would rather be cruising!
Last Comic Standing 6/5 Recap: Countdown Clocks Not Necessary
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Comedy is extremely subjective. What some think is funny, others think is crap. I stick by my thoughts thusfar when I say most of what we've seen is pure crap, with a tiny bit of funny sprinkled in.
This week we have a drama countdown clock to the most shocking audition. Are they serious? Our San Francisco celebrity scouts are Josh Gomez from one of my favorite shows, Chuck, and French Stewart who has truly aged quite nicely. We remember French from 3rd Rock from the Sun.
Tonight's auditions give us the typical freak parade as well as a bunch of funny bits. They are only putting 4 people through from San Francisco and this is the first time we really could have put through more than that.
We start with Jason Downs who is fixated on Anne Frank. He moves on. We're reminded by the obnoxious drama countdown that there's only 10 seconds left to the most shocking audition. Shashi Bhatia comes on stage and begins her act. It's not funny. Not one bit. Now I know I said comedy is subjective, but there's no way anyone finds her funny. If they do, I don't care. She immediately starts the smart ass back talk to French and we have a pissing match about sphincters. Lovely. She's finally taken offstage. Whatever. Was that really countdown worthy?
We finally get to some real comedy now.
- We see The Meehan Brothers - a trio of Irish brothers who do some street performance type comedy, including championship bowing. Funny skit. They move on
- Iliza Shlesinger is a dead ringer for Paige from Trading Spaces, only blonde. She does some girlie jokes but I find her confident and funny. They do too. She moves on.
- Next up is Jesse Case. He discusses pro-life license plates. He needs a haircut, but he's funny. He moves on.
- Drennon Davis has a Tiny Tim guitar and sings a song which starts out as a PBS song and turns evil. He moves on, but I'm not sure why.
To torture us and make this show fill 2 hours, they do a top 10 best of the worst auditions. It's not worth recapping, so I'm not. So there.
- We're then treated to Sky & Nancy Collins from Orange County. They're the Biff & Muffy Comedy Duo. They're torturous, but they move on.
- Next up is Joe Klocek. His intro is funny and his stand up is funny too. He moves on, though he seems surprised.
- Candy Churilla, Jonathan Thymius, Jeff Dye, Mike Winfield and some unnamed comics move on.
Showcase time! There's some enjoyable comedy tonight.
- Jesse Case - he got bored so he put on a blue polo shirt, went into a random Best Buy and quit. Funny.
- Sky & Nancy Collins work more country club shtick. Bleh.
- Jonathan Thymius does some weird crap making his foot a puppet choking on water. Huh?
- Whitney Cummings - she apparently farts a lot, except at Yoga class
- Larry "Bubbles" Brown - reminds me of Larry Storch from F-Troop. (google it). He's actually dry & quite funny.
- Jeff Dye is a pretty boy in a neon green shirt. I have a soft spot because he looks just like my nephew. But he proves himself by being a bad-ass in his own mind. He's comfortable on stage and he's quite funny.
- The Meehan Brothers do an ode to the Irish Tanning Heroes.
- Jason Downs - looks like he needs a shower, but discusses cruising around the world for 300 bucks.
- Andy Haynes - he's pissed off at his high maintenance teeth and dentistry in general.
- Joe Klocek explains the "how to order" sign in the deli and a homeless dude punching a pigeon in mid air.
Here's when I interject to tell you that one of the highlights of the show is the Progressive Auto Insurance commercial. I went to high school with the chick who plays the girl who works for Progressive. I'm now only 5 degrees away from Kevin Bacon.
- Iliza Shlesinger (she totally needs a "c" after that first S). Anyway, she's super comfortable on stage. She talks about talking on the phone out of breath. I like her - she's pretty funny.
- Tony DiJamco - plays on the whole "I look like a 15 year old boy". He's entertaining.
JJ WalkerMike E. Winfield has the largest smile in history. Pregnancy tests cost too much (hell yeah, they do!)
- Candy Churilla does a dating bit. **crickets**yawn**
- Drennon Davis - takes a really long time to get from child's song to ending it with screaming "WHORE". Couldn't see him headlining, but what do I know.
So we finally get to see who moves on to the semi finals from San Francisco.
- Drennon Davis (WHAT??)
- Iliza Shlesinger
- The Meehan Brothers
- Jeff Dye
I definitely liked a few others (Joe, Jesse, Larry), so it's a shame more people can't move on.
Time check - halfway through this debacle! Are you with me?
We head up North to Toronto. Our celebrity talents scouts are NewsRadio's Dave Foley and my favorite TV gynecologist (c'mon - we all have one, no?), from Mad About You, Richard Kind.
We start with a freak parade. Dave Foley leads the pack. He looks like he's had some bad plastic surgery and a fight with a makeup lady.
- Winston Spear has a nervous twitch and discusses Canadian geese. For some reason, he moves on.
- Then comes a small montage of people I assume get through to the next round
- Sean Cullen - new baby funnies. Sort of. Moves on.
- Pete Zedlacher - lost weight/gym jokes. Richard Kind says no, but dares him to come back and be funny.
- The Williamson Playboys - a "father/son" musical duo. They somehow move on.
- Darrin Rose and 2 unnamed comics move on.
- Derek Forgie comes back after screaming some really stupid joke-book jokes
We move to the showcase.
- Sean Cullen - English gangster movies - strangely funny
- Sabrina Jalees - her dad apparently screws up the English language at the most inopportune time
- Darrin Rose - third world kids are apparently wearing New England Patriots hats since they were made before the SuperBowl. For that alone, I love this guy.
- Williamson Playboys - awful, unfunny Vaudeville act with a bit of rap. How they even got to this point, I don't know.
- Derek Forgie does some really bad 4th grade jokes but he screams them hoping they sound funnier. They don't.
- Johnny Gardhouse - lies to get the wedding ring and drunken pilots. Entertaining.
- Kate Davis - a Y2K joke. Seriously, Kate. It's 2008. Get with the times.
- Brian Lazanik - sounds constipated
- Winston Spear - discusses dead M&M's. So unfunny
- Chuck Byrn - baby bit.
- Scott Falcounbridge - he creepily wears his shirt over his head. He's sort of a cross between Michael Stipe and a Crash Test Dummy.
- Pete Zedlacher - Glorious Eagles versus lowly Canada Geese
We're nearing the end of these 2 hours taken from us in which we'll never get back.
Only two, TWO, freakin people move on to the semis.
- Winston Spear (What the HELL?)
- Sean Cullen
It's a shame not more than 2 move on. Seems like a lot of time spent on nothing.
Next week is Minneapolis and Nashville with a bonus Norm & Cliff Claven sighting. Should have been in Boston, no?
Remember, You Don't Mess with the Zohan.
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