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Thread: Bachelor 10/9 Recap: Nice Girls’ May Finish First but Drunk Girls’ Always Finish Last

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    Bachelor 10/9 Recap: Nice Girls’ May Finish First but Drunk Girls’ Always Finish Last

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    Welcome everyone. Last week we kicked off a new season of the Bachelor and witnessed 27 desperate women vie for the heart of an unknown Prince. 15 women were sent home in coach class seats while the rest of the women were left to try and impress their prince. If you missed last weeks show make sure to check out Roseskid’s hilarious recap here. Tonight we get to see more intimate dates and the chance to find out which of the women are psychos and if any of them are here really for Lorenzo. Tonight, Lorenzo will then be challenged with eliminating 3 girls, potentially getting rid of a future ex wife. Let’s pull out our finest bottle of champagne and get drunk watch the romance begin.

    Seriously? There Is No Maid Service?
    The show starts and Chris greets the women and gathers them to inform them what is going to happen the next couple of days. The women will participate in two group dates and one lucky/unlucky individual will get an individual date. On each date a rose will be available, the woman who receives the rose will be safe at the elimination. Since Lisa received the first rose from Lorenzo she will also receive the first individual date. She is so excited and the other women look as if they want to scratch her eyes out. Chris then tells them that individual date boxes will arrive with details of their dates.

    The first date box is sitting on the table and Erica jumps up to retrieve it. She is stilling wearing a crown on her head, obviously living in a world of delusion. Ellen reads the first message and it says that Erica, Jamie, Ellen, Sadie and Agnese will go on the first date. They will have a tour of the city with Lorenzo. I am a little disappointed that Lorenzo is there guide. I have spent some time in Rome and I had a guide named Rudy that I am sure they would enjoy more than the faux prince, Lorenzo.

    The first group of women are excited about their date except for poor Agnese who seems to be completely clueless about what is happening. She does not speak very much English and seems completely confused about a group date. She tells us that living with American women is very difficult because the American girls are crazy. I want to send her an email and tell her that not all American women are crazy, just the ones that go on reality TV shows looking for love. My Italian is not good so I guess I will just hope that she reads this recap to receive that bit of information.

    Once the date box excitement dies down the women are released into their new digs to terrorize each other for the best bedrooms possible. Everyone seems happy with their new living quarters except for the spoiled heiress, Erica. She is completely distraught about living in a huge mansion. She pulls Chris aside to voice her concerns. First off she does not want to live in a room with other women. This concern I can agree with. Sharing a room can be invasive but she is also living in a mansion for free so she really can’t complain that much. Her second concern is that the room is so small. Her room at home is at least 10 times bigger. Now I know she is lying. They showed her home bedroom and it was not that large. Her last complaint is that she does not see any maid service. Personally, I am shocked and appalled that this show would fly women for free to live in a mansion in Rome and make them live without maid service. In fact, I will send Mike Fleiss an email on her behalf for this blatant slap in the face.

    Chris is looking at her like he is going to crack up any second but manages to keep it together and confirms there are no maids. He was so much nicer than I would have been. She then tells Chris she will have to hire one of the ladies to be her maid. I am sure they will all line up for that duty. This is the most delusional woman I have seen in a long time. You have to understand, I have been watching Flavor of Love. There are women on there that fancy themselves in love with Flavor Flav. I know and understand delusion.

    A Faux Prince and Some F’n Bitches
    It’s group date time and Lorenzo arrives to pick the first group of women up. He tells them that being a prince did not prepare him for dating 5 women. Why would it? Is all I can muster to scream at the television. I don’t know about anybody else but this prince crap is really rubbing me the wrong way. I did a little research on our prince and found very little to no information confirming that he is Italian royalty. I have a very Italian last name and a nice company in the US offered me the chance to have Italian royalty for a small sum. I think our prince may have fallen victim to a royalty scam.

