Well, as happens at times, both Brian and I had our real lives get in the way of our television viewing. I know… It’s ridiculous. Because of this fact the last few episodes will be crappily recapped. No big change really though is it? Hard to make a great recap of a crappy show. It has been done, on this very board, but it won’t be done here.
The celebrities are almost all whining about one thing or another. They wanted a ton of things that they felt they needed in order to survive. They are full of crap, and I’d really like to see them “survive” the jungle with no outside help. This show has turned into an exceptional look at the lives of the pampered. Even Tyson who informs us that he grew up in the streets (yeah, yeah, he’s been stabbed and shot at) quickly adjusted to his life of luxury and is having a hard time at camp. Maybe if the snakes got together for a drive-by Tyson would be better prepared to handle the stress.
Over the past few days we’ve seen three “stars” leave.
It’s Day 7 in camp and the celebrities are finally starting to break. Robin puts the word into everyone’s head that if the producers don’t make life easier by tonight, they’ll walk out – yeah right!
Why did they have to show Bruce holding up his underwear with a long “skid-mark” in it? That’s not right! They joke about it. We realize it’s been scorched by the fire… well, Bruce tells us it was the fire, but really folks….
Robin and Melissa decided that they needed organization in the camp, so they thought that either one of them needed to be in charge of camp. Since Melissa hasn’t done it yet, it’s her turn. This is actually a hard decision. The camp is full of domineering personalities. Most of which strive for the spotlight.
Robin snaps! We can see the vein in his forehead throb as Nikki puts her own spoon into the pot. Robin snaps saying, “You don’t put your only fork in…” Sweet Nikki responds with “But I haven’t licked it yet.” “It doesn’t matter!”. Robin, dear, it does matter. As long as the fork had no saliva on it, it is still clean. Saying its wrong to put a clean fork in the pot is like asking people NOT to dip their chips in the salsa….ever.
Julie’s turn for the food trials! Her challenge is to stay in the forest, alone. For every ten minutes that she stays, the celebrities will get a meal back at camp. She stays there the entire time, and got all ten meals for the camp.
Hold on… one problem. To make her stay with the creatures in the jungle, she stuffed her ears with the wax from the candle she had handy… meaning of course that it wasn’t completely dark was it? Now she can’t get the wax out and a medic is called in to remove the wax. I have to admit that Julie was pretty funny in admitting to what was going on.
Another rainy day at camp. Tonight, someone leaves the jungle.
Once again, pep rallies at camp. Led by Robin again, they have a meeting discussing the moral of camp. This is now becoming a routine.
They are discussing the sanitary issues of the food at camp and Robin says, “You cannot, cannot, cannot, cannot, cannot, cannot eat undercooked chicken.”
Are you sure Robin?
He feels as though he must teach the girls how to survive in case all the men are voted out first. This is achieved by a whole lot more “cannots”. Robin, here’s a tip, instead of telling them what they Cannot X 100 do, just suggest things they should do… you know, like demand things from the producers. That should save them.
Julie in the food trials AGAIN. She has to walk in a snake pit with a lot of snakes. She has to grab as many of the stars to earn meals. They are spread out and the snakes “can bite!” Although she is still getting on my last nerve, I have to admit she did a great job. So far nothing has impressed me more than seeing Alana face the possum though. She accomplished seven stars and was very relieved to know that the viewers would no longer be voting for the bushtucker trials.
It’s time for the first celebrity to leave.
John, you’re staying.
Melissa, the voters want you to stay.
Maria, you’re staying.
Robin or Bruce, one of you will be leaving.
Robin, you are the first to leave.
America, why did we decide to kick him out?
As he leaves the forest, he is treated to a clip show of his stay and a butler with champagne and a champagne glass. He seems relieved to go.
Bruce finally got his shot at a trial and for some reason all the Olympian had to do was gather stars while climbing up a waterfall. Somehow this seemed very unfair to me. They couldn’t have tailored it to fit any better. I cry foul.
Cris, who in my eyes (this is Cali here) can do no wrong finally had to take his turn. He had to bob for stars (wasn’t this a trial a few episodes ago? You can’t tell me they can’t come up with different trials for everyone). The only minor difference was that he had to bob for the stars in a tub full of eels. He didn’t hesitate and dove right in garnering all 8 meals for camp.
Here’s my quick rundown on the campers:
Melissa at some point over the last few days went on and on about all the cosmetic surgery her mom has had. I have to believe that she somehow forgot she was on camera. Either that or she just has hidden resentful feelings toward mom. It’s not like Joan has ever tried to hide the fact, but please….
John is keeping the camp laughing. I think that is good for them, but if the viewers decide to punish the campers they could vote him out simply to make life harder than it is for the pampered pets.
Julie has calmed down. I am sure a lot of it has to do with Alana’s exit.
Cris is great
It's time for the second celebrity to leave tonight. Alana was chosen by America to leave, which I think she was pleased with. She was ready to leave.
Bruce never shuts up. If anyone here reads any Jonathon Kellerman books you’ll know what I mean when I say that being over descriptive in your stories can bore the pants off of the readers/listeners. Apparently I’m right as….
Tyson decided he could garner votes by streaking through camp. He planned it to make sure he would receive votes. Tyson honey, put your clothes back on and sit the hell down. Tyson has shown us his diva side again. If you ever meet him let me offer you some advice. He is always right. His ideas are always the best. For the love of all that is good in this world don’t ever wash your hair with his drinking water. He is becoming a pompous ass.
Nikki is now getting on my nerves too. I give Tyson a hard time for yelling at her about washing her hair with the drinking water, but in honesty I agree. It takes a lot of boiling to get the water drinkable, so Nikki is plain stupid for doing that. She really plays the “cute card” whenever possible, and for some reason (or reasons perhaps) it works on the guys.
Maria is still invisible, so her dismissal really won’t change things around camp too much. Bye, Maria!
So, there you have it. The recrap of the past few days. There was more, of course, but as long as you remember that most of the time is spent talking about how hard they have it, you really haven’t missed much.
To contact the authors of this article email firstname.lastname@example.org or email@example.com