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Beauty & The Geek 3 Recap (1/24) – The Beauty Is The Beast

Well, I’m starting to sound like a broken record! (For those of you who are too young to know what a broken record even is let alone what it sounds like, a record is the old, vinyl disc that we used to listen to music on back in the day, and when they were scratched or broken, the same line would repeat over and over…but enough of the technology history lesson.) I’ve said it before, and I’m going to keep saying it until Cecille is gone from the show…the queen of the blondes this season sucks! She is ruining this season for me. This show is not about forming High School-like cliques and fulfilling stereotypes, it’s about the exact opposite…breaking down stereotypes and fostering inclusion of everyone, no matter what random group they may belong to. Cecille, and to some extent Megan, is not even trying to help the geeks or learn how to be a better person herself. Instead, they are perpetuating the stereotype of the bitchy, non-inclusive, dumb blonde. And I hate that.

Back From The Brink

Last week Nate and Cecille eliminated Matt and Andrea from the game. Who knew Cecille would get both of her questions right while Andrea would get neither of hers? So Nate and Cecille returned to the rest of the couples upstairs, and were greeted enthusiastically. Jennylee was truly happy that her crush, Nate, was still in the game for her to flirt with, and Niels was also happy that his good friend Nate was still around. Still, Niels was not happy that Cecille was still around. That bitch is ruthless! Even Niels can see that she is the queen of some sort of high school clique, and this isn’t “High School Reunion.” Almost immediately, Cecille started to spout her venom. She can’t wait to give some payback to the team that put her up for elimination. It’s funny to me, because what did the blondes expect? Andrea was the last brunette, and in the end this is a game…two teams must go up for elimination. Either way, a blonde was going to have to put up another blonde…it’s how it works.

It’s Always Sunny In San Diego

The next morning, everyone’s favorite, nameless host got to explain each groups tasks for the next week…with a twist. Mike told them all that they have been working hard for awhile now, so they all are going to get to have some fun in the sun in beautiful San Diego!! Megan was very excited, since she was so stressed out from so much learning, thinking, and actually having to use her brain for once. Unbelievable! I think she likely used her last brain cell to come up with the word “learning.” San Diego’s not going to be all fun and games, though, since the producers are going to be sending the beauties and the geeks to the beach with some homework assignments. For the beauties, they are going to have to study up on radio waves, currents, and circuits—electronics for those of you that aren’t using a computer right this minute (bad um bum). Megan wants to tell us what her favorite electronic is, but she can’t say it on a broadcast network. The editors were kind enough to give us an aural hint…a sound bite of your cell phone when it’s on vibrate and it rings…and I’m not talking about a cell phone. For the geeks, they are going to learn about fitness and exercise. Each geek will have to come up with a short fitness routine and lead a group through the routine on the beach. Drew is not sure what to make of this task, since the last time he worked out was when Bill Clinton was the President, and Star Trek was cool. Based on the second part of that exclamation, I would think he has never worked out, since I have always watched Star Trek, and I don’t remember it ever being considered “cool.”

As the group arrived, the sun broke out of the clouds and they knew it was going to be a great trip to the beach. Their hotel overlooked the ocean, and also looked like it was really close to the beach. After everyone settled into their rooms, the couples all took turns down in the hotel’s fitness room so each beauty could give their geek some pointers on what to include in their quick fitness routine. Nate basically goofed around with the weights and made jokes about people thinking he is California’s governor. Yeah, doubt it. Megan really helped Scooter out in an effort to actually win a challenge. Apparently fitness is the one thing she actually knows something about, well, besides posing naked for Playboy. Obviously Mario rarely works out. He just acted like a little kid down in the fitness room, bouncing the giant fitness ball like an 8 year old with ADD. He kept going back to bouncing the ball, much to Nadia’s dismay. Niels and Jennylee both realize that they will need to win one of the challenges that day, or else they were going up on the block. These two are really at odds with each other, and they are really going to have to learn to work together in order to stay in the game.

A Beauty Of A Boat Ride

At the end of the day, the teams were all rewarded with a surprise sunset cruise on San Diego Bay. Everyone was happy to just relax and have fun for once. Cecille and Megan did what they do best—that is, drink and be blonde. Scooter and Nate did some weird martial arts re-enactment on the bow of the boat. Others just danced and sang…obviously fueled by alcohol. Erin, who probably had a little too much to drink, got extra adventurous…by dancing sexily on the bow of the boat in her high heels. Yes, imitating what she has seen numerous times in music videos (Tawny Kitaen, anyone??), Erin pranced around the bow of the boat, hung from a pole with her heels locked into the railing, and just generally made all the guys nervous that she was going to fall flat on her face or into the water. No, she wasn’t drunk!

Erin wasn’t the only beauty that was drinking too much…Cecille set her lips loose after she went overboard on the booze. It started to become really apparent that Cecille was none too happy that she and Nate were put up for possible elimination in the last round. Since she was so spurned by Niels, she drunkenly attacked him with her mouth, telling him he was scared of her, and that she would put his team up in an instant. Later, back at the hotel, Cecille’s ranting continued. She blabbed on to Jennylee about how nobody respects someone who cries at nominations, and what a brat Niels is. She even called him a piece of junk, and berated the fact that he lives and goes to school in Berkley. After her verbal bashing, pretty much every remaining contestant did a confessional telling us how they all don’t trust Cecille, and think she’s a witch for her unrelenting attacks on Niels. Even her buddy Megan strained her brain to call Cecille “manipulative.” Whatever. Cecille is a bitch. I hope she doesn’t win, because she is the least deserving beauty left.

