Yoffy lifts a finger...
Survivor: Standing In The Shadows: A collaboration - Week 6
The next reward challenge and immunity challenge are going to be really important to us since our tribe is down a player. I think we made the right decision in getting rid of Jeanne. One of ladies had to go, and she would have been the most difficult to control. When Christy asked about our decision, I told the group that Jeanne’s strengths were redundant in the tribe, and then I stroked the ladies’ egos, only furthering the strength of my position. I’m not sure, but I think Heidi wants my body.
During the reward challenge I had to face Matthew on the log. I thought I had a pretty good chance, but I just couldn’t hold on long enough. Fortunately the majority of the match-ups went our way, and we won some much needed food. The immunity challenge went our way too, but not before Heidi took the opportunity to shove her tongue in my mouth. I guess she just couldn’t hold back her feelings anymore. She apologized profusely, but it was pretty obvious that was only for the cameras. I wish that dorky kid, Rob, could have seen it. He probably would have died of jealousy right on the spot.
Wow! When we got back to camp after tribal council, we all had a talk around the fire, and I started a conversation about why Jeanne was voted out. The guys told me that they thought that Heidi and I had better qualities, and they would rather be with us at the merge. I was really, really happy to know that they saw something in me that deserved to stick around. I really like these guys, they've treated me with so much more respect than the Jaburu women ever did. Even Heidi is getting better!
At the reward challenge, I was thrilled that I got to face off with Jenna on the logs, and I beat her BOTH times! Plus, we won the challenge! Fruit has never tasted so good. When we got back to camp, Butch really touched me when he said that my attitude and actions the last few days had been a defining moment for him. I've been trying so hard to be accepted in this game, and I finally truly feel it. The immunity challenge-whoa. We had to BITE off pieces of meat from this HUGE slab and spit it into a basket. I was a little worried, but we came through. I'm so glad we don't have to go to tribal council!!
I realize now that my master stroke of selling out Jeanne last tribal council may be backfiring on me. For some odd reason these men are finding Christy to be a valuable tribe mate, maybe even more valuable than I. I am not sure how that could be, as I am much better looking than she is.
Oh sure, I lost both times on the spinning log, but those fat women don’t have to deal with the balance challenges I face everyday. I think at this point I just need to make it through to the merge and get back together with my trusted friends Jenna and Shawna… there is no way the men would boot any of the good looking women… right?
Boy, would I like to see the kids' faces back at school now! How stunned they must be to watch the old man take down not one but two whipper-snappers in the rolling log competition. Rob was an easy mark. The kid's desperately out of shape. I have to admit I was a little concerned when I knocked Mateo off the log. I thought he might land awkwardly and splinter into a pile of brittle bones.
I was also vital to our Immunity Challenge victory. What other man would pull a piece of beef out of Roger's open mouth? Nobody, I tell you. The kids must be so proud.
And the magic of the Believe banner is starting to spread, just as I knew it would. When my young protege Christy took out Jenna twice in the log Challenge, I could almost hear the slogan whispering itself in the breeze. If you believe in the Believe, I believe you can believe anything. Believe me.
Our tribe kicked major butt this week. I wasn't sure how the last three days were going to go, because they started off with Roger giving some bogus reason to the women for why we voted Jeane/Gene/Jean/Jeanne out of the tribe. As you know I'm all about integrity, so that didn't sit well with me.
In the Reward Challenge, I had to face Alex on the rolling log. I'm sure that everyone thought the Triathelete was going to have no trouble against the Rocket Scientist. But I proved that knowing a few things about coefficients of mass, velocity, and gravity will win out over being able to run, swim, and ride a bike every time. Of course, watching log rolling on the ESPN Outdoor games didn't hurt, either.
After that, I decided to take a page from Butch's Survivor Handbook; I believed in myself and kept my mouth shut - except when it was full of beef during our victory at the IC.
Being on this new tribe is like having new life in the game. Let me count the ways…
1) I’m away from Roger, Butch, and Dave. Those guys never liked me, but these ladies are like a breath of fresh air.
2) For the first time in 16 days, I had a chance to brush my teeth. God, it was amazing. I could have eaten that whole tube of toothpaste.
3) Having a clean mouth made me so much more appealing to my new tribemate, pillow and future wife, Shawna. I could hardly keep her hands off me.
4) Rob approached me with a great strategy that we can ride all the way to the end game. Up until now, I think he has just been too intimidated by me to say anything.
I got a chance to take down Roger in the reward challenge and it felt great. I pounded my chest for Shawna upon my victory, and you should have seen her glow with pride. Since we lost the immunity challenge, I had to vote her off though. It broke my heart, but I had to do it. Alex was starting to make advances towards her and it was making her uncomfortable, and besides, it was either her or me. Everybody knows that couples make a target, so they had to separate us. Wait for me, my darling. I’ll be sending you that chauffeur driven limousine in no time.
