brand new dress.
    Adam came to the ranch at 340 and now weighs 286 (-54 pounds). His finale goal is 220 pounds.

    Next week we have tears galore for Phil and Amy when they get to speak to their son. We also get the suspense of the dreaded Week 2 gains...will this year break the Week 2 curse? Stay tuned for next week's 2 hour episode. At this rate, if nothing else, my fingers will be quite slim from all this typing exercise.

    What's your biological age? Has your airline cut out porn? PM me!
    Last edited by marybethp; 09-17-2008 at 10:55 PM.

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