    The women and alleged prince board the bus for the fun day of sightseeing in Rome. Their first stop is the Coliseum. Standing out front of the Coliseum are locals dressed in gladiator costumes. The women all run to get their pictures taken with the gladiators. The first time I was in Rome I also made the mistake of getting my photo taken with a gladiator. After the photo was taken he wanted to charge me 10,000 liras for it. That was about the equivalent to $20. My friends and I were having no part of that and walked away. The gladiator rounded up his friends and we were called some very unfriendly Italian names as well as some we understood in English such as “f’n bitches.” The lesson here is never have your picture taken with gladiators unless you are willing to pay. These women are allowed free pictures and I am slightly annoyed they were not called “f’n bitches” as well.

    Lorenzo pulls Agnese aside to have a little conversation with her after the gladiator excitement. He attempts to talk to her and she tells him that she wants to teach him Italian. He tells her he wants her to say, “You are a handsome man and I am in love with you.” She says something back to him in Italian and I suspect it’s along the lines of “you are a major losah!” She then says something else to him and it involves the word kiss, which he does understand. He gives her a peck on the cheek. He seems to be into her but he also recognizes that language is going to be a barrier with the two of them.

    After they are done at the Coliseum he takes them on mopeds through the streets of Rome. I really hope Mike Fleiss has taken out extra insurance on these women because this is possibly the most dangerous activity in Rome. Driving is crazy in Rome but the people on mopeds are just downright insane when they drive. Erica claims to have an expired license and she rides on the back of Lorenzo’s moped. As they are riding she starts telling him about her dating life. She confesses to being in love at 16 and losing her virginity. He seems to not care and almost be a little uncomfortable.

    After the moped ride they all arrive at a luxury apartment where there are racks of beautiful dresses. Lorenzo tells the ladies that they can each choose a dress to wear tonight and then keep. He is going to go and change his clothes and then meet them on the roof for a cocktail party.

    Pissing Off A Prince
    Back at the house the 2nd date box arrive. It’s for Lisa and announces that her and Lorenzo will be going on a picnic in the park. Lisa is ecstatic and walks around the house bragging to anyone that will listen. She then goes on to tell some of the women she has a huge advantage because she gets the first individual date. They seem super thrilled to hear that announcement. If I were Lisa I would sleep with one eye open from some of the looks those ladies were giving her.

    The cocktail party has started and the rose is sitting out on a pedestal driving the women insane. Sadie pulls Lorenzo aside and talks about tattoos with him. He seems to be faking his interest really well with her. Erica comes over and pulls Lorenzo aside for a talk. The women get very jealous that he has been pulled from the party to spend time with Erica. Frankly, Erica was smart getting him alone. She can ruin her chances of getting a rose quicker and its just a shame the other ladies don’t recognize that.

    Lorenzo asks Erica how she is getting along with everyone. She tells him that Jamie is not really a good match for him. He asks why. She tells him that she only has a high school diploma. I wait for the lightning to shoot from the sky and kill Jamie on the spot for such lowly education. Nothing happens and Erica also seems shocked by that. Lorenzo tells her that it’s not a big deal to him. He wants someone with a good heart. Erica seems stunned by this news. She then tells him that she prejudges people. He tells her he never judges people. She once again is stunned by his answer. I wonder why the hell she told him that. Their conversation ends and she is sad that he does not judge people and she does. If it makes her feel any better I am judging her right now and her poor decisions.

    After Lorenzo leaves Erica, Sadie pulls him aside for some private time. He wants to know why she is still single. Being a single gal myself, I personally find this the worst question to be asked. Like she is going to tell him I judge people and don’t like people with only a high school diploma. Wait, someone did tell him that. She tells him that she has had serious boyfriends but has not found the right one. She wants to know about him. She asks him if he is looking to get married or in a serious relationship. He does not answer her question but tells her that he likes the sanity of their conversation. After they are done talking he gives her the rose. She is happy and the others are not.

    Meanwhile, Erica is still upset about her conversation with Lorenzo. She is so distraught that he does not want a true princess, which is her. She has been raised to be a princess and he does not seem to care. When I was little I thought I was a princess and now surprisingly no one seems to care either. I feel Erica’s pain!

