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Welcome back for another week of wild hairstyles and salon smack talk! If you watched last week’s episode of Shear Genius, you know that Paulo won a challenge that required the stylists to cut and color wigs for women who have Alopecia, a condition that caused them to lose their hair. It was very weepy and emotional….or maybe that was just Paulo…..and Nicole (…and me). Gail’s work looked the most like a wig, so she went home. Now we’re down to 7 stylists, one of whom, shockingly, is Nekisa, who has managed to stick around in spite of the fact that she’s been in the bottom two of pretty much every Short Cut Challenge this season.

The morning after Gail’s ouster, the stylists are all back in the salon to meet Jaclyn Smith for this week’s Short Cut Challenge. Standing next to Jaclyn is Kim Vo, the Queen of Color. Jaclyn congratulates Paulo on winning the last Elimination Challenge and directs everyone’s attention to the Allure Wall of Hair, where Paulo’s wig cut is now displayed. I’m sure that really takes the sting out of winning the first challenge of the season where the winner doesn’t get immunity.

This week’s Short Color Challenge, Kim Vo tells them gleefully, is all about color. They will be coloring the clients’ hair the most radical colors of the rainbow. They should aim for vibrant and over-the-top hair. Kim Vo will be this week’s judge and he admits this is his favorite challenge so far. He then does the lame name-dropping thing, telling everyone he’s styled “celebrities” like Fergie, Britney and *gasp* Perez Hilton.

Each stylist chooses a scissor box and Jaclyn calls the clients into the salon. Each scissor box contains a colored comb: each client has a matching comb. The stylists and clients pair off and get to work. They’re aiming for an extreme color transformation, so they’ll get 4 hours to ensure the colors can be fully realized. The winner will receive immunity at the next elimination and a will have a hand in determining the outcome of the next challenge.

The United Colors of Crayola
The challenge begins and Kim wanders from station to station, surveying the damage-to-come. Glenn tells her client she wants to create something fun, funky and beautiful. Nekisa shows her client some colors I thought only existed in yarn: bright red for the bangs and bright purple for the rest. These are some brave girls. Are they planning on shaving their heads after this? Dee wants her client to look fiery and plans to do a range of colors from red for yellow. Paulo confidently announces that he’s going to do the cut first and isn’t too worried about the color. Daniel explains that he wants to give his client to be able to maintain her new style easily.

Nekisa tells Kim Vo that she’s removing the color from the top of the client’s head so that it doesn’t interfere with the new color: she wants to create a “flower of color.” Nicole works on getting the black color out of her client’s hair. The client admits to having dyed her hair countless times. Paulo is leaning toward Marge Simpson blue and Kim Vo cautions him: yellow and blue can result in green. Paulo says he’s taking the hair platinum first. Charlie’s doing flames in his client’s hair as well, but then mentions pink. Maybe he means the other kind of flaming.. Dee is going for a Bird of Paradise thing with the lightest color at the bottom and then again at the top.

With one hour left, none of the stylists is even close to finishing. Paulo’s blue hair is not nearly as smurfy as he planned: it’s dark and there isn’t enough contrast. Just as Nekisa is rinsing out her client’s hair, the sinks clog up and the blue dye pools in the sink. She whines that it going to cause the color in her client’s hair to bleed. Charlie looks on and bitches about Nekisa’s excuses.

Time is called and Kim Vo judges the results. Nekisa’s purple doesn’t have too much vibrancy. Nekisa whines some more about the sink backing up. Kim asks why she didn’t just put some of the hair pieces (made available to all of them) to punch up the color. She doesn’t have an answer other than to whine about the time. Dee used five colors on her client’s hair and Kim Vo loves it. Nicole explains that she spent a lot of time getting the black color out of her client’s hair. Kim is non-plussed by the results. Kim likes the blonde that Glenn chose, but isn’t crazy about the other colors. Paulo’s bright blue hair is nowhere in sight: it’s more of a dark purple. Kim lectures him: when hair is over-processed, it often will go black instead of blue. Kim loves Charlie’s carousel horse ‘do. Charlie used purple, pink, black, a warm brown and then put in some gold streaks too. Kim says he doesn’t know if Dallas is ready for the style Daniel created.

