Big Brother 4/27 Finale Recap: A Baller Has Left the Building
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Well, well, well. It’s FINALLY the night we’ve all been waiting for. Week after week we’ve watched these hamsters put their fingers in their noses, grab their crotches, talk with their mouths full, whine in the most annoying voices possible, and trade BFFs faster than a first grader. Somehow, Adam and Ryan endured 81 days of drama and scheming in the house to find themselves sitting pretty in the Final 2. Who will be voted the
biggest loser winner of Big Brother 9 and receive the $500,000 cash prize? Let’s find out!
After the Chenbot welcomes us to the live show, talks a little bit, and gets the live audience all pumped up, a recap of the entire season begins. Ugh, I hate this part. We started with 16 houseguests, the houseguests got paired into “soulmates”, Sheila bitched a lot, Allison was annoying, the houseguests became single players, everyone became obsessed with James, Natalie had big boobs, Adam picked his nose, Team Christ fell apart, and Ryan and Adam ended up as the last two
tools houseguests standing. Phew! A whole season into one paragraph. Man, I’m good.
Julie Chen, wearing what appears to be my grandmother’s sweater, reminds us once again that the jury of seven will be deciding which guy wins this season’s grand prize. But wait! There’s a
predictable shocking twist! America will get the chance to vote for one of the jury members to receive a $25,000 “special” jury prize. I bet Chelsia will win that. *chuckling to myself*
Hell Hath No Fury Like A
Mother Woman Scorned
The members of the jury house have no idea who the seventh and final jury member is going to be. Natalie doesn’t want to see Adam enter the jury house. Joshua likes Ryan and also comments that he is pretty sure Sheila won’t make the final 2 because she couldn’t get herself out of a wet paper bag. At that very moment, Sheila enters the yard where all the jury members are gathered. They realize that Adam and Ryan are indeed the final 2. Sheila tells them all that Adam screwed her over and that he threw the 3rd part of the HoH. She thinks that Adam knew Sheila would have all of the votes if she made it to the final 2. Riiiiiight. James asks if Ryan really thinks he can beat Adam at the end and Sheila responds that she’d really like to give the money to Ryan at this point. Chelsia and Joshua both think Sheila is bitter.
Matt wants to vote for who won the most competitions and who outsmarted everyone and played the best game overall. He thinks Adam has been playing a smart game. Chelsia thinks Adam took a big risk in throwing competitions. Natalie comments that throwing a competition didn’t work out so well for her. That made me chuckle. Sheila thinks Adam is a bad player because he threw so many competitions. Natalie thinks Ryan was smart and is probably one of the most scandalous players in Big Brother history. Too bad I’ll probably forget who Ryan is in about, oh, a week. Sheila thinks Adam was a little shady because he could never look you in the eye and tell you what he was doing. I would be thankful for that. Would you really want Adam’s bulging eyes gazing into yours? Sheila is pissed that Adam lied to her, but Matt comments that lying is part of the game. Joshua is still gushing about how great of a game player Ryan is. Mattie agrees.
May I Have Your Head On A Platter?
It’s time now for the jury members to ask Ryan and Adam some final questions. Let the grilling begin! Matt asks Adam what he is going to do with the money and he says that he wants to take $100,000 of the prize money and start an after school program for Autistic children. Through the rest of his incoherent rambling, I think I caught that he wants to start a business and help children. Side note: Why in the world is the area around his eyes so red? Matt then asks Ryan what he is going to do with the money and he says he wants to do something you know nice for you know his mom (aww), do something nice for you know Jen and himself (ick), and then you know give some of the you know money to charity. Joshua thinks Ryan gave the worst answer ever. Sharon asks Ryan why he fed her so much bull and then got Adam to vote her out. He claims he never wanted her out of the house and that he fought for her all week but his gut told him to keep Sheila. He really stammered through that one. Chelsia, in a crazy screaming rage, shouts at Ryan that she doesn’t know why she should give him the money so he can spend it on Jen, the hateful bitch. He says he still loves Jen and he isn’t a racist person.
