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Previously on The Biggest Loser, Kim pushed the Red Team to its limits…..not that those limits were very high. Also tested last week: my patience every time Heather opened her big yapper. The Red Team prevailed last week, partly due to Kim’s new strategy of getting all smurfy with her team. That one had to hurt Bob. Unfortunately for the Blue Team, they had to go through yet another elimination ceremony. This time, Melinda got the boot. On the bright side, thus far in the competition, the teams have lost 496 pounds.
This week, the teams get another lesson in how to work out without a gym and the wardrobe department stoops to new lows.
You know, the honeymoon phase just isn’t wearing off with me and Bob….or at least with me. I still get giddy every time Bob runs up that hill in the opening credits. He shouldn’t ever wear a shirt.
It’s the morning after the elimination and the teams are up early for a session in the gym. The trainers have other plans. Plans involving a large padlock: the gym is closed. Once again, they’re going to have to figure out how to exercise without the gym. Kai reveals herself to be the anti-tree hugger, which makes the whole Alaska thing make lots of sense, it being the Land of a Billion Trees (<----if that’s not on the state flag, it should be). Bobby, not to be deterred by a little “Closed” sign and a locked door, actually tries to climb in the window of the gym. Before he can commit a B & E, Bob and Kim show up and usher the teams back to the house. Kim tells us that the routine of the gym was becoming too monotonous, so she and Bob wanted to mix things up a bit.
While the Red Team is inside doing calisthenics on the stairs, the Blue Team is outside running. Bob urges Amy on, telling her that she will need to work even harder now since she’s the only woman left on the Blue Team. Amy tells us that the is pushing herself harder than ever before. So yeah, it seems that the trainers can inflict pain regardless of the setting. Isn’t that comforting?
We’re at week five and you can really see changes in the contestants. We see lots of before and after shots to prove how far they’ve all come so far. Pam is elated that she can now fit into a large t-shirt. It’s her first “non X thing.”
The Blue Team is still working out and Bob is concerned that Erik is still holding something back. He says that Erik needs to turn his brain off. Erik tells us that the sheer amount of weight he needs to lose is overwhelming. Bob encourages Erik: he’s already lost over 40 pounds and he can do this. Erik jogs along and we see shots of him when he first arrived at the ranch, weighing over 400 pounds and huffing and puffing while running the same route. Bob joins Erik in the run, urging him onward to the finish. Erik still claims to be discouraged about being the biggest one left in the competition
Biggest Loser at Home Update
This week, we’re catching up with Linda from Idaho. At 54, Linda is a little older than the average contestant. Still, she’s plugging along and losing weight: she started the show at 214 lbs and is now down to 167 lbs. Linda tells us that she wants to prove that being older doesn’t have to be an obstacle to getting healthy.
Comer el pollo en el mundo verdadero (send all complaints to Babel Fish Translator if that says something dirty)
In our blatant product placement of the week segment is a visit to El Pollo Loco. Hurray! I will now have to drive the 10 miles to the nearest one. Thanks a lot, Bob. The trainers extol the virtues of the restaurant my father calls “Poco Lollo,” encouraging their teams to make smart choices. This is a good way for them to practice eating in the real world.
Now that they’re all stuffed full of chicken, it’s time for another challenge! The teams – Bob and Kim in tow – meet Caroline at the L.A. Coliseum. Someone remarks on how big the coliseum really is. Having been lost there during a concert, I can attest to that. Of course, I did have a lot of baked goods that day, so maybe I was on a sugar high (Hi Mom! *waves*).
Caroline greets everyone wearing a green horror from the Oscar the Grouch Salutes the Sixties Collection® Because they’ve been away from home for about 2 months, the teams get a little surprise in the form of videos from home. We see clips of Bobby’s daughter and wife rocking out, Erik’s little girls (who are the cutest things ever), Pam’s husband and kids and Brian’s wife and a few of their little ones. You know, I’ll bet Brian could lose at least 4 pounds if he just shaved off that Grizzly Adams beard of his.
Like, Totally Retro, Dude
This week’s challenge comes to us courtesy of sports fans everywhere, who Caroline claims perform the Wave to show their enthusiasm. Yeah, in the 80s. Check your calendar, dear.
The teams will be doing the Wave a lot and all the way around the Coliseum, which, as we’ve already established, is huge. Each player will have to do the wave a total of 510 times until the circle the entire stadium once. The reward for the winners will be $2,500 in Starter performance gear. Since they’ve all lost so much weight, one of the girls reasons, their old workout clothes at home probably don’t fit any more.
This will be a tough challenge, so Bob and Kim will be there to cheer on their teams. As usual, our trainers run to the teams. Bob wins that little foot race (yay!). Just as the challenge is about to begin, the Red Team is very confident and I think Foreshadowing is now an executive producer on this show.
