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Ahoy Mateys! This week we begin in the elimination room as HostAli informs the remaining losers that they are a global phenomenon and they are heading to Australia. Everyone is psyched - especially on NBC's dime! Bob and Jillian are already there waiting for them and HostAli will meet them there. I'm guessing she flies first class.

Ali has decided to make an alliance with the Brothers Beantown and work with them and Kelly to get Roger out. Everyone is packing and Mark packs little baggies of 100 calorie snacks for everyone to avoid airplane food. Nice guy. I would have made them eat airplane food. This IS a game, you know.

Surprisingly, the flight doesn't seem long at all and we're transported right into Sydney! We see Bob and Jillian who are participating in the Biggest Loser:Australia. Apparently they haven't had to deal with all the "let's mix up our reality show" garbage and have Biggest Loser:Couples. We learn that Australia is the 2nd highest overweight continent in the world behind the United States. They must have some work to do.

HostAli tells Bob and Jillian that someone was eliminated. Bob said it was torture knowing someone has gone home and won't be Down Under. Both he and Jillian hated missing the "day after the elimination" drama.

Bob was majorly bummed that Dan wasn't there. I, however, am not at all. HostAli reminds everyone that Ali won the last 2 out of 3 weigh ins, to which Jillian glares at HostAli and says "thanks for the big fat target on Ali's back" or something like that.

We begin our visit in Australia with a traditional Aboriginal smoking ceremony in which they light palms and the smoke is to envelope the body and rids itself of what it doesn't need. Hell, Weight Watchers should sell that at their meetings. Breathe deeply and take in the energy. Or the wacky weed. You be the judge.

The Biggest Loser:Australia house is actually the White House and Laura and the girls come to greet them. Noooo, but it is called the white house and is quite magnificent, complete with a Jacuzzi, chandeliers and basketball and tennis courts. However, the losers immediately hit the gym hard realizing they have a weigh in to focus upon.

Ali's concerned not about winning, but about not having skinny arms. They looks skinny to me, but I think she still has the fat mirror in her retinas. Kelly complains about being the underdog, but says she's actually used to it.

They decide to hit the town and Ali dresses up and looks FAB but she's still concerned about those damn arms. The guys realize how hot Ali is. Bob & Jillian decide to take them to their favorite restaurant and then dancing. I felt for a brief moment I was watching a show on MTV seeing the club and all, but then I saw Jay trying to move and realized what I was watching. They had a great time together, just having fun and letting it all out. They did all look super confident.

Bob & Jillian also thought while they were in Australia to take them to a local market where they can get inexpensive fresh fruits, vegetables and meats. They guys decide on octopus and lobster. Mark sticks his hand in the lobster tank. I hope he gets eaten, but he doesn't.

Jillian tells Kelly she MUST try oyster to which Kelly says "I don't care if you're God, I'm not trying it". Jillian says that she happens to be related, so she's trying it. They basically do an oyster shot. Kelly was like a 4 year old taking tylenol. She gagged. I gagged.

So some hot looking Aussie dude comes a knocking on the door. Kelly looks perplexed. It's Adro, the winner of the first Biggest Loser:Australia. He says he just wants to take them out and show them the sights. The first sight he shows them are his "before" pictures. Wow - he's a much better "after". He told the story of Bob's torture when he was forced to jump out of a 60+ meter tree. He was changing "the new me" over and over and realized he was on his way to becoming a new Adro. I, myself, enjoy the new Adro almost as much as I enjoy the old bob. Yummmm. Eye candy with no calories. Adro then reminds them the finale really isn't the end for them - it's the beginning of a new life. HostAli had given Adro a little slip of paper with her number on it with their challenge information. They are to meet ATOP the Sydney Harbor Bridge at 8:00 the next morning. Mark begins crapping himself already, as he's lived his life with a fear of bridges. He mentions he closes his eyes every time he's on one. Let's hope he's not driving!