Blue Dye + Big Ego = Black
Kim compliments the stylists: there was a lot of creativity and he loved the vibrant, vivid colors. Unfortunately, some of them were less impressive than others. His bottom two are, unsurprisingly, Paulo and Nekisa, who then proceeds to complain about winding up in the bottom two once again. Because he’s judging on the hairstyle and not on attitude, Kim declares Paulo the challenge loser. Paulo has enough nerve to look surprised.

Kim’s top two are Dee and Charlie. He says Charlie broke out of his box and really pushed the envelope, while Dee wanted and got a Bird of Paradise. Plus, she enhanced the client’s existing cut. The challenge winner is Charlie and boy, is Dee piiiiissed. She bitches that Kim Vo must be smoking crack because Charlie’s style is drag queen all the way. Charlie will have immunity in the next Elimination Challenge. Also, while Charlie won’t be able to win the challenge, he will have a special role. Nekisa’s still stewing over landing in the bottom two once again. Jaclyn – who barely covers up her annoyance, encourages Nekisa to take the criticism and grow from it.

Daniel worries about going back to the house: he knows it’s going to be an Alabama dog fight with Nekisa and Charlie going at it. Sure enough, as soon as they all get back to the house, Charlie and Nekisa start in with one another. Really, it’s the same annoying crap we’ve been hearing from both of them all season. Charlie says Nekisa is an easy target and goes after her about her fake nails and big, er, chest. Like there’s a correlation between those two things and a lack of hairstyling talent.

So, Which of Them Is Going to be Bosley?
The next morning, the stylists all go to the salon, where they find an old fashioned (and by “old fashioned” I mean circa 1978) intercom speaker. Suddenly, Rene Fris’ voice says “Good morning, stylists” a la Charlie. He tells a little story about seven little stylists, in a little take off on the old Charlie’s Angels opening. The stylists all scream. Out comes Jaclyn and they all applaud like they’ve never seen her before. Jaclyn tells them she’s extra excited about this challenge because it’s the Charlie’s Angels challenge. Charlie tells us this is already his favorite challenge and that Kelly (Jaclyn’s character) was his favorite angel.

For this challenge, Jaclyn explains, the stylists will be working in teams of two and each team will have three clients to work with: each one representing one of the original Charlie’s Angels. The goal is to reinvent the signature hairstyles that the angels had on the show. The will be working as a team, but judged as individuals. Because Charlie won the challenge, he will be pairing up the other stylists. There are seven of them, so Charlie will be a roaming stylist, helping out all of the teams. Since he’s not part of a team, he won’t be able to win the challenge.

Charlie pairs up the other stylists this way:
Nekisa and Dee – because Dee likes to control everything and Nekisa doesn’t like to take orders, Charlie is sure this is a match made in Hell
Nicole and Glenn
Paulo and Daniel
Charlie says he thought it would be interesting to put people together who are friends outside the salon, who might not get along as teams.

Hair From Hell
Out come the clients, each holding a picture of one of the original Charlie’s Angels. Rene Fris emerges and gives the stylists the rules: they’ll have two hours to finish all three styles, including cutting and coloring.

As they begin to discuss color, Nekisa tells us she knows Dee is stubborn. Dee hopes they can agree on what “modern” is. Daniel is superduperexcited about the Charlie’s Angels challenge because he lives for big hair. Paulo has already worried about Daniel’s love of big hair, while Daniel is worried that Paulo won’t respect his “classic style.” Glenn takes control of things and gives Nicole tasks to complete. Nicole tells us Glenn has a tendency towards old lady hair and she really doesn’t want anyone to come out looking like Betty White.

Paulo admits to his client that he had a massive crush on Jaclyn Smith….until, that is, he saw Erik Estrada in a CHP uniform and realized he was gay. Daniel says he was worried about the pairing with Paulo, but now he’s happy about it. He then uses the word “vagina” in a sentence. It’s horrifying. Elsewhere, Nekisa talks about the Angels actresses and proclaims Kate Jackson the least sexy of the bunch. Aaaaand, in walks Foreshadowing.

Nicole and Glenn have divided the labor: Nicole is doing the cutting and Glenn the coloring. Charlie is flitting around the salon and helping out everyone. Dee admits she likes having Charlie as their bitch. Charlie tells us that, although Dee and Nekisa probably thought they got along really well, they seemed to fight the entire time. Glenn looks on and says she isn’t impressed with anything Dee and Nekisa did. Also not impressed with Nekisa is Dee, who comes back in and re-cuts Nekisa’s Kate Jackson ‘do.