    Shaming the Name Lisa
    Lisa is back at the house getting ready for her date with the Prince. Lisa is 25 and she wants to be engaged in one year, married in two and having kids in five years. My name is Lisa also, and I think someone has been reading my journal. I am a little off track in that I am single and 29. I really don’t know how I am functioning in everyday life knowing my future I had planned for myself is off track. She is really stressing me out with her timeline that she has for herself. She is hoping to get the rose right away so they can have a nice relaxing date. I am hoping for a million dollars to drop in my lap right now and like the other Lisa, we both keep dreaming.

    Lorenzo picks Lisa up and takes her to Villa Borghese Park. The park is named after his family and for some reason he seems to think he owns it now. They take a leisurely stroll through the park and talk. He invites her to sit for a picnic. Lisa comments that she has watched many seasons of the Bachelor and knows that the process works. I don’t really understand what she means here. The process works in making people meet and then break up? She also feels that the whole process fits her dating timeline.

    Lorenzo tells her he wants to know more about her. She tells him that she has only had 2 long-term relationships. He tells her that he feels people sometimes get married because they feel they have to be by the age 30. Uh oh. Lisa decides to wait on telling him about her timeline. I think she should tell him about it right now so he can cut her on the spot and I can see her dreams shatter. I’m feeling kind of mean tonight. Lisa decides she will wait a few dates before she lays her love plan out for him. She really wants a rose tonight.

    Back at the house the women are sitting around chatting eating fruit and chocolate. The women start talking about losing their virginity. Sadie instantly gets nervous but tells the group she is waiting till she is married. The 3rd date box arrives and Jennifer, Sarah, Kim, Desiree, and Gina will all be spending a day of fun on the Mediterranean with Lorenzo.

    Lorenzo and Lisa have moved indoors somewhere and are sitting down to a nice dinner. Lisa asks Lorenzo what some of his hobbies are. He tells her that he likes to fly planes. She tells him she wants to go with him sometime. After they finish dinner they take a walk through the park. He gives her a rose because she seems to like him for him and not for his family. I think she likes her timeline and he seems to work into it…for now.

    Getting Drunk in the Sun

    Lorenzo gets ready for his third and final date before elimination. He boards a helicopter to go pick up the ladies. He makes a comment about never having flown in a helicopter but owning his own army. I really think someone needs to sit down and have a chat with him about his “so-called” royalty status. I would love to be that person but I fear it would end up with him in tears and me laughing my head off.

    At the villa the ladies are all waiting outside when they see two helicopters fly overhead. None of them believe they are for them until they land in the villa’s backyard. All the ladies board and they are off to the Mediterranean coast. They land at a private villa on the beach where they will spend the rest of the day. The ladies strip down into their bikini’s and Lorenzo takes his shirt off and his pasty white skin temporarily blinds me. The ladies all think he is hot with his shirt off, I am still having a hard time moving past the army comments.

    The women and Lorenzo decide to play tackle football on the beach. It’s the blonde’s versus the brunette’s. Lorenzo I think is quarterback for both teams. The women are all tackling each other and Lorenzo every chance they get. The last time I played football on the beach I got tackled by one of my friends and I have a scar on my leg from it. I hope those women are being careful. Granted, when I played it was boys versus the girls and we got completely annihilated. Lorenzo is enjoying all the women tackling each other and thinks he is in heaven.

    After the football game is done Jennifer sits next to Lorenzo for a little chat. She asks if he played football in high school. He tells her that he did. She tells him that she was a cheerleader and then goes into a cheerleading jump. He is impressed and I am embarrassed that she just did that on national television.

    Desiree grabs him next for a talk and tells him about her love of sex, all the time. He seems a little taken aback by her comments but then gets into it. They go for a frolic in the ocean and maybe more but the camera leaves them alone. Back at the beach the rest of the women are enjoying the free alcohol that is provided. Kim is especially getting into it. She gets so drunk she goes to do a camera interview and can barely sit up straight. She keeps talking about wanting to throw up or pass out. Eventually she passes out on her beach chair and I hope her family is watching the show.

