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Beauty & The Geek 3 Recap (1/10/07) – Blondes Have More Fun
Welcome to another episode from the third season of Beauty & The Geek! So far, this is the most interesting season to me because the geeks are all super geeky, and more of the beauties seem scholastically challenged. Yeah, I mean they’re dumb. Not all of them, mind you, but there are a couple who aren’t going to learn anything and likely won’t be able to teach they guys anything socially either. We’ll see…hopefully the good ones don’t get eliminated before their time.
After the first elimination competition, Drew and Erin beam themselves upstairs to cheers and applause for their one-sided victory over Sanjay and Tori. Erin beams at the fact that she did so well, so maybe she’s not a bubbly blonde airhead after all. She must have thought her name was Cecille for a second. Drew is beaming because he and Erin proved they are a strong team…and everyone got to watch. Scooter…well, he’s beaming for a completely different reason. Scooter got to play a lot of games of chess that night before retiring to his room where Cecille and Megan “attacked” him. The two biggest stereotypical blonds in television history threw Scooter, uber-geek that he is, onto the bed and wrestled with him and teased him with their feminine wiles. Is it just me, or does Cecille need to find some clothes that cover her a little better. She was wearing shorts and a blouse during this entire incident, but the blurry blob guy still had to work overtime to make the footage airable on network TV! Well, Scooter was just overwhelmed by all of the female attention. He was nervous and scared because he was actually in bed with women and getting sweaty!! He made excuses for not being a willing participant, telling Cecille that he was extra shy because of the cameras. So Cecille took matters into her own hands, and attempted to hang a towel over the camera in order to teach Scoots a little bit about the birds and the bees. Since she’s stereotypically not smart, she tried to make herself taller by standing on some stacked boxes, but it totally backfired on her. She tumbled hard and crashed to the ground, rousing everyone else in the mansion to discover Cecille crumpled on the floor, and Scooter shaking like a leaf.
Beauty Appreciation Day?
How many times have I said I never knew or remembered the host’s name? Count ‘em…it goes way back to when I began recapping this show. I’m not the only one!! Yeah, Megan’s likely the the biggest airhead to ever appear on Beauty & The Geek, but even she refers to Mike simply as “The host,” as in “After the host announced what the challenge would be…” That’s right, she can’t even remember the guys name, and she didn’t even sleep with him! Anyway, Mike (I think that’s his name) gathered the teams down in the living room to tell them all about their next challenges. For the beauties, they are going to have to learn about aeronautics—the study of flight and space travel—and they are all none too happy about it. Erin can’t even remember exactly what the subject is, calling it “astronomics,” and Nadia is upset that they are going to have to learn about things on Star Trek. And then there’s Megan…who doesn’t know anything about airplanes, but is a member of the mile high club! Fascinating! You’d think she’d do really well in studying air and space, since there is so much of it in between her ears.
As for the guys, they are going to have to learn how to appreciate women. How a geek can learn how to do that in one day is beyond me. It took me years of practice before I even began to understand how exactly to appreciate a woman. Well, other than my mom…I always appreciated her! Anyway, the groups grab their study material and get to it…mostly. The geeks get to studying, and Nate even summarizes what he thinks are the important points of his partner’s study materials, hoping that she might do the same for him. Uh-uh. Instead, Cecille joins Megan and they put on their bikinis and go sit by the pool. Nate even catches Cecille napping in the pool, with his study materials on her belly. I guess it’s just as good as her actually reading it.
As the day wears on, the geeks all decided to try and learn appreciation for women by doing something to show the beauties that they appreciate them. What better way to show them that than to cook dinner for everyone. That is, if they can figure out how to get a charcoal grill going. Don’t any of these geeks know that you have to give the coals time to heat up? Eventually they figured it out and served their beauties dinner on the patio. Then, each geek took a little time to toast their teammate. Nice things were said all around, even if the beauties didn’t understand what was being said.
Uh, Heh Heh, Huh…She’s Naked!
The next day it’s time for the geeks to show off their woman appreciatin’ skills. Mike gathers the boys in the living room, where there are easels with art paper set up on them for each geek. A few of the geeks are giddy already, since they took art classes previously, and have pretty good drawing and painting skills. Mike explains to them that they will have 20 minutes to draw the subject that is put in front of them. As soon as he leaves, a beautiful woman comes into the room dressed in a robe. Now, all of the geeks are thinking she’s got a bikini on under the robe, and she is going to model for them with it on. As soon as she drops her robe, all of the geeks’ mouths drop too. She is stark naked, and for most of these dweebs, it is the first time they have seen a real live naked woman. They all stared at her huge breasts so intently that I’m surprised she didn’t use the old “My eyes are up here” line on them. Eventually, they all picked their jaws up and started drawing, even while their model, Sophia, started chatting to make the boys more comfortable. She went on and on, and Drew even asked her to shut her mouth after a little while. Mario was the only geek who thought about the fact that words were coming out of her mouth, and actually stopped to listen to her. The task is to appreciate women, guys! Listen to her…that’s the lesson! That’s what I was screaming at my TV, anyway. After 20 minutes were up, Sophia grabbed her robe and made space so Mike could determine the winner of the challenge. Most of the drawings were very rudimentary, but Piao’s was just plain rude. He drew a giant breast as the center of the universe, and had little stick figures representing the geeks orbiting around it, as if it were the only reason for them being there. Luckily for him, Mike told them all that it’s not really about their art skills, but about their listening skills, and they are now going to be tested on who heard what Sophia was saying. Anyone care to guess who’s going to win this challenge? Yep, Mario was the only one that was listening, and he was able to answer two questions correctly about her monologue to eliminate all of the other non-listeners and win the challenge.