The challenge begins and the teams – trainers in tow – run up into the stadium and select a row. They begin “Wave-ing” and in no time, Erik is sounding like a dirty phone call. The trainers cheer their teams on just like they do in the gym. Dirty Erik keeps focusing on how far they have to go, but everyone tells him to knock it off and keep going. The Red Team looks like they’re going to pull out another challenge win until Ken starts to fade. The Blue Team continues on, using the slow and steady approach. The Red Team is using the slow and, well, really slow approach. In fact, they’ve actually stopped. Ken claims that his back hurts and he can’t go any further.
With the Red Team stalled out, the Blue Team continues plowing along. The Red Team decides to finish the race without Ken. The Blue Team finally wins a challenge: the run out onto the field and cross the finish line as Bob jumps up and down with glee. It’s sort of sweet how excited he is. The four members of the Red Team cross the finish line as Ken stands to the side looking embarrassed. He tells us that his team needs to get over it: he did his best.
The next day, it’s time for some more product pimping. This time, the teams meet Devin Alexander, the author of The Biggest Loser Cookbook. She’s here to help sales of the book by showing the contestants how to make various low-fat and, therefore less satisfying, versions of their favorite food. They whip out some low-fat pizzas and what she calls “almost fast food burgers,” which probably almost have some flavor.
With that bit of business over, it’s time for the last chance workout. Because the gym is still closed, the teams still have to get creative with their workouts. Bob has the Blue Team inside moving furniture in and out of rooms. Kim leads the Red Team through a routine using elastic bands. They whine (as they do), and the Blue Team continues to shuffle sofas around.
For tonight’s weigh-in, Caroline is sporting a tan jacket over a tight, hot pink top with black polka dots and lace trim. Jesus. What’s next? A turban and a muumuu? Maybe her ensemble will frighten the fat away.
Kai: 223 (5lbs / 39 lbs total)
Ken: 301 (6 lbs / 57 lbs total)
Pam: 218 (3 lbs / 29 lbs total)
Heather: 193 (3 lbs / 30 lbs total)
Wylie: 255 (9 lbs / 52 lbs total)
Red Team totals: pounds lost: 26 / percentage of weight lost: 2.14%
Caroline informs the Blue Team that they will need to lose more than 30 pounds to win this weigh-in. Their results:
Bobby: 273 (4 lbs / 48 lbs total)
Marty: 308 (7 lbs / 57 lbs total)
Brian: 255 (6 lbs / 53 lbs total)
Amy: 219 (4 lbs / 41 lbs total)
Erik: 351 (7 lbs / 56 lbs total)
With that, the Blue Team’s weight lost this week totals 28 pounds and the Red Team wins a- freaking-gain. The shrews of the Red Team cheer. Marty tells us that this loss was a “tough bullet to bite,” which I guess means it was hard to take. Once again, Brian was the biggest loser on the Blue Team, so he is safe from elimination.
You Don’t Have to Go Home, But You Can’t Stay Here
Once again, Bob gets the bad news that his team has lost another weigh-in. There’s no time to console Bob: the Blue Team’s got to start talkin’ strategy. Bobby and Amy disagree about who they should eliminate: Bobby wants Marty, who he thinks is the biggest threat, while Amy thinks Erik should go. The Blue Team spends a bit of time making their pleas to stay.
It’s now time for the elimination ceremony and I’m convinced that the only person who should be eliminated is the Caroline’s wardrobe consultant. She is dressed a little more sedately this evening, which is to say that while it’s still putrid, the colors are slightly less garish than normal.
Marty sheepishly says that he loves the person he is voting for: his vote is strictly about numbers and this person has lost the least weight: Amy gets one vote.
Amy claims that the Blue Team lost the weigh-in because of the weight loss percentage. Next week, they need to do whatever they have to do to stay out of the elimination room. She votes for Erik.
Erik votes for a person who is young and has learned a lot at the ranch. He reasons that this person will be able to go home and continue on the same path. A very shocked Amy gets a second vote.
Bobby knows that the person he is voting for doesn’t deserve to go home, but the game has started and he has to figure out what’s best for him. He says that he made a last-minute change in his vote. Amy claims to be totally blindsided.
The final nail in Amy’s coffin comes courtesy of Brian, who says that this is about the game now.
Amy tells Caroline that she didn’t see this coming and says that voting her out makes no sense. Her percentage of weight loss is higher than any of the guys in the Blue Team. He tells them that they made the wrong decision and hopes they don’t end up regretting it. After Amy leaves, Caroline calls b.s. on the guys’ reasons for voting Amy out. Brian weakly defends their position, but I think Caroline won had them dead to rights.
So how’s Amy doing now? In a follow-up video, we learn that she has lost a total of 88 pounds and she looks incredible. Since leaving the ranch, Amy has competed in two triathlons and is running and kayaking. She’s gone from a size 22 to a size 10 and we see her shopping for cute clothes with her girlfriends. With only 12 pounds to lose before she reaches her original goal weight, Amy is definitely another success story.
Next week: The teams face a high-flying challenge and drop huge numbers at the weigh-in. In two weeks, those at home contestants may be returning to the ranch.