Stupid trainer tips this week, so I'm skipping them. If you don't like it, YOU write the recap.

So the Sydney Harbor Bridge is 440 feet. Mark is petrified, Jay is nervous but excited and Roger is stoked - he was hoping they were going to bungee. Basically, there's a large pathway up the bridge, all the way to the top. HostAli was already at the top. Today's challenge winner will receive a seaplane ride over the harbor and brunch at a beautiful resort - you can pick one person to join you.

The challenge itself is this: You start out in a jet boat in the harbor. You then jump out of the boat and swim 300 meters in open water. Once you reach shore, you run upstairs to a bicycle. You then ride on a path to the Botanical Gardens. You then race on foot about 1/2 mile and run 44 flights of stairs to the top of a building. Whew, I'm tired.

At the starting position, Jay still has his man boobs. Seriously, they haven't shrunk at all. Ick. They all start off and Ali immediately jumps in the lead, as she's a strong swimmer. She finishes the water portion first and heads for the footrace to the bikes. She and Mark basically leave the bikes together, but Mark does pull ahead, Jeff Gordon style. This ultimately becomes a competition between Ali and Mark, as Jay, Kelly and Roger hold the 3rd, 4th and 5th place respectively for almost the whole competition. Mark does get to the building first and begins the agonizing climb up the stairs. Ali's a warrior and is on his tail, but Mark is to floor 44 first. However, he doesn't cross the finish line and waits for Ali and they cross the line together. Actually, Ali carries Mark piggyback (to which HostAli later refers to it as "on her shoulders". I don't think so HostAli). Jay was 3rd, Roger passed Kelly so he was 4th and Kelly was struggling on floor 42, so the rest of the losers went to her and helped her cross the finish line. It really was a true display of teamwork. HostAli informs Mark and Ali that they will both get a call home as well.

Mark & Ali head to the seaplane and thoroughly enjoy the sights. They head to brunch at a beautiful resort. They discuss strategy a bit and Ali wonders if she can continue staying above the yellow line. Mark calls his wife and surprise, surprise, begins crying. Even she tells him to snap out of it and toughen up. Smart girl. Ali calls home and speaks to both Bette-Sue and her grandma who is really who she wanted to call, since Grams is from Australia.

We head to last chance workout. Bob decides his will be yoga. It's calm and serene, but the guys are sweating their tails off and getting a great workout. On the opposite side of the spectrum, Jillian is screaming at Kelly and Ali. She wants a female biggest loser and apparently let all of Australia know with her bellowing. Then we quietly flash to Bob and yoga. Then yelling. Then yoga. Then yelling. Quite a scene.

We head to weigh in. Ali's worried because she's not feeling well between the flight and the food and the different workout structure. They are all worried because everything is different this week...even the scale. I'm worried because the wind is howling, the rain is coming down and my Tivo sometimes doesn't like the wind.

Jay started at 293/ last week 201/ this week 202 (+1) -0.50%
Ali started at 234/ last week 149/ this week 146 (-3) 2.01%
Roger started at 363/ last week 236/ this week 234 (-2) 0.85%
Kelly started at 271/ last week 192/ this week 191 (-1) 0.52%
Mark started at 285/ last week 181/ this week ** 182 (+1) -0.55%

**insert dramatic pause as my Tivo starts to sputter so I see him standing on the scale happy and the next thing you hear is crying. I have to figure out he's gained a pound.

Mark and Jay are both below the yellow line with Ali winning the week again.

The blubberfest begins and the Beantown Brothers cry their way through it. Jay basically decides that Mark sacrificed for the team once and shouldn't have to do it again, so he should go home this time. I think Jay just handed Mark $250,000.

Ali votes Jay
Roger votes Jay (and cries)

Jay's not the biggest loser. He's lost a total of 100 pounds.

The losers find out the trainers aren't returning to the states with them. Gasp! One more weigh in until the live finale and America gets to vote one person into the final 3 and only 4 more hours I have to recap!