There is a real cliquish feeling around the mansion this season. Not with the geeks…geeks are typically an “All for one, and one for all” type of group. No, it’s the beauties, and even the geeks see what’s happening. The 4 blondes (Cecille, Megan, Erin, and Jennylee), and sometimes Nadia are forming a group, and the brunettes (Sheree and Andrea) are in another. I can kind of understand the groupings, too. Andrea and Sheree really seem like the two smartest women in the group, while Cecille, Megan, Erin, and Jennylee are truly vacuous and dumb. Nadia is her own person, but still, she was a cheerleader all through high school, and likely craves to be a part of the “in” crowd, so she sticks with the blondes. Sheree points out that one of the main reason all of the girls are there is to show the geeks how to be their own person and overlook the superficiality of everyday life, but still that type of stuff is happening in the mansion. Either way, Sheree and Andrea know they will have to win in order to stay out of the elimination room, and that’s why they are studying so hard.
That brings us to the beauties’ challenge. Mike gathers all of the teams at the California Science Center Air and Space Museum. Megan has no clue when the last time was that she was in a museum…kindergarten maybe? Let’s just say it was when her hair was it’s original, dark color and not that terrible fake blond that it is today, shall we? The beauties are all going to have to give a museum tour to an actual group of museum visitors and the museum curator, who will be tagging along. This should be good! Most of the girls struggle through the tour, with the highlights mostly belonging to Cecille who told the group that a famous airplane was actually a helicopter that was used to fly soldiers from bomb sites to the hospitals in the TV show M*A*S*H*, and that a glider is called a glider because it glides. I guess Jennylee had some catastrophes too, since she told her group that the original Wright brothers’ glider was an supersonic fighter jet, and she thought a space capsule was a satellite, but whatever…these blondes are doing nothing toward proving stereotypes wrong. The strong performers were Sheree, Andrea, and Nadia, all who gave great and informative tours with only a few minor mistakes. In the end, the museum curator thought Nadia gave the best tour, and her and Mario are the only team with immunity from the next elimination and will be picking the two teams that could be eliminated.
Pick A Side
Back at the mansion, Nadia got bombarded with advice on who her and Mario should pick to go to the elimination round. The gaggle of blondes wants to control the way Mario and Nadia pick the eliminations, but Mario thinks it is Cecille and Megan who actually deserve to go home, since they aren’t really trying and aren’t benefiting from the experience in the mansion. However, Nadia is friends with all of the blonde girls, and she is really confused. Soon enough, all of the teams gather on the stairs for the official announcement by Mario and Nadia. Mario goes first, says all of the obligatory “This is the hardest part” statements, and picks Sheree and Piao. Next, Nadia breaks down a little, can’t even look the stairs group in the eyes, but eventually picks Andrea and Matt. She has chosen her alliance…and it’s the blond girls.
These Beauties Already Have Brains
It’s elimination time again, but this is a little more difficult this year. There are so many beauties who aren’t really on the show for the experience, but for the exposure. Megan and Cecille are just so…precocious and silly…so airheaded…so UGH! Their geeks seem like great guys, but these girls just don’t belong here. It’s not high school, but that’s what it seems like when they are on the screen. Alas, these two will probably end up in the finals.
On the other hand, the two girls whose teams are up for elimination tonight—Andrea and Sheree—while sometimes bitchy, are actually smart and are trying to help their teammates overcome their social anxieties when dealing with women. At one point during the elimination round Andrea even remarks that they are the two best women in the mansion, much to the other girls’ dismay. As always, the women answer questions first, and Sheree picks a number. Her question: What was the name of the airplane that Charles Lindbergh flew solo over the Atlantic? She answers correctly with “The Spirit of St. Louis.” Andrea’s question is what does NASA stand for? She also answers correctly with “National Aeronautics and Space Administration. Sheree’s second question asks her to identify which state NASA’s Johnson Space Center is in. She again answers correctly with no hesitation “Texas.” Andrea’s final question is “Who was the second man to set foot on the moon?” Keeping with her assertion that she and Sheree are the two best, Andrea also answers quickly and correctly with “Buzz Aldrin.” The girls are tied 2-2.
Next it’s the geeks’ turn. Are they as good as their respective beauties? Piao chooses first, and his question is “Applying a base coat and a top coat are part of what spa treatment?” Piao struggles with the question, and can only come up with the wrong answer of a facial. Matt chooses a number and is asked what Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie named their baby girl. He thinks for a minute and answers “Shiloh.” He is correct! There is still a chance for Piao, and he chooses his next question. He must answer correctly. His question is “A clutch and a hobo are what type of accessory for a woman?” He reaches down and pulls the correct answer of “a purse” out of his pocket. Now, if Matt gets his question correct he and Andrea will advance out of the elimination round and send Sheree and Piao home. His question: “Michael Kors is a hairstylist, fashion designer, interior designer, or composer?” Matt again thinks for a second and answers “Fashion designer.” He’s right! Matt and Andrea will live on to fight for brunettes everywhere!
As they say farewell to their friends in the mansion and viewers everywhere, Piao and Sheree show their true feelings for each other. I thought they argued a lot on the show, but Piao and Sheree’s final remarks resemble those of “The Bickerson’s” of Saturday Night Live fame. While they both respect each other, Sheree feels Piao really needs to learn how to listen to women and trust what they are telling him. She thinks he will be a great tax accountant someday, and they are friends. As they fade to black, they are still bickering with each other. At least when they are old and married they’ll have experience with how to bicker.
Be sure to tune in next week for the annual geek makeover episode. Nate wants a mullet, and Niels wants some shiny white alligator shoes. This ought to be good!
Brunettes rule! firstname.lastname@example.org