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Hello all! ... crickets ... anyone out there? In any case, for the 1 or 2 of you watching LCS and actually tuning into the FoRT to read our weekly recaps, this is our last week of domestic auditions. Next week brings us to Miami where we'll see some international flavor. But for now, buckle your seatbelts for the Minneapolis and Nashville audition process.

You know, I love comedians. I love laughing. We really haven't seen too much of either thusfar this season. Even those funny people who got through to the semis get clouded over with TFP...the freak parade.

But I'm holding out hope for our friends in Minneapolis & Nashville. I'm also holding out hope that I win the lottery, but that ain't happening any time soon either.

We start in Minnesota with our talent scouts Kate Flannery and Brian Baumgartner from The Office. Pete Lee, Alex Thomas, Dan Cummins, Doug Mellard, Tim Harmston, Darlene Westgore, John Evans, Tracey Ashley, Dave Landau, and Carl Lee all make it through to the showcase. So far, it's been less TFP and more actual comedy. This makes this recapper very happy.
  • Tim Harmston - community service as Whoopsie, the Inappropriate Touch Education Clown. I hate clowns, but he's bizarrely funny.
  • Dave Landau - exercising, having kids, health insurance. Very smooth delivery and funny
  • Tracey Ashley - her mom's mental illness gives her great material
  • Alex Thomas - disses New Yorkers. Hmpfh. But he seems comfortable on stage, so I'll forgive him.
  • Dan Cummins - wants a "Squirrelador" - a cross between a squirrel and a labrador. He's totally out there, but really made me laugh
  • Carl Lee - Fargo
  • Darlene Westgore - typical single mom jokes and having ADD
  • Doug Mellard - neighbors
  • John Evans - porn
  • Pete Lee - dropping pennies. He's silly, but I like him.

So I have to say it's actually been nice hearing jokes, even if they aren't so funny, because they're being told my people who want to be comedians, not those who want to be the William Hung of LCS or dressed up as fruit flies, but those who are actually working at becoming successful comedians. So we find out who is moving on from Minneapolis. There are only 3 going through, which is unfortunate because Minneapolis has some funny people.

1. Pete Lee
2. John Evans
3. Dan Cummins

We're off to Nashville - our last stop to find American comics. They try to fool us saying it's the last audition stop, but no no. Next week we get to see all sorts of wonderful comedy translated into English.

So Bill Bellamy looks like Cowboy Troy which is fitting with all of the Freak Parade references. We're reunited with Cliff Claven and Norm from Cheers - John Ratzenburger and George Wendt. I suddenly feel like a beer. Dale Jones, (Miss) Mary Mack (all dressed in black - sing it with me), Heath Hyche, Pat Godwin, Killer Beaz, Taylor Mason, Erin Jackson, Drew Thomas, Sabrina Matthews (who I enjoyed on a previous LCS season) and some unnamed comics move on.

We head to the showcase:
  • Drew Thomas - getting married
  • Erin Jackson - being a stripper
  • Taylor Mason - he's a ventriloquist and has a pig puppet. I may be in the minority, but I enjoy him. It's simple humor but it makes me giggle
  • Heath Hyche - Tae Bo apparently causes him to need music to fight
  • Pat Godwin - Irish drinking songs with his guitar
  • Killer Beaz - Mississippi jokes with a twist of redneck
  • Mary Mack - tiny little girl with tiny little girl jokes. Waaaaay out there
  • Keith Alberstadt - his mom loves to drink and forget his name
  • Dale Jones - high strung and does Deliverance: The Musical

Our semifinalists from Nashville are:

1. Heath Hyche
2. Erin Jackson
3. Mary Mack
4. Dale Jones

Only one more dreaded week of auditions until the semifinals being in Vegas. I hope you're still hanging in with me by then!