    Lorenzo joins the rest of the ladies on the beach and grabs the rose. He offers it to Jennifer who happily accepts it. The other women are of course jealous and I don’t understand why at this point. Oh yeah, they get to live in imaginary land as faux princesses. Kim is still passed out and Lorenzo goes to wake her up. She slowly starts to come to and mumbles a lot of nonsense. She keeps going on until she realizes she is saying all this to Lorenzo. She tells him she thought he was the waiter. I anxiously pray that she pukes in his lap but nothing disgusting happens and I remember this is no Flavor of Love.

    Taking a Tumble in the Royal Sheets
    The dates are over and all that is left is time for the women to get drunk and embarrass themselves or stay sober and still embarrass themselves. Lorenzo sits down with Agnese to try and communicate with her. He thinks she is gorgeous but definitely recognizes the language barrier between them. She tells him she is trying to speak better English for him. If I were her I would tell him he needs to start speaking better Italian for me. Since the Italian and English are not working between them she tries a little French in the form of a kiss. It is very awkward looking but he seems to enjoy it.

    Kim is next to grab the prince and she tells him that she feels horrible about passing out on the date. He thinks it was a little weird but for some reason she is not embarrassed at all about the situation. She keeps claiming to be tired and that is why she “fell asleep.” I think someone needs to give the woman a Breathalyzer. I am sure she could blow a 2.0 on it…right now.

    Lisa wants the prince to herself so she takes him outside. As they are walking outside she stops and tells Ellen and some of the other ladies to stop talking about her. The rest of the women are mad that she is dominating all his time since she already has a rose and had an individual date with him.

    Meanwhile, Desiree and Jamie decided to wander about the house. They find Lorenzo’s room and decide to have a little look around. Desiree starts rolling in his sheets because she wants to. Lorenzo comes in and busts them. He climbs in bed with the two women and you can almost see his eyes roll to the back of his head. He then claims his friends at home would be so jealous. My guess is because he is actually pulling off this fake prince crap and these silly women are buying it.

    While Lorenzo is upstairs having the time of his life the rest of the women are downstairs getting very catty. Ellen confronts Lisa on what she said to her when she walked by. Lisa tries to deny saying anything. She may be a tree hugger but she is bad liar. Lisa storms out crying after the confrontation. I guess it sucks when you are called out for being an idiot.

    The rest of the women wander upstairs looking for the prince to find him in bed with Desiree and Jamie. All the women join them in the room and start to have this really bad dance party. I have not seen such bad dancing since New Years Eve this past year when people were so drunk they were falling down stairs. As everyone is dancing and having a grand time, Kim is on the bed “resting her eyes.” Chris enters the room and tells Lorenzo it’s time for him to make his decision. The women get scared and Erica wants the prince because he is not a commoner and he needs her. She is almost starting to sound a little stalkerish.

    Stumbling Out the Door

    It’s elimination time and Lorenzo needs to send three ladies packing. He wishes he could date all the women but alas this is the Bachelor: Rome not the Bachelor: Polygamy Style. Roses have already been given to Lisa, Sadie and Jennifer. Jeanette is the first called up by Lorenzo. She eagerly accepts her rose. Desiree is next, followed by Jamie, Gina, Agnese, and Erica. That leaves out Kim, Ellen, and Sarah. All of whom I have no idea who they are.

    The final three say their goodbyes. Kim is shocked that she is out and asks for a case of wine to go. Sarah and Ellen are not ready to leave. Sometimes if you love something and let it go it will come back to you. In this case, I don’t think that will happen.

    Next Week
    Tune in next week to see more romantic Italian dates, a group date to Tuscany, and someone receives a 2 million dollar necklace…or not. Also, one bachlorette (Erica) loses her mind. If you miss everything make sure to read Roseskid’s recap.

    If a man in a gladiator costume was not very nice to you, email me at Yardgnome77@fansofrealitytv.co m.
    Last edited by Yardgnome; 10-10-2006 at 05:16 PM.

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