Body By Geek

It is the next morning, and it’s time for the challenges to start. First up, the geeks get to lead a group in a fitness routine down on the beach. Is it a random group of people on the beach? Hell no! It’s the beauties!! Each geek will lead all 5 beauties through their 10 minute routine, and they will be judged by two fitness experts. They will be judged on originality and effectiveness of the workout. First up, Drew. He lead the girls in what looked like a pretty fun routine, if not a goofy one. He did basic moves such as jumping jacks and marching in place while he sang “When The Saints Go Marching.” Next up was Scooter, and he warmed the girls up with some jumping jacks, and then led them in some squats. He told them all to get in the ballet 3rd position…which led Megan to ask in confessional “Is Scooter gay?” Mario led the fitness group next with his routine “If I can do it, anyone can.” Niels went next, and his ideal workout is one in which you throw up afterwards. Yeah, try marketing that one. He had the girls jogging in a circle, and then asked them to do a bear crawl, at which everyone looked at him as if he was insane. Finally, Nate came out in colorful 70’s stretch pants and shorts, and led the girls in his “Geekercise,” but mostly he just talked for 10 minutes. In the end, the girls had an hour workout, and the judges decided that Scooter had the best routine.

Beauties “Stranded”…With Metal Detectors

After their workouts, it was the beauties turn for a challenge, and Mike gave them their instructions. First, the geeks were sent across the harbor to another shore, and the beauties were “stranded” on the other beach. Luckily for them, they were each given a metal detector, with which they had to find metal boxes buried in the sand. Most of the boxes contained the parts for a walkie talkie. The beauties needed to find a talkie, radio their partner for a code to a lock, use the code to unlock a kayak, and kayak across the harbor to their geek. First girl across the harbor wins. Now, none of the girls was happy with the fact that they would have to do more physical work after having just worked out, but when Mike yelled “Go!”, they all started scurrying around the beach looking for boxes. Megan found the first box, but it was empty. Erin was just as lucky, as was Jennylee. Megan finally found a box with walkie talkie parts, and put it together. But she just didn’t seem to know how to work the radio. Instead of releasing the button after she talked, she kept holding onto the button, so Scooter couldn’t talk back to her to give her a code. Soon Cecille found a walkie, and was successful in putting it together. She called Nate, got her code, and had her kayak unlocked pretty quickly, all the with Nadia hot on her tail. Cecille’s lead was too big, though, since she was in the water first, and didn’t seem to have any trouble paddling. Cecille won the challenge, and Jennylee knew her and Niels would be up for elimination.

Vacation’s Over…Elimination Isn’t

Back at the mansion a day later, Niels and Jennylee were hitting the books really hard since they knew that Cecille would put them up for elimination out of spite. You see, Cecille likes Jennylee, but it’s Niels she wants out of the house. Everyone knows it. Unfortunately for her partner, Nate, that means he and Jennylee won’t get to flirt with each other anymore…if they don’t win the elimination round. Once the staircase ceremony begins, the only question is who will Scooter and Megan choose to go against Niels and Jennylee? Actually, there is one other question…why are Cecille and Megan wearing the exact same dress, but with different colors? Where’s the fashion police when you need them? Anyway, Scooter answers the first question quickly…he chooses Erin and Drew to face off against Niels and Jennylee in the elimination round.

When the elimination round starts, the women are up first as always. Erin picks first, and she is asked who makes the Xbox 360? She has no clue, and answers “Sony”, when she should have said Microsoft. Jennylee’s first question is “What is the method of communication created in the mid 1830’s that uses dots and dashes to represent letters and numbers?” She answers “Morse Code”, and is correct. Erin’s second question asks her to identify what “LCD” stands for in relation to screens and monitors. She struggles, and everyone upstairs thinks she should know the answer, but she can’t come up with the correct answer of “Liquid Crystal Display.” Finally, Jennylee can give Niels a commanding lead if she answers correctly. Her question...”Spell antenna.” What? This is a spelling bee? Whatever. She claims to be the worst speller ever, but she rips out the correct spelling, and gives Niels a 2-0 lead.

For the geeks, Drew goes first, and he must get his question correct in order to stay in the game. He is asked “What is the name of the 1977 bodybuilding movie that featured Arnold Schwarzenegger?” He thought for a second before answering “Let’s Pump Iron.” It’s the wrong answer…but close. The movie is actually “Pumping Iron.” Niels and Jennylee win!

After hugging it out with their opponents, Drew and Erin were asked to leave the mansion. Drew is happy for his experience, and believes he is an entirely new man after the show. He used to have no fashion sense, and even less sense about women, and now he thinks he has the looks and the talk to pull off dates with confidence. Erin thinks she hit the jackpot just by being on the show. She is going to miss Drew a lot, and feels like he taught her a lot. Even though he is a new man, Drew closes the show by spouting some Trekker speak…he is going to put his life into Warp 8, and basically “Engage!”

Next week: Will Nate make his move on Jennylee? And of course, a twist that Nadia doesn’t understand.

I’m totally Warp 8ing it to the Death Star to score me some stellar love! mrdobolina@fansofrealitytv.com