Jaclyn welcomes the stylists to the hair show. This week’s judges are Kim Vo, Kelly Atterton and, supersecretspecial guest judge Kate Jackson. The stylists all clap and scream like little girls. I think Daniel passed out. Dee is both excited and turned on: Kate was her favorite angel. The groups of angels hit the runway. They start out in the stereotypical Angels with Guns pose and then each takes a turn on the runway. Nothing is terribly different or exciting. Frankly, it looks like a bad costume party….and that’s one nice thing I have to say about that.

The judges start their evaluation with Dee and Nekisa. When Jaclyn asks Kate for her opinion, she draws a blank and admits she was back 30 years ago, when there wasn’t a thought in her head: she never thought she’d see those hairstyles again. Dee explains that she had a strong vision and wanted to collaborate with Nekisa. They tried to create three distinct cuts and colors. Nekisa would do Farrah, Dee would work on Jaclyn and they would both work on Kate. Kim Vo pretty much hates the Farrah and so does Charlie, although I think what he really hates is Nekisa. Jaclyn says none of the styles had any movement. The judges then ask Dee if she stands behind Nekisa’s work on the Farrah ‘do. She says she doesn’t stand behind any of the Farrahs. Meow.

Paulo and Daniel are up next and the judges aren’t any more pleased. Paulo says he was going for soft and demure, combined with flirty and strong. Kim Vo is completely over the Kate ‘do and Kate Atterton says the Farrah style could have been softer. Jaclyn says Paulo’s in the last challenge had lots of movement. She loved the freeness of that style: it was everything the Farrah ‘do wasn’t.

That just leaves Glenn and Nicole. Glenn explains that she is a strong colorist and Nicole is a strong cutter, so they divided the labor along those lines. Kelly Atterton asks Charlie for his opinion. The Jaclyn ‘do is to old, criticizes Charlie. Kim Vo asks to see that style close up and asks about the curls in the hair. Glenn admits she’s responsible. When questioned, Nicole admits she would have made that style more youthful. When questioned about why she didn’t use some of the hair pieces, Glenn admits she ran out of time. Kelly Atterton says the Jaclyn style definitely wouldn’t be anywhere in Allure.

Dodging a Bullet….Again
The only one who’s safe this week is Charlie. Jaclyn sends the stylists out so the judges can deliberate. Jaclyn sums things up for everyone: no one did their best work this time. Kate says that taking those three styles and asking them to update them was a tough challenge. Jaclyn says she wouldn’t wear any of the styles: they were all old-fashioned and caricatures.

There’s a lot of discussion of how very sucky everyone’s work was. The worst of the worst were Nekisa’s Farrah ‘do, Daniel and Paulo’s Farrah and Glenn’s Jaclyn. Jaclyn admits she wouldn’t wear Glenn’s style. Kelly Atterton says Glenn’s Jaclyn style made the client look old and it definitely wasn’t modern: she wouldn’t put any of the styles from this challenge in Allure.

The stylists file back into the salon to learn their fates. The judges were disappointed in all of them, lectures Jaclyn: the judges know the stylists are all talented, but they didn’t see any of that talent today. All the judges saw were caricatures. There was nothing edgy, daring or fresh. That means that there is no winner tonight. Jaclyn then asks Nekisa and Glenn to step forward. They are tonight’s bottom two. Nekisa is aghast as usual. She tells us that her Farrah was better than the others. Since the judges thought everyone sucked, I don’t know that this is a sound foundation for an argument.

In Nekisa’s Farrah, the judges could see a bit of Farrah, but it was dated and uninspired. Glenn’s Jaclyn style was something the real Jaclyn says she wouldn’t have worn then or now. It wasn’t sexy or vibrant. Glenn will be going home tonight, which means that Nekisa will live to annoy another day. This announcement is met with complete silence and jaws dropping…including mine. I guess if Glenn had botched up a Farrah ‘do, she might have had a fighting chance. You’d think that with Jaclyn there in front of her for weeks, she would have done a better job.

Glenn says the show has been a great experience and she loves all them. She then admits she should have tried harder. Jaclyn tells Glenn she’ll miss her. Glenn leaves and Jaclyn cautions the remaining stylists: the judges are serious here and the stylists all need to bring their best work from now on. This is the same speech she gave last time for those keeping score.

Next Week: The stylists will face their toughest challenge yet. Plus, Charlie’s Smack Talk Train rolls on.