I was pretty concerned after the tribal reallignment last week, as I was leaving my position of power at the all woman tribe to become the far oldest person in a tribe of kids. That didn't work out so well for Hunter. Time to blend in and act like one of the gang instead of the leader. Things were just starting to gel in our new co-ed tribe, and Shawna was pretty much distracting all three guys. Shawna's clearly more interested in being a boy toy than sticking with the women, so Jenna and I can't count on her vote. We'll need a guy's vote. Rob just got shot down by both Shawna and Jenna.
He's embarrassed. He's sexually frustrated. He's our man.
I'll swoop in and tell him we need to break up the love fest, of course making him think it's his idea. We lost both challenges, yikes, and need to send someone packing. Jenna told me she can't stand another day at camp with Shawna having three guys compete for her fake dates, and I'm having a hard time keeping down my huge fish dinner listening to all that crap, so Shawna it is. Let's make Rob think it's his idea. I hope this isn't a mistake of "John Carroll cutting Gabe" proportions, by booting a disloyal original tribe member rather than going after someone from the other original tribe. We shall see. I'm still in the game.
Everything is going great over at Jabaru. Homey, really.. thanks to the nurturing touch of Shawna. She's so great, it's just like a family camping trip in the Amazon. And you should have seen Wifey kick butt in the reward challenge. Oh sure, Heidi was at a disadvantage because she is a bit top heavy, but I was so proud of my girl Shawna! I paired up with Dave and it was pretty even until I decided to throw the contest so I could rush back to the little woman. No one really cared about the reward challenge anyway... we're living on love at Jabaru and everyone's a fan of love!
The immunity challenge was a bit different though and meant we'd have to let someone go out of the love nest. I knew it would be Matt, (he was getting a little too close for comfort to Wifey there) but it was still sad to lose a friend. Wait... they sent Shawna home? How dare those bastards! Mike Boogie warned they would try to send my girlfriend home!
What in the world of Aphrodite is going on? Rob, Matthew, and Alex were all fawning over Shawna. I felt like gagging when those three clowns had that stupid "Make Believe Date with Shawna" . She's cute and all, but there is no way she's hotter than I am. I'm a swimsuit model, for crying out loud!
I'm so glad I got to sit out the IC. Watching those guys go after that piece of meat like crazed piranahas was grossing me out. Oh my god! Heidi had to take a piece of meat off of an old man's mouth. Ewwwwww! Just thinking about it makes me want to hurl. It was a close contest, but my team lost in the end.
I don't want to vote for Shawna because she's one of the original Cuties. But to tell you the truth, she's raining in on my parade, and I can't have that. Hmm..if Shawna were to go, the guys will have no other option but to adore ME! Ba-Bye Shawna!
Oh thank God, the girls have a communal toothbrush. All I had to do was rinse it in the river water and I got to brush my teeth. I really don't know what's wrong with these chicks... none of them will make out with me even though I have clean teeth!
Being the master playa that I am I have decided the best way to win this game is to team up with Shawna... no luck she's hot for Alex. Fine I'll take Hot Chick number two, Jenna... hmmm, no interest either. Weird... Well, Deena it is! We decided the best thing to do was rid the camp of Alex should we lose Immunity. I went to work on Matt. What an idiot he is. While fishing I played him like a Marlin. I pulled, I slacked, I reeled and the big dumb lummox... errr... Marlin, is now on board. I AM the Puppet Master!
The reward challenge was so lame. Who thinks of this crap? I was against Butch and he won, purely by luck. We lost, but no biggie. Off to Immunity...Yummmmm, BEEF! It's what's for dinner! WHAT? We don't even get to eat it, just bite it off and spit it onto a scale? Cruel! Again we lost, I just hope my tribe mates don't realize I swallow, I mean chewed and swallowed All that work to get people to vote for Alex... then we have an actual meeting were we discuss what we're doing... how STUPID! I bet Shawna is wishing she'd made out with me now.
I SO could have saved her... see ya cutie.
What can I say? The last few days have been a blast. I finally got my groove back. I got to roll Heidi in the mud and chew on some kind of animal carcass. It felt like a weird combination of Lumberjack Bowl and Fear Factor. Neither of the challenges went our way though. But hey, at least I got to take a bath with a swimsuit model. Woohoo! That Rob is an absolute riot. Heck, he even got Deena to crack a smile once. I nearly fainted. Alex is a great guy too. I can really see us being good friends after the show. And I gotta say he was a much better pillow than that shelter ever was. Sadly, it was our turn for Tribal Council this time around. We had a little pow-wow and I had to put myself on the block. I always vote for the weakest player and unfortunately, that's been me. It would just be wrong to send somebody else packing. Oh well, off to join the others now. I was scared of the snakes and jaguars before, but now I've gotta face Dan and Ryan. I hope Jeanne and JoAnna brought their machetes.
With thanks to - Paulie, Wayner, Bill, Cali, Kylie, John, lurkinggirl, Wolf,Zhora, Miss Filangi, BravoFan,Jodaar, firegirl, Ilikai.
SEO by vBSEO 3.6.0 ©2011, Crawlability, Inc.