It’s Joshuah’s turn, and his first question is directed at Adam. He says that Adam appears to have thrown competitions and let Ryan do his dirty work, and asks why the jury should vote for Adam over Ryan when Ryan was more competitive. Adam responds that the game is mental, physical, emotional, and well-rounded. He says that he didn’t throw the last competition and he played hard, head on head, mano y mano. He claims the game isn’t all competition. Joshuah remarks that screaming at the screen isn’t going to help him get his point across. Aww, Adam does tend to get a little loud when he gets excited but Joshuah is also a pompous ass. James asks Adam why he should get the money over Ryan and why he thinks he belongs in the Final 2 over Sheila. Adam rambles on and on, basically saying he was a straight shooter. Natalie asks Adam why he didn’t take her with him to the Final 3. He claims he had to respect the wishes of the HoH. Natalie asks Ryan why he promised her Final 2 and why she should give him the money. He apologizes, says “you know” a million times, and says it was a really hard decision for him. Big Sheil is up, and asks Adam why he looked her in the eyes and lied to her when he said he would take her to the end with him. She then whines that he didn’t carry her, she helped carry him, blah blah blah. Adam starts speaking very quickly, his face gets really red, and ultimately he doesn’t really give her a straight answer.
In a last ditch effort to sway some votes, Ryan tells the jury that he has never said anything bad about others to further himself in the game, he’s played hard, and he’s been a stand up guy throughout the entire process. Adam feels that he has built good personal relationships and has played a well-balanced game. The jury talks amongst themselves again and Joshuah says that Adam is cocky and he can’t stand him. Back in the house, Adam claims the jury grilling was rough. He claims that Josh and Sheila were psychopaths.
Julie Chen returns and announces all of the jury members one by one: Matt, Chelsia, Joshuah, James, Natalie, Sharon, and Sheila. They come out to the stage and give some high fives along the way. Julie checks in with Ryan and Adam and congratulates them one more time. She asks Adam to give one word on how he felt after the jury questioning and he answers “rough”. She asks Ryan the same thing and he responds with “nervewracking”.
The final vote has arrived and Julie explains to the jury that they will insert a key into the box for the person they would like to see win Big Brother 9. They may give one final statement about why they are voting how they are voting. Matt is first. He simply says that one of them is taking him to Vegas when everything is over. Natalie is going with her gut instinct. Joshuah is going to vote for the person who played hard in every competition and had a backbone. Sharon is voting for who she thinks is the most loyal. Sheila says that it is an easy decision for her and loyalty and trust had something to do with her vote. James hopes they party away the money. The audience cheers. Chelsia hopes the person she votes for holds true to what he said at the roundtable. The votes are in!
They Are Only a Distant Memory
Hey, remember those six houseguests that got kicked off a long time ago? Yeah, I really don’t either. Well, I do remember Alex because he was smoking hot, but I digress. Like it or not, they are back for finale night as well. Parker, Amanda, Alex, Allison, Jacob, and Jen take the stage. They have seen the entire season, so maybe they will have some juicy tidbits for the jury members.
Julie asks Natalie where her loyalties really fell in the game, and she said that although she was playing all sides, she would have been loyal to Adam and Ryan until the end. Julie asks Matt if he wants to confess anything to Natalie before she goes home and sees the tapes and he says he apologizes in advance for anything she will see. She says she has already heard some things. Man, that girl is going to be in for a huge shock when she sees what a dog Mattie really is. Julie plays a tape for Ryan that shows Adam really did tell Natalie he voted for her. She then plays a tape showing Joshuah’s fake crying scene and how he fooled Adam.
Back to the non-jury members. Julie asks Jen what her thoughts are on Allison after seeing the show. Jen says she still doesn’t care for Allison. Allison claims that she has no hard feelings toward Jen and she thinks Jen and Ryan have a great relationship.
And The Winner Is…
Before revealing the final vote, Julie informs the jury that America has been voting for their favorite jury member and that person will win $25,000 dollars. FINALLY, it’s the moment we’ve all been waiting for. Who is going to win Big Brother 9? Let’s find out!
Matt votes for Adam
Natalie votes for Adam
Joshuah votes for Ryan
Sharon votes for Adam
Sheila votes for Adam
Chelsia votes for Adam
James votes for Adam
Final Vote: Adam 6, Ryan 1
The winner of Big Brother 9 is Baller! Should I be excited? Wooo? In other matters, America voted for our favorite juror. The second place finisher is Sheila and the winner is: James! I can live with that.
Well faithful Big Brother readers, all
terrible things must come to an end.. Thanks to everyone for visiting the FORT and participating in everything Big Brother! Also, a huge shout out to my hamsters in crime: MsFroggy, lildago, and waywyrd. We will see you back here in July when the summer edition of Big Brother is supposed to begin. And CBS, if you are reading, please don’t ever have a winter BB again!!!
Thanks for a great season!
Last edited by AshleyPSU; 04-28-2008 at 11:49 PM.
Wake up and be awesome
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