The Mole 5 week 5 recap: The Best Ass of a Llama Ever!
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Hello dear readers! Welcome to Moleville for another round of Mole-tective. Last week we saw Craig get sick as they raced up a mountain side to build a city of gold, the journals burned and Mark breakdown and lean dangerously close to the crazy paranoid cliff edge. We said goodbye to perennial Mole favorite Victoria and I became the chief suspect in the FoRT poll (Muhahahahah, my evil decoy plan is working!). Who will receive the executioner’s chop tonight? Only time and the Quiz will tell. Well, I will tell you as well, but not to the end of this recap. I’m tricky that way.
We start the show just after Victoria’s execution and a $152,000 in the pot. The players seem a bit surprised that Victoria is gone and Nicole wonders why everyone she picks as the Mole is executed, yet she is still there. I wonder why she is still there as well as wondering if she will still have her medical license when she is done with the show. I think that compassion plays a role in the Hippocratic Oath somewhere and we haven’t seen much of that from her.
Mission: All For One
They climb into vans and arrive in a desolate area that Host Jon says is the site of an old prison. It is near night and already extremely cold. Ah, yes, time for a Mission. It’s a simple one, really: The players are chained to each other and to a cell wall. In front of them is a cage with a key and an Exemption pass. Every ten minutes the cage door will open and they will have one minute to grab either the key to free themselves or the Exemption and leave the others out in the cold all night. The chain will only allow one player to free themselves at a time, so they will have to decide who will go first. If they are successful and all players free themselves by morning, the pot will gain $25,000. If someone takes the exemption they will not only lose the moohlah, the remaining players will have to spend the rest of the night in the cold. The mission sounds a bit boring, so I am hoping that someone takes the Exemption first off just to inject a bit of excitement into the game. Once a player frees him or herself, they will get to join Host Jon for dinner next to a roaring fire and roasting marshmallows or each other and what not.
Immediately, Craig begins campaigning for his release first. I don’t blame him after his Killer Tomato trials of the day before. He is wearing a long litany of clothing items and he is still cold. Mark of the lost Journal balked at first, but finally relented because Craig had been sick. When the cage opens, Craig, true to his word, takes the key and frees himself walking off towards the warmth. Nicole says if it was up to her she wouldn’t have freed a single soul which makes absolutely no sense unless she is the Mole and wants to prevent money from going into the pot. Which, since she has been so obviously playing to be the Mole, she cannot possibly be the Mole. (No, really, it makes sense, read it again.) Kristen is allowed to reach the cage next and then Paul who convinced the others he would not take the Exemption by swearing on the life of his daughter.
Clay (anyone else wonder why he is the only one to have a sleeping bag?) begins to lobby to have himself freed next, but he is unsure if Mark can be trusted. Mark claims he doesn’t know if he trusts himself and Clay feels his coalition is beginning to unravel. Really? Just now you are coming to that conclusion? Despite his misgivings, Clay frees himself leaving Nicole, Mark and Alex to battle it out. Nicole and Alex beg Mark to let them go and somehow Nicole contrives a gentle pleading look on her face that has Mark believing her and she is the next to free herself. Finally, after just an hour into the mission, Alex has had enough as well and Mark gave in leaving just himself chained up.
Meanwhile, back at the cozy dinner scene, the other players speculate on whether the last two would go through with freeing themselves and adding the money to the pot. They seem really unsure of Mark, but he redeems himself by walking in. He does scare them a bit by saying he has something green in his pocket before whipping some gum onto the table top. They earn their money and the pot grows to $177,000. Jon also gives the players brand new journals, but Mark refuses his.
The next day the players head off to the “Napa Valley of Argentina”, otherwise known as Mendoza. Paul and Clay begin to have a pointless argument with Clay purposely pushing Paul’s buttons. Clay is my new hero. They spat some more and Craig leaves to go in the other van, followed by Clay and Kristen comes to serve her time with Paul. Oh, and there was a flying Lemonhead in the mix as well. After having been a nanny for a long while in my twenties, I have automatically learned to tune out childish behavior. Comes in handy when one watches reality tv programming. I did tune back in just in time to hear their musical contribution: “Paul Free in Van #2”. Nice.
After breakfast, the Molsters split into teams of two. Given designated forms of transportation, each team will have 45 minutes to travel 5 and a half miles into town. Each team that reached the designated statue finish line will garner $10,000 for the pot. Because there are an odd number of players left, one will be the ‘transportation captain’ and will be responsible for assigning the players their modes of transportation. The catch is if the teams do not reach the finish line in 45 minutes, the transportation captain will receive an Exemption.
And just how did Host Jon pick the transportation captain? Why, the person who said ‘exemption’ first at breakfast. And it just so happens to be cuddly fluffy Santa Craig. Will he be naughty or nice? Craig says he is going for the Exemption so I am guessing some coal will be in store for the Molettes. And, I am right. Craig eschews such speedy forms of transportation such as mopeds and bicycles and goes for a more humorous effect. He assigns Alex a conquistador outfit with a donkey that he must lead and pairs him with Mark who must wear a scuba outfit replete with flippers. Clay was given a unicycle and paired with Kristen who will be statuesque on stilts. Finally, in a move that is genius, he assigns Nicole and Paul to be in a llama costume with Paul appropriately as the llama’s ass.
As soon as the Moltestants see the assignments, the grumbling begins. Mark flat out refuses to do it followed quickly by Kristen and Paul. Alex, unwilling to just give up begins to dress in his conquistador outfit. As the group opts out one by one, Alex muses that perhaps this was not well thought out, that there may have been a twist somewhere along the road. Indeed, there may have when we see Craig and Host Jon waiting at the half way point for the others who never showed up. Craig was happy to see they never showed and soon the pair made there way to the finish. The others piled into the vans and drove to the finish line, earning Craig his Exemption. Even though the strike seemed to have been pushed on the others by Mark, Kristen told Jon it was a collective decision.
At the pre-quiz dinner, Craig gets a verbal beating from his fellow Molites for making the task so difficult to complete thereby earning himself an exemption. Hey, it’s not like any of them would have done anything differently at this stage of the game. And the assignments were funny.
1. Is the Mole male or female?
2. From Jon’s perspective, where was the Mole chained from left to right in the All for One mission?
3. When did the Mole grab the key in All for One?
4. Did the Mole get inside a sleeping bag in All for One?
5. What was the Mole wearing for the Travelers mission?
6. What form of transportation was originally assigned to the Mole in Travelers?
7. Who was the Mole paired with in Travelers?
8. Where was the Mole sitting at breakfast before Travelers, in relationship to Jon?
9. Has the Mole had an exemption to date?
10. Who is the Mole?
After the quiz, the Molsters gather for the results. Host Jon informs them that it is again a tie and this time only one second separates the executed from the safe player. Alex then Paul is safe. Kristen, however, meets her fate with the executioners axe.
Well, that is the week, folks. Make sure to read LG’s fantastical Molnalysis for all the latest Moley thoughts.